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submitted 10 months ago by Anon518@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I was homeschooled previously with a small group of other children and we fart in class all the time.

Now I'm in public school for high school and no one is farting. I was very sheltered and public school is like a whole new world for me, so I don't know what the norms are. I've been holding it in but my stomach hurts and it leaks out anyway.

I don't understand how there are so many more people in high school and yet zero farts...

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[-] TORFdot0@lemmy.world 253 points 10 months ago
  1. Go to the bathroom between passing periods and let one out.

  2. Improve your diet, don’t drink carbonated drinks.

  3. I can’t believe I’m having this interaction on Lemmy

[-] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 33 points 10 months ago

Figure out if you are lactose intolerant and don't have any milk or dairy products before going to school or during the day ..... have the cheese at the end of the school day.

Exercise and walk lots .... not intensive just keep moving. The digestive system works better when the body is moving ... the muscle movement especially your abdomen literally pumps and drives the digestive system.

The longer and more often you sit still, the more likely all that content will just sit and take longer to pass. The longer it sits, the more likely you'll build up gas, more gas, more farting.

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[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 151 points 10 months ago

yeah, you dont know how to act in public. youll pick it up fast.

no farting.

[-] Anon518@sh.itjust.works 26 points 10 months ago

So everyone's able to hold it in? Where do they fart?

[-] hoshikarakitaridia@sh.itjust.works 92 points 10 months ago

Either they hold it in, they fart silently, they go to the toilet, they do it where there's not a lot of ppl and try to hide it, etc.

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[-] DanglingFury@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

You discreetly carpet bomb the hallway between classes like a gentleman. If the smell catches up, then look around non chalantly to pretend your looking to see who farted.

[-] Zorg@lemmings.world 27 points 10 months ago

Depending on the chair and how you position your butt cheeks, you can sometimes sneak out a fart silently.

[-] Anon518@sh.itjust.works 10 points 10 months ago

The sound is not the issue. I haven't smelled anyone farting.

[-] originalucifer@moist.catsweat.com 70 points 10 months ago

only homeschooled kids farts smell. sorry.

[-] obinice@lemmy.world 45 points 10 months ago

Do you think they everybody's flatulence smells bad or even noticeable all the time? This is not the case.

If yours is particularly bad and common enough that you're finding it to be an issue, you may need to address your diet, and perhaps check to see if you're lactose intolerant too, just to be on the safe side.

[-] Anon518@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

Ok, thank you.

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[-] nudnyekscentryk@szmer.info 119 points 10 months ago

This is satire, right? I want to believe homeschooled kids are not as bad as they are often pictured

[-] frickineh@lemmy.world 38 points 10 months ago

Having seen how some evangelical adults act (and eat) after being homeschooled, you could tell me this whole thread was 100% true and I'd believe it. I'm not saying it is, but combine social awkwardness with the hot garbage food fundie women post on Instagram, it's feasible. Or, on the flipside, some of the more granola homeschool families I've seen would also be believable in this.

[-] Anon518@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

Homeschooled kids are bad because they fart?

[-] nudnyekscentryk@szmer.info 71 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

it's a common argument against homeschooling that kids who have no exposure to peers in a school setting end up with poor social skills. unless this post is satire, which I am like 99% sure it must be, this seems to be a case of that

edit: I'm in no way saying it's the strongest or the most important argument against homeschooling

[-] Cinner@lemmy.world 12 points 10 months ago

If you act towards everyone else how you act towards your siblings (or parents if you're an only child) and they don't take you to meet up and play often with other homeschooled kids, then yes you're going to be weird.

It's a very accurate stereotype. Have you ever seen an unsocialized dog around other dogs who have been properly socialized? And it takes so many more years to learn human socialization.

  • Former homeschooled kid
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[-] punkwalrus@lemmy.world 60 points 10 months ago

It's a myriad of issues.

  1. Farts are not considered to be socially acceptable, and thus one loses "social status" if one farts. So at an early age, you learn to hold it in. This has been going on since antiquity, as it is the source of the oldest humor seen via graffiti.
  2. You can get in trouble if you fart (I guess because of #1). I knew of a few times someone farted, and the teacher sent them out for punishment for "disrupting class."
  3. People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.
[-] mp3@lemmy.ca 31 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)
  1. People learn to fart silently, usually through experimentation and training to avoid item #1.

And then the blame game starts, like a game of hot potato of social standing.

[-] chaorace@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 10 months ago

"He who smelt it dealt it, and I am no blacksmith good sir"

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[-] angrystego@lemmy.world 55 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

If you need to fart very often, you may need to change your diet. Look up food that causes gas and try to watch your body after you eat it to find out what makes you fart and what's ok.

[-] stirner@lemmy.ml 43 points 10 months ago

Everyone does, they're just quiet about it.

[-] skybreaker@lemmy.world 38 points 10 months ago

Honestly, if you can't hold your farts until you go to the bathroom without it hurting, you might need to get on a medication or something. It's extremely rude to do that around other people. What would you do on an airplane?

[-] crazyCat@sh.itjust.works 15 points 10 months ago

My relative was a stewardess, and she said the ups and downs of many flights a day (domestic, multiple small flights) combined with airline food would give them all gas.

They had a maneuver they called “crop dusting “ whereby they would release their gases during nonchalant walks up and down the aisle.

This helped disperse the fumes rather than leaving them concentrated.

[-] wahming@monyet.cc 21 points 10 months ago

You call it disperse the fumes, I call it maximising the victims.

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[-] ryan@the.coolest.zone 37 points 10 months ago

Somewhat unrelated, but I do find it funny that farts aren't considered acceptable, but sneezes and coughs are. Like, farts have an extra barrier in the form of your clothing (assuming you're not at a nudist colony or bathhouse) and won't make other people sick. I guess it's just because they're stinky.

I vote to normalize farting with an "excuse me", and saying "bless you" to people when they fart.

[-] StephniBefni@lemmy.world 31 points 10 months ago

Much easier to not fart than it is not to sneeze, and sneezes don't smell like shit.

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[-] cucumber_sandwich@lemmy.world 24 points 10 months ago

It's much easier to suppress farting than the involuntary reflexes of coughing and sneezing.

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[-] AnneBonny@lemmy.dbzer0.com 31 points 10 months ago

You just need some practice farting quietly.

[-] Anon518@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

The sound is much less important than the smell.

[-] AnneBonny@lemmy.dbzer0.com 35 points 10 months ago

if no one can hear you fart, no one knows who is responsible

[-] Isoprenoid@programming.dev 21 points 10 months ago

no one knows who is responsible

That's not correct. We all know that first to smell it, dealt it.

[-] MrJameGumb@lemmy.world 34 points 10 months ago

This is generally true except in the controversial case of "he who denied it supplied it" which set a new precedent for fart identification worldwide

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[-] sloppy_diffuser@sh.itjust.works 13 points 10 months ago

"You smelled it you dealt it" kept everyone quite when I was in school so long as there is plausible deniability for the source.

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[-] Horsey@kbin.social 29 points 10 months ago

Your homeschool diet has a lot to do with it.

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[-] Dio9sys 24 points 10 months ago

I was homeschooled until highschool as well. The best I can tell you is to do bathroom runs occasionally and fart it up in the bathroom. If it becomes a serious social concern then I would look into taking a couple beano pills with your breakfast.

Good luck, and godspeed 🫡 your first while in public school is gonna be hard and weird while you learn how to be normal, but all things (including gas) pass with time.

Pro tip that I didn't learn until uncomfortably late: if a dude has a cool haircut, even if you really wanna feel his hair, do NOT ask to touch his hair unless he does that freshly shaved head thing where he asks people to feel how fuzzy it is. Trust me. Comparing your hair textures and feels is fine among siblings but classmates consider it to be deeply weird.

[-] EdanGrey@sh.itjust.works 22 points 10 months ago

It sounds like you need a change of diet ...

[-] cheeseburger@lemmy.ca 21 points 10 months ago

If holding in a fart makes your stomach hurt then you need to shit. It eventually hurts to hold your piss and shit in, but then we use the washroom instead of filling our pants. Same thing, imo.

Have a shit, stop farting all over the place.

[-] tyrefyre@sh.itjust.works 14 points 10 months ago

Lol what? You can still need to fart but not be able to take a shit. Even so much that it hurts.

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[-] vext01@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 10 months ago

Have a shit, stop farting all over the place.

An idiom for life.

[-] HootinNHollerin@slrpnk.net 17 points 10 months ago* (last edited 10 months ago)

Let er rip. Be the hero of the oppressed. Freedom for farts or no freedom at all. Ass Gas or Pass playboi. If she don’t love your gas she don’t love you at all. Huff it or beat it honey. Beans is life

[-] cupcakezealot 12 points 10 months ago

Avert your eyes children. He may take on other forms!

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this post was submitted on 27 Dec 2023
256 points (100.0% liked)

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