When a group of Denobulan scientists needs rescuing underground, an away team covered in spelunking gear explores a different type of Star Trek cave. But when an injured Antaran refuses treatment by Dr. Phox, Captain Know-It-All forces them to take one small step toward reconciliation. What is the golden death triangle of sadness? How do you keep a tribble from reproducing? Which movie most honors Gene Hackman’s legacy? It’s the episode that’s got three of everything!

When Zero’s broken-suit lifestyle leads to a telepathic cold call, the kids agree to a side quest so they can get their Medusan friend all fixed up. But when an impulsive decision to go straight for long green body leads to a thrilling chase through some flowers, Zero ultimately decides to stick with the dance partners that brought them and leave Lobster Fest behind. What’s Star Trek’s version of “are you gonna eat that?” Which mid-market motel chain could ruin Zero’s senses? How did Q convince jacked Wesley to stay in his new body? It’s the episode that previews The Benjamin Ahr Harrison Star Trek Hour!

When the Entrepreneur gets diverted to watch some hot space action, Mayweather asks for leave to visit his family on the Horizon. But when his father’s sudden death places Paul Mayweather in a position of authority, working together to save the ship from space pirates gives the brothers hope for the future. How does Travis maintain his abs? What are horror movies of the future like? Who else could have been a sexual interest for Nora? It’s the episode that needed a Scottish accent.

When Jankom Pog clogs up the Infinity, getting to Chakotay’s nebula faster means flying through a Borg conduit. But when they’re pulled out of the green tunnel by a Kazon Maje, Zero’s heroics lead to a broken suit. Who wouldn’t have a problem on Hot Ones? Which script is the USS Infinity’s registry printed in? When is a foosball table like a starship? It’s the episode that could never ride transit backwards.

When Archer gets put on trial for helping refugees in need, his simple country Klingon lawyer requires some inspiration to mount a defense. But when the magistrate’s ruling doesn’t feel like justice, a courtroom outburst sends both of them to the dilithium mines. What’s the spiky bird of Qo'noS? How do Klingon courts make money? Where was Kolos born? It’s the episode where Rura Penthe is keeping things fun.

When the cadets are on lockdown as the Infinity is being sent to its fiery blue death, programming holo doubles is their only plan for saving the timeline. But when their copies are good enough to cause an identity crisis, the Rok-Tahks work together to figure out who gets to escape on the Infinity. What’s gaining traction in state legislatures? Who is rolling around in her grave? Which movie franchise is not for making sense? It’s the episode that’s uncomfortable with most of the adults on Voyager A. 

When MaxFun Drive is around the corner and the Friends of DeSoto have questions, Ben and Adam sit down with producer Wynde to see what answers they can find. But when all of the accessories are the same color and video game lines get drawn in the sand, nostalgia and redundancy keep the pod sausage factory humming. Which aircraft probably costs extra in Microsoft Flight Simulator? What’s the most tedious way to play Scrabble? Who can fill in the gaps left by dinger pills? It’s the episode that’s not going to explain big dirty ring.

When a huge chode ship approaches the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer assembles a team to investigate its gaping maw immediately. But when wispy beings start inhabiting members of the crew, their strange experiences and after-school special behavior make another mass retreat to the catwalk necessary. How could Reed be caught unawares? Which wisp should have been sent first? What was Mayweather doing all day? It’s the episode that’s gotta put a Ritter in.

When Admiral Janeway puts the cadets through a kid-style tribunal, the senior officers don’t believe their story and Dr. Mark gets assigned as babysitter. But when Admiral Jellico orders Janeway to destroy the time hole, the kids translate Murf-speak and get a new clue about where to find Chakotay. Who is starting to catch strays on the Uxbridge-Shimoda family of shows? What does Murf refuse to wear in the shower? Which ship’s counselor is the most likely to speak up? It’s the episode where some of the letters are backwards.

When Captain Archer and Commander Tucker get snatched out of their shuttlepod, they’re placed on a prison transport ship with an unspeakably dangerous criminal. But when his Con Air plan goes into action and Archer somehow manages to impress him, refusing to go back to Canamar is the last decision he’ll make. Whose poop is so hard that it snapped a spoon? How long will Ben remain a winner in Polo Polo or Pollo? Which specialist is MVP in the Enterprise prop department? It’s the episode that’s pro Canamar.

When Gwyn has critically low hit points at the bottom of the Va’Lu’Rah hole, her young father puts her first while she gets a mysterious message directly from the cosmos. But when the kids on the Infinity get a strange message in calculator font, they decide to time travel to find Gwyn before it’s too late to save her. What does “it’s complicated” actually mean? Why can’t anyone get a ride on this show? Which name-brand director deserves a crack at Star Trek? It’s the episode that imagines Rok-Tahk’s coming of age.

When the Entrepreneur finds a tin can tumbling through space, they bring it aboard and start dropping things down its impossibly deep hatch. But when the Suliban and the Tholians both show up and start fighting over the pod, unknown future people finally collect their shit after which the NX-01 isn’t even worth a torpedo. When does an extra 5mm make a difference? Where else could you donate your body? Which shot is named after Christopher Walken? It’s the episode that just can’t get on the grappler’s level.

When Dal and the team crash on a wasteland version of Solum, they get imprisoned with Captain Chakotay and try not to mess up the timeline. But when the Protostar leaves Solum with two extra people aboard, Gwyn starts Back To The Futuring at a critical point in the Va'Lu'Rah. What’s the risk of sharing binoculars? Why aren’t there more puffers? Where will you never get a courtesy wave? It’s the episode that‘s way in the pocket of Starfleet pants.

When the Vulcans and the Andorians start fighting over the same shitty planet, Captain Archer gets called in on special diplomatic duty and no one really knows why. But when Shran releases a hostage and tries to open a conversation with Ambassador Soval, Suzie Plakson breaks rank and reveals she’s a war-hungry anti-Vulcite. Which superhero do you want at a sex party? Who is logicing like a fox? Will Shran ever sleep again? It’s the episode that got a little overcooked.

When Asencia pre-poisoned the well on Solum, Gwyn’s failed attempt at first contact leads her to a younger version of her father. But when Admiral Janeway arrives at the space hole only to hear from a creepy talking orb, a series of loud-mouthed gaffes by Dal results in a capital Dun Dun Dun into the anomaly. What’s the scariest thing humans have ever invented? How would we know if the rest o the universe is completely fucked up? Is the orb holding something in its little hand? It’s the episode that remains divided over whale penises.

When T’Pol is feeling a little green under the gills, Dr. Phlox starts telling professional lies to advance the treatment of her terminal condition. But when the Vulcans find out about her stigmatized status, there’s barely time to measure the man before one of their doctors blurts out both of their secrets. Which character is least likely to beat around a bush? What’s the number one thing about soap? Who is starting to make a pattern out of taking off his shirt? It’s the episode that somehow got the Australian dubs.

When Janeway calls upon our favorite crew members from the Protostar, they all drop what they're doing to join a new adventure. But when the kids realize the adults are keeping certain information and shuttle bays secret, they hatch a new cockamamie scheme and jump into the Jefferies tubes. Does Rok-Tahk sink or does she swim? How do you actually make money on YouTube? Does the "A" in Voyager-A stand for "ass"? It’s the episode that demands for the release of the Waltke cut.

When Commander Tucker gets shot down on a solo mission, there just happens to be a moon for him and his attacker to crash land on. But when they have to work together to get a message to the Entrepreneur, Captain Archer mounts a joint rescue operation and comes by his diplomatic success with the Arkonians honestly. Which classic 90s movie needs a punch-up? Why might Trip want to get more things done in his life? Is there something else you should always do before dinner? It’s the episode that goes hard on the R.

When Emperor Georgiou’s backstory doesn’t make her any more redeemable, getting pulled into a Section 31 mission gives her another chance to do the right thing. But when their assignment reveals a relic from her own destructive past, gruesomely killing her childhood boyfriend doesn’t exactly earn her atonement. Was there a code name for this movie during production? What are the mirror universe Borgs like? Why don’t strippers die when they jump off bridges? It’s the episode that just needed its heart to grow two sizes this day.

When the Entrepreneur’s entire crew compliment has to move into the ship’s nacelles, the dangerous storm and the lack of personal space puts everyone on edge. But when the alien visitors who warned them about the wave turn out to be AWOL deserters, the militia men trying to steal the ship almost take their game of pollo with Captain Archer too far. What’s an everyday thang for Dr. Phlox? Does Reed have a support animal? Which new subbasement of Archer’s character has now been explored? It’s the episode that’s only half Under Siege.

This episode is part of a project called the Star Trek Pod Crawl. We’re a group of Star Trek podcasts raising money for science education by banding together and making special episodes about some of our favorite Star Trek films. Join us in supporting the National Center for Science Education and check out all other great podcast episodes in this series by visiting StarTrekPodCrawl.com

When Commander Tucker gets voluntold to repair an alien cryo-chamber, the beautiful woman inside turns out to be both a prisoner and a prissy storybook princess. But when they make their escape and land on a bog planet, a roll in the mud gets them to a place of mutual affection. When is Archer a good captain? What’s the next step after the international sign for choking? Who is guilty of Bob Dylan decision making? It’s the episode that contains a Menk, a Padma, and a wolf.

A special presentation of Wholesome. It's about Dungeons & Dragons.