When Commander Archer stages a mutiny aboard the ISS Enterprise, Captain Forrest gets thrown in the brig and T’Pol gets promoted to first officer. But after a Tholian warp signature leads them to a TOS-era Defiant, the Dustbuster club restores power just in time to see their ship get destroyed. Who is definitely picking up the phone in this era? How is the CrossFit of pain different from the Orange Theory of pain? What’s the worst thing about the agonizer booth? It’s the episode that definitely had crack out of frame.

When the cadets leave campus for All-Worlds Day break, Darem gets ritually abducted and Jay-Den makes an extremely risky decision to follow him through a random portal. But after Caleb stays aboard the Athena and Genesis gets them both in trouble over nothing, Jay-Den gives a reception speech so targeted that it pushes the happy couple to the point of abdication. How does a Klingon wear a speedo? What’s been working fine on Star Trek for 60 years? Which species gets more exposition than the Khionians? It’s the episode with three notable examples of science fiction.

When the Entrepreneur encounters an Orion ship, its captain makes an offer that the crew can’t refuse. But after Archer figures out who’s really in charge, Tucker and T’Pol use their pheromonal immunity to save the ship. When is slavery like a bathroom? How is the EPS system like an ATM machine? Whose auction price can be compared to everything? It’s the very horny episode that’s red meat for a Star Trek teen.

When the Academy and the War College are spirited away on a field trip to visit the USS Miyazaki, everything seems like fun and games until rabid bat men crash the party. But when Captain Ake is short on options for saving the students, Admiral Openly-Judges-You-For-Not-Having-In-Unit-Laundry suggests they should set Nus on the loose. What grade level does a ship's computer read at? How do you best cook a Caleb Mir? What's the worst part about invisible space suits? It’s the episode that's front and center for the Andrew Davis film festival. 

When the Entrepreneur is stuck at top speed and Commander Tucker is the only person who can help, Reed gets sprung from the brig to tether him over from the Columbia. But after a cold restart of the warp core leads them to Dr. Phlox, he lies to deploy a bioweapon saving the Colony from getting glassed. Which long-running podcast is making the world worse? What are Boomers uniquely susceptible to? Who is in a race to the bottom honor-wise? It’s the episode that has some physics questions.

When SAM is under pressure from the makers on Kasq, getting into a new class about the unexplainable puts her on the trail of another important emissary. But after exploring the life and legacy of the Sisko, SAM learns she no longer has to defend her choices to succeed. Who didn’t get screeners? Which stunt was shot like a ConAir explosion? What is the propellor hat of confections? It’s the episode that treats DS9 like a sacred text.

When some Klingons start experimenting with augment DNA, they start a pandemic and kidnap Dr. Phlox to find a cure. But after Hoshi gets melded and Reed gets thrown in the brig, the rest of the crew chase down a Rigelian ship and find the Entrepreneur has been sabotaged. What could push us into the physical-media lifestyle? Who is Trip Tucker’s Steve Stevens? Where do lady captains need to be careful? It’s the episode that’s going through some changes.

When a Klingon transport is destroyed and the diaspora becomes the topic of debate at the Academy, Jay-Den Kraag faces his fear of public speaking to make a case for Klingon autonomy. But after Captain Ake reunites with a warlord from her past and Admiral Vance lets him win his charity in battle, Jay-Den begins to recognize the new brother he has in Caleb Mir. Who probably started shaving in the fourth grade? What does two dads and one mom necessarily mean? Which sport needs more screaming? It’s the episode that’s spamming the universe with advertisements for Starfleet Academy.

When evidence reveals the drone pilot to be a white Andorian, Archer and Shran beam down to the polar region looking for the Aenar. But after building a telepresence chair right in the middle of sicksbay, the crew’s tests eventually reach Gareb and end the Romulan attack. Who’s not the easiest person to work with? Why are Ben and Adam never going back to the U.K.? What’s a great strategy for resigning from a job? It’s the episode that’s The Silmarillion for Hemmer.

When the War College students start pranking the Starfleet cadets, the adults in charge only add fuel to their fire. But after Darem fumbles as team captain and Caleb and Tarima get closer, the cadets end the prank war with only a little bit of lab-grown eye trauma. What do we not universally want to know? When is a backwards basketball shot required? Which movie will not be mined for drops? It’s the episode with a Paul Verhoeven shot.

When the Betazed president alphas Admiral Keeps-Sending-You-Dave-Ramsey-and-Tony-Robbins-Videos during negotiations to potentially rejoin the Federation, it becomes clear he may not be there to negotiate in earnest. But after the president’s daughter takes a liking to a Caleb, he may be able to save the negotiations as long as he doesn’t goo everywhere first. Which dead actor is living on? How was BART rebranded? Which cadet is jacked like a WWE superstar? It’s the episode that forgot everyone’s name.

When Shran’s girlfriend dies at a Tellarite’s hand, the avenging of her death could ruin their alliance so Archer cuts in to end the duel honorably. But after Trip and Reed get trapped and irradiated, they blow up the damn ship and escape back to the Entrepreneur. Whose advice should always be followed? What is Admiral Gardener’s secret identity? Who never skips face day at the gym? It’s the episode that wanted more gash and Narg.