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Theory (lazysoci.al)
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It happens to us all! What's a time it happened to you?

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My spirit animal (lazysoci.al)
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Deffo not him... (lazysoci.al)
submitted 2 months ago by CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al to c/cat@lemmy.world
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[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 2 months ago

I hope you're wrong. I really, really hope.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 2 months ago

Talks to themselves a lot. Ranting and raving in the car pretending you're on the phone, talking to the air at home about recent events... nobody admits it though!

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 22 points 2 months ago

Yep, I was given a choice of thick or lazy. I was a teenager so yes, I was but my biggest issue was I avoided it because I was scared of it. Nothing I did was good enough.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 23 points 2 months ago

This is a great post, thanks for posting it. Men can often do that, and women are often trained to be diplomatic, passive and non confrontational so they're used to us staying quiet when they do. Some men may just think they're being helpful "correcting" us, but some are just being hostile. Often comment history shows a pattern of targeting women for these comments.

Gaming is bad for misogyny, and scarily, right wingextremist group recruitment is linked to gaming groups. It includes incel mentality grooming, so I'm not surprised you've experienced it there.

It's interesting seeing down voting... feminist stuff too often gets down votes, and I've no doubt it's misogynists doing it. Misogynistic men tend to back each other up if it's against a woman which is shitty.

It's all really disappointing that this still happens, and I dunno if it's getting worse or just more vocal.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 2 months ago

Porn in theory I have zero issues with, sex work is work. My issue is the content and the fact it's not well regulated.

Content... there's so much choking, violence, verbal abuse and sexual assault/incest. What really concerns me is I've never seen a film where they discuss boundaries and safewords at the start. It takes under a minute! "I'm so horny! Just fyi I don't do ABC but love DEF. Safeword is pineapple. What about you?" Choking is a known danger flag in DA and its being normalised in porn with no safety net.

Then there's the type of sex. People are fetishised a lot ("exotic", trans etc) which is dangerous. Anal is everywhere, and IME a lot of young people think they HAVE to do it. So much porn is the man jack hammering away and I've NEVER known a woman that's liked that start to finish in sex. Shaved or at least styled vaginas are expected, and theres rarely condoms. What kind of ideas are young people getting about what's normal in sex?

The industry isn't well regulated. You regularly see videos where people look at best uncomfortable, and they're often really young. There's a lot of abuse in the industry and it's really not ok.

I do wonder, if it wasn't young women at risk, would there be more action?

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 21 points 3 months ago

Yep, thank God A WOMAN doesn't have the nuclear codes. Just imagine how scary that would be.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 23 points 3 months ago

Bitterness in the tone, even if it's just for a second. Maybe a slight eyebrow raise or almost eye roll as well.

No patience with women having trouble with driving, DIY or other things women are more likely to struggle with.

Often makes disparaging remarks about famous women, for example tears apart a politicians views or ridicules a female performer. Doesn't seem to do that with men.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 3 months ago

Fun... that part of your body you hate? I can pretty much guarantee you people haven't noticed flaws with it and if they did, it doesn't mean much to them. So you can relax, nobody is looking at it!

Serious... always trust your gut instinct. Always. It's your unconscious telling you something. If a man gives you the heeby jeebies and you don't know why, stay away. If you get an urge to GTFO of somewhere, go. It's saved many women a lot of pain!

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 3 months ago

Yep and a big part of it is blame shifting onto women. The running theme I find in incel subs is that they don't actually do anything about their issues, other than maybe some appearance based work sometimes. They just wallow in blame shifting and self pity

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 24 points 4 months ago

Plus fear of being believed, self blame and feeling of needing to be polite.

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 22 points 4 months ago

Extra long charging cable. I have 3 glorious metres, I can charge it when in bed, on the sofa, wherever!

[-] CheeseToastie@lazysoci.al 22 points 4 months ago

Thanks mate! I'm so happy to see these supportive comments from men I didn't expect it! Really appreciated

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