Homie. Check out Heidi Priebe on YouTube as well as coach Craig Kenneth. They both have given me excellent information on healing attachment wounds and showing up for myself first
Just breathe and give them a shot. You don't need to sign up for anything, they have a ton of videos that are worth going down the rabbit holes on.
I hope you feel better. Definitely reach out to a professional therapist who can guide you along. You don't have to work with one who doesn't mesh well for you but hopefully you'll find one who does challenge you. They're powerful even when you're not in a crisis. If it does get worse, 988 is there.
Partners come and go, even if it's several days or several decades. Your inner child will always be there for you though. Show up for them and be good to them. You've got this.
Don't worry, he's also 4 feet tall and has a complex about it