no hot filaments...

There may not be filaments, but heat is still an issue for LEDs.

Some bulb manufacturers basically overdrive cheaper diodes to get extra brightness at the cost of generating extra heat. Some of those manufacturers compensate for the heat in some way, others don't even bother and produce bulbs with a service life of months instead of decades. Some of these are fly-by-night online sellers that won't exist anymore by the time their products start to fail. Others are established brands that people will blindly purchase based on a reputation that no longer matches reality. There are some reliable brands out there if you read up on it, but why the fuck should we have to research every little inane item in our life?

Aside from corporate greed, though, there are other reasons heat causes early LED bulb failure. Two common ones are incompatible devices on the same circuit (like light dimmers), and installing the bulb in an enclosure without adequate heat dissipation (like a ceiling 'boob' light).

I've been all LED for well over a decade, and have had a good experience so far. I personally tend to buy smart bulbs that can put out way more light than I need, and run them at 20-50% brightness most of the time. Feit Electric and Govee's basic smart bulbs have been pretty reliable for me, but I admit I'm a pretty small sample size. I know I'm paying a premium for that approach, but it's not unreasonable and I do prefer not having to worry about it.

The vegetable vampire one was Bunnicula!

It's not an "if" detector, it's a "how much" detector. It looks like it's using the LED chamber to light the film in a consistent way, and then the phone camera measures the color change to quantify how much radiation it was exposed to.

There's always the Jewel Cooler:

15 square meters isn't the same as 15m×15m, it'd be a little smaller than 4m×4m. Still a big hole.

More like homicidally stupid.

The 'S' in IOT stands for Secure

We definitely whip shitties in WI, too.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

CEO?

Generally, when describing a thing, the unit is written as singular. "15 minute delay", "10 foot pole", "5 gallon bucket". When referring the unit itself though, it would be plural: "a delay of 15 minutes", "the pole is 10 feet long", "this bucket holds 5 gallons". I'm sure there's a more precise way to say this, but hopefully it helps.

Lucifer