I've shat my bed, can I sleep in yours instead.

"Do you like Apple Pie? Wanna F***?"

2007, on a high school field trip to an amusement park. My friends and I were all standing around outside, near a little restaurant seating area.

A teenage boy from another school came bolting over, nearly knocking over a chair. He said to me directly, “I’m lost, can you find my dad?”

He was fake twitching and holding his hands up against his chest. I was just confused, and none of us knew how to respond. Just a second later, another teenage boy (not fake twitching this time) ran up. He threw his arm around the other boy and said to me, “thank you for watching my mentally challenged* friend. Can I have your number in case it happens again?”

A teacher promptly ran over and broke up the interaction, telling the boys to beat it.

Probably the most creative attempt I’ve ever witnessed, although it was pretty clumsy. We referred to them as “Mr. Twitch and Captain Pickup Line” in retellings of the story throughout high school lol

*not the terminology he used in 2007

"Wanna come back to my place and play house? You can be the door, and I'll slam you." - Joe Barbaro

Is heaven missing an angel, because you've got nice cans!

It's the right community. I guess this would also work on !chat@beehaw.org

Is this Minecraft? Because I wanna make your bedrock.

"Can I smell your boots?"

"your hat doesn't look good, but you look alright" negging is weird. I once got "you look like Albert Einstein" it was a guy who wanted to talk about some charity with Einstein as their center piece(?). I am still unsure how I feel about that haha

"Do you want millions? Millions of my children?"