Bet she refused to refill some Boomer's pain meds and they decided to 'report' her as revenge.

Just a rock or a knife, if you wear the animal down enough. You're probably not biting through the hide though.

More like homicidally stupid.

The 'S' in IOT stands for Secure

We definitely whip shitties in WI, too.

For those wondering, this played out well! OP found someone to take the job. His wife bit on the prank gleefully, was actually thrilled by the idea that OP had a son he didn't know about. When the prank was revealed, she thought it was hilarious. Ultimately pretty wholesome, OP married a keeper.

CEO?

Generally, when describing a thing, the unit is written as singular. "15 minute delay", "10 foot pole", "5 gallon bucket". When referring the unit itself though, it would be plural: "a delay of 15 minutes", "the pole is 10 feet long", "this bucket holds 5 gallons". I'm sure there's a more precise way to say this, but hopefully it helps.

Props for the perfect interrobang usage

Jody is the guy who steals your girl while you're deployed

I don't think the comment you're replying to was referring to shit as in fecal matter, but rather shit as in unknown potentially toxic substances.

Lucifer