666
MySQL moment (lemmy.world)
submitted 8 months ago by devilish666@lemmy.world to c/programmer_humor@programming.dev
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[-] Kissaki@programming.dev 75 points 8 months ago

Turned into a skeleton in 10 minutes

[-] Downcount@lemmy.world 56 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Yeah, also each query request was a human beeing. Such an unrealistic comic.

[-] brisk@aussie.zone 48 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

[-] Finalsolo963 5 points 8 months ago

🏳️‍⚧️

[-] HowManyNimons@lemmy.world 1 points 7 months ago

Also rings don't make you invisible.

[-] owen@lemmy.ca 36 points 8 months ago

Not to mention, mysql is a database management framework, while in the comic it's a food stand! Absurd!

[-] RustyNova@lemmy.world 9 points 8 months ago

Not queries, programs. They have pid

[-] Downcount@lemmy.world 8 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Shoot, you are ~~right~~ wrong. They are processes.

[-] RustyNova@lemmy.world 3 points 8 months ago

Ah FUCK- mind said process, fingers typed program. But most of the time they are equivalent

[-] Downcount@lemmy.world 1 points 8 months ago

The thing is, at first I actually, responded with "you are right". See, humans make errors. Also, this isn't a competence competition. (At least I hope so.)

[-] drkt@lemmy.dbzer0.com 21 points 8 months ago

Waiting for a computer causes a temporal bubble to surround the subjects and age them at a rate of x100

[-] devfuuu@lemmy.world 15 points 8 months ago

If a query does not take 30 min does it even exist?

[-] Delta_V@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

The waiting is how you know its giving you correct answers.

[-] Fridgeratr@lemmy.world 7 points 8 months ago

Exactly lol. If it's instant you know you fucked up

[-] RustyNova@lemmy.world 12 points 8 months ago

Got sigkill-ed. But of course, this doesn't cancel the request

[-] bappity@lemmy.world 39 points 8 months ago

8 JOINS???? ARE YOU TRYING TO DIE

[-] xpinchx@lemmy.world 29 points 8 months ago

You guys are only using 8 joins?

[-] souperk@reddthat.com 17 points 8 months ago

No, they are using an ORM.

[-] FurbiesAndBeans@lemmy.world 14 points 8 months ago

It’s fine if they’re indexed correctly…

[-] seliaste 8 points 8 months ago

What it feels like to smoke 8 joins

[-] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 36 points 8 months ago

If your views aren't nested joins on views on views on views with group bys with wildcard text matching are you even trying to enter hell?

[-] MajorHavoc@programming.dev 7 points 8 months ago

Exactly. I once worked with a junior developer who had constructed a simple reusable view with test coverage. I don't think they were even trying to make a pact with the nether realm. I'm just not sure what SQL is coming to these days.

[-] blackstrat@lemmy.fwgx.uk 2 points 8 months ago

Absolute amateur

[-] jawa21@lemmy.sdf.org 35 points 8 months ago

This is fantastic and incredibly well made. Does anyone have the source?

[-] mac@programming.dev 22 points 8 months ago* (last edited 8 months ago)

Tried looking. According to one of the users who posted it its by 0x00 whos the person who made floor 796. All things I can find relating to them are floor 796 related though and can't find where this was originally posted

Heres floor 796 though if anyones interested https://floor796.com

[-] intelisense@lemm.ee 23 points 8 months ago

Should have used Postgres...

[-] titey@jlai.lu 3 points 8 months ago

True true...

[-] vampire@lemmy.world 5 points 8 months ago

Say it with me everyone, INDICES

[-] dylanTheDeveloper@lemmy.world 4 points 8 months ago

Quick roll back the transaction

[-] Tja@programming.dev 3 points 8 months ago

MongoDB, on the other hand, is web scale.

this post was submitted on 02 Mar 2024
666 points (100.0% liked)

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