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Polyamory rule - helpful infographic (lemmy.blahaj.zone)

submitted 1 year ago by RothyBuyak to c/196

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[-] saigot@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago

I like this, but I don't like calling them affairs when everyone involved knows about it.

[-] Sekoia 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I'm totally cool with polyamory and its variants, but this infographic definitely paints monoamory as a lesser choice which is cringe (it also says "idealized monoamory" instead of just monoamory which I don't get).

Don't judge other's choices, doesn't matter if their choice is polyamory or monoamory.

[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 7 points 1 year ago

I agree with not judging. I think monoamory is just labeled as "idealized" because it's the current societal standard. Some people who don't mesh with monogamy may not know there's another option, and so it can be helpful to say that monogamy is only just that, idealized, and not actually necessarily better.

[-] Kushan@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago

Egalitarian Polyamory working pretty well for me 😊

[-] LizardKing@sh.itjust.works 15 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This post reeks of incel fantasy.

[-] SteveXVII 17 points 1 year ago

They are just people living their lives and doing it with consent, except for the cheating part, but that is just shitty behaviour.

[-] RothyBuyak 11 points 1 year ago

Why? Wtf

[-] LizardKing@sh.itjust.works 11 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

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[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 12 points 1 year ago

Yeah, no. It doesn't read like that at all. All it reads like is "there are a bunch of relationship dynamics, and they're not all going to work equally well for everyone. Here's a handy overview!".

I could maaaaybe agree with using "idealized" monogamy, but I don't really agree because, in our society, monogamy IS idealized as the standard, and if you practice anything else, it's the weird thing. In that regard you could say it may be "attacking" monogamy, but I'd say it's simply pointing out that not everyone has to fall into the one relationship type that is most common.

[-] LizardKing@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

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[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 10 points 1 year ago

There's nothing saying cheating is good in the this. And honestly yeah, cheating is kinda weird to be on this, but I think it's just a statement saying "this is a type of relationship, a type with one person cheating on the other." It's as neutral towards cheating as it is towards anything else.

If we want to nitpick, "open relationship" uses the word "affair" which has a lot of negative context, and so open relationships must be bad right? I don't see this as endorsing anything.

[-] LizardKing@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 year ago

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[-] Ookami38@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 year ago

Look, I think it'd be better without the cheating bit. I'll give you that it's definitely a weird inclusion. Pretty sure I already said as much to someone else, if not directly to you. The rest of it, though? There's a lot of nit picking and stretching to make it at all misogynistic or incel related.

As for imagery, I think we're interpreting different things from the symbols. The broken heart and the frown represents not being in a relationship, despite being in love. The sunglasses aren't supposed to represent coolness, but sneaking around, being 'shady'. Overall could it be more clear? Sure. Could it just remove cheating and be a lot more agreeable? Sure. But with just a bit of contemplation it's really not saying anything unreasonable.

[-] the_best_nerd 3 points 1 year ago

me when media literacy is hard. :^(

seriously, the last thing - relationship anarchy, is very rarely (if ever) supported by incels/misogynists in general, because they want control over women. relationship anarchy is very much not about control. if we're to say that the imagery is indicating which is better, it probably would indicate relationship anarchy is best - given the whole everyone is smiling and look at all those hearts deal. not to mention, as the other commenter said - the shades indicate shadiness. there is a distinct air of it being bad in the long run to both scenarios in which secrets are actively being kept.