[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 13 points 1 year ago

Thank you for this update, and I hope you guys are all doing OK. Look after yourselves! And thank you for this space. It's the first place in ages I actually have felt I want to post or comment on something in anticipation of a friendly discussion instead of worrying about trolls or aggressive responses :)

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Thank you for this, another great read. I've also enjoyed reading through the comments and discussions on it and feel like I'm getting more of a handle on the balance you're trying to strike here. I really appreciate all the clear, engaging and comprehensive comments. They're giving me a lot of food for thought! :)

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

We never saw anything like that in school (I'm in the UK), or were shown dead bodies/people dying/anything like that. The closest we came was travelling to places like the Somme and a lot about the world war.

TW, unpleasant content

spoilerI remember watching a video at a concentration camp that showed people reduced to near-skeletons because of the horrors they were subjected to, starvation and so forth. I even educated myself in my own time on the horrors of nuclear war as a teen, the horrific injuries and deaths experienced by the victims of the bombing of Hiroshima and Nagasaki etc etc, but it still had a huge negative impact on my ability to function (see below) even though I was looking voluntarily.

And honestly? I **didn't ** cope well. I have autism, ADHD and OCD (the former two I've only been diagnosed with in my 30s), which makes it very hard to filter out, compartmentalise or be 'thick skinned' about anything, despite working most of my life on it. I had a really, really hard time. It made my OCD go through the roof, I lived in constant fear and anxiety, and suffered with intrusive thoughts and images of the things I'd seen.

Unfortunately, not everyone is able to process that kind of imagery or story without it having a massive detrimental impact on their life.

In this case, I thought I was going to read a story about a bartender dealing with a patron he didn't want in the bar, on an instance that I thought was safe from shocking content like that. Having a picture like that slapped in my face was, as I said, incredibly upsetting, and I had to spend time processing and dealing with the emotions it brought up (see disabilities above).

All I'm asking for it a content warning is all, so people can either choose not to look, or at least mentally prepare themselves. :) I hope that helps answer your question a bit, and I'm sorry if it's rambly!

Edited to add: I didn't mention it in my original reply because I didn't want to be speaking on behalf of others, but there are probably a lot of people out there for whom stumbling across that sort of image would be way more traumatic for a variety of reasons. So my concern wasn't just for me, if that makes sense?

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 2 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry (and apologies for struggling to interpret your comments, I'm AuDHD and find it hard to read between the lines). When it's cleaned up I'll be more than willing to share it, but right now it's probably got loads of mistakes and issues because I still have a lot more learning to do :)

I just wanted to share where I've got to with beehaw and see if people like it; I didn't mean to upset anyone!

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you! ^_^

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

Ah I see! I'd rather not share the CSS anywhere publicy (certainly not yet) because it's just too embarrassing! ๐Ÿ˜‚

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 1 points 1 year ago

I'm sorry for being really stupid here, but when you say the source, do you mean the CSS? ๐Ÿ˜…

15
submitted 1 year ago by Fluffybirb@beehaw.org to c/chat@beehaw.org

Hi everyone! -waves nervously-

First post!

I just wanted to share the tweaks/customisations I've been mucking around with on Stylus for lemmy. :)

I'm not a professional and haven't properly studied CSS in great detail - only through limited online research, help from developers at work and some osmosis from my job as well. As such, my actual CSS 'code', such as it is, is probably a horrifying mess.

However, I'm a very visual person who loves a pretty website and tweaking and customising things and I just can't help myself sometimes!

It's been a really good learning exercise for me to try and theme the site, taking into account all the different classes and variations there are. I would need to do a whole lot more work on this to make it viable for anyone other than me (and take into account responsiveness, accessibility etc).

Anyhoo, I kept saying to myself I should try and get over my fear and engage more with the community here so... here we go! I hope you like it as a hopefully vaguely presentable draft :)

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 4 points 1 year ago

Very well said. I wish I could write out my thoughts as eloquently as this!

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 21 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

OK, third time trying to post this comment after my previous two never went through ๐Ÿฅฒ

I've seen a lot of people predict that this would be their next move if the blackouts continued. It's sad to see them actually begin with the threats though :/

I'm wondering if this is a sort of desperation move because of advertisers looking at removing spending from reddit if things continue. Particularly where they say they would start thinking about that if things stayed dark for a couple of weeks.

I don't know, I'm heading to bed, rewritten this three times and I'm not a good speaker, so apologies for it not being very coherent! ๐Ÿ˜…

Anyway, still many shames on reddit. I hope the blackouts continue so that advertisers leave. Booooo reddit booooo.

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

Thank you, that was really interesting! I've never heard of evaporative cooling before.

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 6 points 1 year ago

Thank you for letting us know! I understand that it's a difficult and nuanced decision to have to make. For what it's worth, I really appreciate this call. Most of the reason I chose beehaw was to have a safe place where I felt able to open up more and actually participate in a community without fear of hostile or aggressive interactions, and having bad actors infiltrate would probably have sent me back into my online shell again.

I know not everyone will be able to understand fully, but especially if you're neurospicy and have difficulty regulating emotion, rock-bottom self esteem, executive functioning issues, etc. it is exponentially harder to deal with, process and compartmentalise (if possible at all) negative experiences online. I know for myself I need space and time to be able to build up resilience and internal processes to handle it, and bring thrown in the deep end is more destructive than helpful (I'm 36 and had it tried on me multiple times with people using the 'cruel to be kind' approach. All it does is dismantle what little self esteem I scrape together).

Tl;DR, thank you for making this decision and keeping beehaw a safe place to be until you get the tools and resources you need to open up again. ๐Ÿฅฐ I know that if I do want to go and check out the other instances, I can just make a new account over there and still have my cosy place here to retreat to if needed for wholesome discussions. <3

[-] Fluffybirb@beehaw.org 3 points 1 year ago

First comment!

I have always felt exactly the same way. I almost never posted or commented on Reddit for the same reason, constantly worried about negative or aggressive responses. Didn't have to spoons to always spend ages typing and re-typing a comment to make sure it came across exactly as I wanted it to and add something of as much value as possible x___x

I like the philosophy of beehaw and hope that it will help me start getting over this mental blocker. :)

view more: next โ€บ

Fluffybirb

joined 1 year ago