Asking where you are from is pretty normal conversation, especially if you have a noticeable accent. Asking where your parents/grandparents/etc are from is less common. Are you by chance not-white? Sometimes these sorts of questions have a race element to them
I think I look pretty white, tbh
ok, but are you? what's your ethnicity? Just wondering.
This is often a proxy for a different question.
And that question is "why isn't your skin the same colour as mine?"
Well, if he's from Canada (as I am, no hate!), the answer is "We get like 4 hours of sunlight per day here." I wear shades to block the glare of my own reflection in the snow.
It's also a form of othering. You are different and they are establishing why
they're trying to figure out your race or whatever
That's exactly what it is.
Light haired white people don't generally recieve this type of question.
They're either making conversation or racist, depending on context. Answering the country you're from if you're currently in that country is pretty odd.
But that is the answer to the question. I'm not understanding the alternative. If the person wants to ask, "What race are you?" They should ask using those words.
I can't recall a time ever needing to know anyone's race. So I've never asked this question in 50 years, but perhaps one day? Idk, seems like a potentially insensitive question.
I don't think being interested in the (ancestors') race of a co-worker is necessary racist. I worked with people with all kinds of cultural backgrounds and it might be just an interesting topic to talk about. If someone has family in Iran, Senegal or Indonesia that's definitely more interesting to me than a conversation about weather or last night's football game.
Personally when someone asks me where I'm from, I respond in order of:
A) if I'm in my home city, I tell them the province I grew up in (because I came from a small town I would never expect anyone to know, if it was a big city I'd say that.)
B) If I'm away from my home city in my home province, I tell them my home city.
C) if I'm away from my home province, I tell them my home province.
D) if I'm away from Canada I'll tell them I'm from Canada
E) if based on context it seems they're asking about my ethnic background, I tell them I'm some kind of western/northern European mutt.
Now obviously I'm white as hell and no accent, but OP is saying they're basically that as well, so I'm not sure why race would be the assumption for them either. I don't even know how I would respond if i asked someone at work where they're from and they answered Canada.
Sounds like the correct answer to the question is Newfoundland, if it isn’t the accent it is probably some regional colloquialisms.
When someone asks me where I am from I normally say the city / province. I would never answer Canada while I was in Canada having the conversation.
So are you autistic? Because the literal-mindedness of your answers and the lack of awareness of how to engage in small talk is telling. I say this as one on the spectrum myself; it took me a long time to understand this is just an attempt to establish social connections by finding points of commonality. "Oh, you're from Calgary? I used to live there, too! Did you know a store called Myth Games?" Neurotypical people are also waiting for you to ask the same things in return and often feel miffed if you don't show any curiosity about them.
Also autistic. I had the same thought about OP.
Before building my mask I was very similar (and probably pissed a lot of NTs off too lol).
I don't know if this applies to this kind of question though. If you ask someone where they're from and they say Canada and you want more you would say "what part" not start going up the generations
As a mixed third generation immigrant, I get this a lot. In my experience, most people want to know my ethnicity, but for some reason they never ask me that directly.
Because it's none of their business and it's a tad racist, and they know racism is bad but they don't want to look as bad people.
It's not racist to be interested in where somebody is from.
It is if you assume that someone is from somewhere else because they don't look like you.
It's not racist to ask about ethnicity.
It would be racist to ask about ethnicity and then discriminate based on the response.
I'm a white Australian and I get asked this all the time. Mostly they're just trying to make conversation and since most people at work are migrants it's a natural conversation starter. Sometimes they are looking to remind me that the only real Australians are the indigenous peoples and I am, therefore, British. This what you get labelled if you say your background is English/Irish lol. My favourite was being called British by a mixed German/Brazilian who insisted he was Spanish.
In countries with a lot of immigration and diversity I think it's natural for people to talk about this. I like hearing about what life was like for people in Tibet, or Myanmar, Eritrea, Cook Islands etc. I don't think it carries the same level of racist connotations as it used to. How are we supposed to have cultural exchange if we can't talk about our backgrounds?___
It's just a standard office getting to know you small talk thing. You'll get used to it.
FYI, they were looking for you to actually talk and engage with them, not a one word answer. Tell them what part of Canada, that your family was part of the Canada-US wars and locked the US's. And most importantly, ask them something in return...
Skating it once might be standard. But asking where the grandparents are from is kind of strange
Maybe, but they were probably thrown off or annoyed by his weird one word answer. Replying "Canada" when you're in Canada is just strange.
Yea but where are u from?
After the second time you should just respond "don't overthink it"
"Why do you ask?"
...
"Why do you feel entitled to an answer?"
...
They'll figure it out.
Random people care because they were taught to care. Scared people see anyone who looks different as a threat. It starts there.
I have a long time friend who complains about this kind of behavior. Friend is a Creek Indian living in the Muskogee Creek Nation in Oklahoma. That's about as native-born and indigenous as you can get.
Unfortunately, her skin is somewhat less than lily-white, and that just seems to bring out the dumbasses.
If you're now in Australia, it is polite to ask "where y'from" as a starter convo, as knowing who your mob are is part of getting to know you. An Aussie would find the answer [insert country name here] as pretty standoffish (sort of an "I don't want to talk about it or be friends with you" answer) but if they were determined to get to know you they might then ask patiently "where in Canada?" or ask about the part of Canada you might originate from, knowing it is a large place. This helps them to understand who you are and work better alongside you in big projects in future. Unfriendly people aren't really worth working with or helping out if the going gets tough.
Think of it this way: If you have spoken four words to someone "Canada" and "why do you ask?" they are less motivated to cover your shift. If they know you are from that cool place with several excellent bands and a beautiful landscape and you often chat about whales or whatever, they might try to help you out. Also, how cold and bleak your life would be without the occasional conversation with someone at least once a day. Many people live alone.
How do you first get to know your work colleagues? Ask about a sport or the weather? Or ask about something else? Is small talk and office acquaintances not a thing where you are from?
Seems like if the follow up question is "where are your parents from" they're really asking about genetic heritage
Why are you asking us instead of them? Surely they would know.
I've watched a lot of Canadian TV and worked with a lot of Canadians and the Newfy accent is pretty distinct, even in Canada. If you've just got a touch of it you might sound vaguely Irish or Scottish. That would explain why people are asking where you're from.
I was created within the bounds of the milky way galaxy.
Using local materials.
Newfoundland has a very particular accent, do you speak with a strong accent?
I don't make a big deal about it.It's just a small talk question like any other. I just answer that i'm half canadian, half tunisian. I was born in Canada but at 2 years old i lived in tunisia till 18 and went back to Canada
A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions
If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!
Looking for support?
Looking for a community?
~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~