All those cool names, and then 'Varicose Wart Slug'. Poor guy.

There's always the Jewel Cooler:

I mean, it is 100% discrimination against people who are too old to do the job, yes.

15 square meters isn't the same as 15m×15m, it'd be a little smaller than 4m×4m. Still a big hole.

More like homicidally stupid.

The 'S' in IOT stands for Secure

We definitely whip shitties in WI, too.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

CEO?

Generally, when describing a thing, the unit is written as singular. "15 minute delay", "10 foot pole", "5 gallon bucket". When referring the unit itself though, it would be plural: "a delay of 15 minutes", "the pole is 10 feet long", "this bucket holds 5 gallons". I'm sure there's a more precise way to say this, but hopefully it helps.

Jody is the guy who steals your girl while you're deployed

Lucifer