Serious question - what rules in 5e encourage bad player behaviour?

Not one person ever: "There is no song about Oath of Devotion Paladins"

Oh hey, your scam got a product yet?

... this list contains like 3 items phrased differently ~7 times each.

"This person had a family/friends" "This person was supporting someone else" "This person liked their pets"

repeat ...

I think the issue is that horny is the only option my dude.

The problem isnt 'i want vampires that are horny' but 'I want there to be only vampires that are horny'

It's not about someone getting what they want, it is about wanting other people not to get things you dont want.

Phyre doesnt sound much like vampire though?

I was halfway through a comment about how edgy it was for a vamp to have a 'fire' name

5 level 3+ characters vs 3 CR 1 bugbears and a handful of CR 1/4 goblins.

That is a trivial encounter. Of course you wrecked them.

You like the way she goosesteps huh?

Counter argument - she's a space nazi, and nazis are for punching.

No shit. He's a warlock.

You might feel that way, but if they're complaining that you steal the spotlight too much, theyre probably introverts who find it too hard to cut in without you allowing them a chance.

• Shillelagh + Booming/greenflame blades is verifiably incredible. Once you have it low Str or Dex dont matter offensively. (When I say verifiably, I had a party that I GM'd through Tyranny of dragons about 3 levels underlevelled, and the Shillelagh + greenflame user was consistently useful in combat)
• Dont worry too much about Faerie Fire, the game is swimming in sources of advantage. If nothing else, elevation, positioning, and visibility are all ways to get it no matter your build.
• crusher probably would be more effective, if only so it frees up the drone slot for a protector. Those Temp HP are a survivability measure that you just cant discount.
• Not for a sword cantrip build, but overall, I have gotten places with a levitating air Genassi + arcane firearm + firebolt for main + shocking grasp for close