36
submitted 4 days ago by cinnamon@lemmy.cafe to c/adhd@lemmy.world

For those of you who use meds, in particular methylphenidate:

Do you consume caffeine? What's your experience been with it?

15

I'm doing a course on coding with Python and we were told to install Anaconda and Jupyter Notebook.

I followed this installation guide and am currently at the part "Post Installation Guide", I have installed Jupyter notebook. https://thelinuxcode.com/install-anaconda-in-linux-mint-20/

As a further step it says: Launch Anaconda Navigator If you prefer graphical application interfaces, Navigator brings an intuitive package manager, notebook launcher, and IDE options like Spyder3.

I've been going through my applications but I can find neither Anaconda Navigator nor Jupyter there and I have no idea what I'm supposed to do next.

11

I'm doing an intro course to coding with Python and we're supposed to install Python and Jupyter, the recommendation is to install Anaconda.

I saw in the software manager that I already have Python3 installed and that it cannot be removed. Can I still install Anaconda additionally or will this fuck things up somehow? Or should I just install Jupyter Notebook?

I'm sorry if this is a dumb question, I'm a bit lost :P

71
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by cinnamon@lemmy.cafe to c/adhd@lemmy.world

Yeah, what the title says.

When I try to explain to friends or family how difficult it makes things in a relationship when one person (me) has ADHD they never get it and I often get the impression they think my wife is overreacting.

I understand that they want to support me but they aren't helping, it just makes me angry. I know that it's not all my fault but I want them to understand what a mental and emotional burden it can be to be the partner of an ADHD-person. Even when I tell them that our problems are typical for ADHD-partnerships, that everything I've read about it tell exactly the same story that we have been going through, it doesn't really make an impression and I want to scream at them "please for fuck's sake believe what I'm telling you!!"

Ugh.

Edit: Looking at the comments and reading my post again I feel like I should have phrased it differently:

What bothers me is not that people don't get how much I struggle with ADHD. What bothers me is that they can't seem to comprehend how mentally and emotionally draining it can be to be the partner of someone with ADHD and seem to have very little understanding or sympathy for my partner. And that makes me so mad because everyone seems to think I'm this great person and my wife must be overreacting.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 4 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you <3 I don't think my wife necessarily wants me to function like I don't have adhd but I still often have a shitty way of handling it when I fuck up.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 6 points 2 weeks ago

Yeah I agree. There are things I need to personally work on but our relationship has been damaged so much, if (and that's a big if) there's still hope for a future together I think we will definitely need couples therapy to get us back to a place of mutual trust and joy.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 11 points 2 weeks ago

Wow, what you wrote hit really close to home as well.

My wife had a very difficult childhood and unfortunately me having ADHD not being attentive enough triggers her personal trauma. We are a perfect match in many ways but in this aspect we are a terrible combination, our personal histories make everything so much harder.

Thank you so much for your words and I'm sorry you're going through such a hard thing yourself <3

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 4 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you <3 No I don't live in northern Colorado but virtual hugs are very much appreciated <3

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 6 points 2 weeks ago

Thank you so much <3

Yes, in the end I'm thinking: It's better to be apart than to keep making each other miserable. I want my wife to be happy and if she can't be happy with me then I truly want her to be happy with someone else.

All the best and much love to you <3

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 23 points 2 weeks ago

The issue is that I'm bad at "the mental load". Keeping things in mind, being aware of stuff that needs to be taken care of and taking care of it before it's too late.

For example, I do the dishes, I vacuum, take out the trash, no problem. But when there's mold starting to grow between the tiles in the bathroom I probably won't notice it for a long time and, once I do notice it, ignore it :P

Or, it took me over a year to finally get rid of our broken washing machine. My wife has asked me to take care of it and I said I would but then months passed and nothing happened.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 11 points 2 weeks ago

Our problems actually did start during Covid but I don't think the pandemic / the lockdown had anything to do with it. But that was when we moved to a new apartment for the second time and my wife started to realize that she was the one taking care of everything.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 8 points 2 weeks ago

We definitely also grew apart. I have been really bad at keeping the relationship alive. Like, in the 10 years we've been together, I've been able to maybe arrange a handful of date nights. I never initiate doing anything fun, like a surprise weekend trip or a special date night, because I'm so bad at planning and arranging things.

I think that at the beginning my wife ignored some of the ADHD red flags that were definitely already there because we were so in love. When we moved to a different city two years into our relationship she took care of everything but it wasn't an issue then. Eventually she realized that she was taking care of everything all the time.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 25 points 2 weeks ago

Yes, we've talked about this many times. She knows I've been trying but she needs be to become more responsible, reliable and "more of an adult" than I seem able to. And she blames me, rightfully so, for wasting a whole year doing nothing.

148
submitted 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago) by cinnamon@lemmy.cafe to c/adhd@lemmy.world

I don't really know who to talk to right now and posting here seems a good idea.

So, like the title says, I think my marriage is over. For context: Me (F42) and my wife have been married for 9 years. We got married not even a year into our relationship and I had no idea back then that I had ADHD. Did we get married too soon? Yes and no. The problems didn't really start until around year 5, so even if we had gotten married after, say, three years, the outcome would have been the same.

Around two and a half years ago my wife suggested that I may have ADHD after things had started getting worse and worse. But although I was open to the idea it took me a year to get off my butt and get diagnosed and start treatment. Precious time that I wasted.

Now I've been on meds for a year and in therapy for around 9 months. Some things have gotten better but the core problem remains: My wife feels responsible for everything, is shouldering pretty much all the mental load and I seem to be unable to become the reliable adult partner that she needs. ADHD or the way I handle it has completely eroded our marriage and the love we had between us. My wife feels exhausted and trapped and I feel helpless because I feel like I maybe moved up a level or two in my "adulting skills" but I'd need to be a Level 10 to make our marriage work. Or make any marriage work, for that matter.

I feel extremely sad. I feel sad about the suffering I have caused my wife, who really tried to stick it out. Probably longer than she should have for her own good. Sad because I've been trying really hard and I see some people who have ADHD but who also seem to have an "overachiever personality" and they have their shit together so much more than I do. Sad because I wasted a whole year doing nothing. Sad because we used to be so happy together and used to love each other so much and now all that seems to be left is bitterness and resentment.

😢

Edit: Thank you so much to everyone who has has already commented and shared kind words with me.

My wife and I have been going over this many many times. I know what she needs and I am trying and a feel fucking sad about the fact that, maybe, we just can't make it work. But I also realize I'm starting to reach a point where being on my own is beginning to sound liberating. I've never had a problem with being single and I feel like at least then there isn't anyone I can disappoint anymore. It's just me and if I fuck up the only person having to face the consequences is me.

I just feel really bad because I feel I have cost my wife so much. She would have wanted to have kids and I've always been on the fence about it. I used to absolutely not want to have kids when we met, then kinda came around to the idea (when you're super in love it does become a kinda wonderful idea) but then gradually starting feeling more and more uncertain. And now I'm at a point where, regardless of whether or not I want to have kids (I don't have a desire to have them but could imagine having them) I don't think I'm capable of raising kids. If we had broken up sooner my wife might have had a better chance at having kids with someone else.

I'd be lying if I said I haven't been feeling awful myself. I feel like I'm under constant pressure because I want to "prove myself" and the more I worry about fucking up the more tense I get. The best moment of the day is when I go to bed because then I don't have to do anything for the next 8 hours, just rest and sleep. Can't mistakey if not awakey :P

And our relationship has been deteriorating for so long and we've both become so fed up with each other. My wife is fed up with me because I'm not who she needs me to be and I'm fed up with her because I feel like even if I try to manage something myself, take care of something myself, I don't do it the right way. Sometimes it really isn't (last week I almost set the oven on fire) but sometimes it's just a minor thing.

Maybe, as sad as it is, we're better off apart and would be happier on own own / with someone else.

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 4 points 4 weeks ago

Android and/or Linux Mint

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 6 points 4 weeks ago

Nothing! I already use it on my desktop but just wanted to know if there are other good browsers out there :)

17

Are there any other browsers you could recommend apart from Vivaldi and LibreWolf that don't have any AI crap added to them?

[-] cinnamon@lemmy.cafe 8 points 4 weeks ago

Thank you, it was indeed the vpn! Kinda weird because it didn't use to cause any issues in the past. Thank you!

19
submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by cinnamon@lemmy.cafe to c/android@lemmy.world

I've been unable to access the PlayStore all day. It tells me I'm not signed in even though my profile picture is visible in the top right corner. When I tap "Try again" nothing happens.

When I tap on my profile picture and then select "Google Account" it tells me I'm not connected to the internet (see screenshot). But I am, using my browser for example works just fine.

The only other app I've noticed having problems is Weather, which is unable to refresh and also tells me there's no internet connection.

Any idea what's going on here?

10

A couple of days ago I started getting an error message every time I boot my laptop. It says:

EFI stub: WARNING: Failed to measure data for event 1: 0x800000000000000b

Any idea what caused this / what the issue is / how I can resolve it?

Thank you!

4

A while ago I came across the band Takamachi Walk, fell instantly in love with their music, and through them found other bands such as the aforementioned Ariabl'eyeS, Asriel, Elfensjón as well as Imy, Denkare etc.

Since a thing they all share is that all their album covers are anime-style illustrations I was wondering if these bands are some specific kind of genre and, if so, what it's called.

Also, if anyone has any additional band recommendations I'd love to hear them :)

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cinnamon

joined 1 month ago