Was a realization that I've come to learn and internalize. It sounds fucked up to say and it is not to say I will stop fighting... But the weight and burden it's lifted is a powerful thing.

For much of my life I have been so focused and driven to learn all I can about environmental and social issues. The driving thought process being that the more I learn and understand, the better the chance of being able to help bring forth solutions or make a difference.

But internalization of the grief and world's burdens was and is not a healthy thing. It left me overly anxious, sick and angry (to skim the surface and be brief).

By refraiming it in such a way, I can prioritize my own happiness, feel empowered in the sense it would be wonderful by some small miracle to make a difference but it's also not my fault if things still go to shit.

To dance and love every moment, the newfound peace is liberating. All the while decoupling from the issues on a personal level has left me fired up and feeling most capable of making a difference, I'll be focusing on resiliency. (Specifically extreme weather resistant housing and food production).

Save the world, but it's okay if we can't. Save what we can, if we can. There is joy to be found in supporting one another and trying our best. The optimism of Solar Punk feels much better than complete resignation to collapse.

I am healing myself, so that I may help others through the stages of collapse awareness, and provide support through the crumbles.

That's where it feels our efforts might be best spent. Prepare for the inevitable and build the information hubs / resiliency arks and safe harbours. Fight for such resiliency to help give the next generations a fighting chance (however slim) or the chance of a more dignified decline.

Something something, a phoenix rises from the ashes?