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Polyamory rule - helpful infographic
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 04 Jul 2023
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This post reeks of incel fantasy.
They are just people living their lives and doing it with consent, except for the cheating part, but that is just shitty behaviour.
Why? Wtf
Yeah, no. It doesn't read like that at all. All it reads like is "there are a bunch of relationship dynamics, and they're not all going to work equally well for everyone. Here's a handy overview!".
I could maaaaybe agree with using "idealized" monogamy, but I don't really agree because, in our society, monogamy IS idealized as the standard, and if you practice anything else, it's the weird thing. In that regard you could say it may be "attacking" monogamy, but I'd say it's simply pointing out that not everyone has to fall into the one relationship type that is most common.
There's nothing saying cheating is good in the this. And honestly yeah, cheating is kinda weird to be on this, but I think it's just a statement saying "this is a type of relationship, a type with one person cheating on the other." It's as neutral towards cheating as it is towards anything else.
If we want to nitpick, "open relationship" uses the word "affair" which has a lot of negative context, and so open relationships must be bad right? I don't see this as endorsing anything.
Look, I think it'd be better without the cheating bit. I'll give you that it's definitely a weird inclusion. Pretty sure I already said as much to someone else, if not directly to you. The rest of it, though? There's a lot of nit picking and stretching to make it at all misogynistic or incel related.
As for imagery, I think we're interpreting different things from the symbols. The broken heart and the frown represents not being in a relationship, despite being in love. The sunglasses aren't supposed to represent coolness, but sneaking around, being 'shady'. Overall could it be more clear? Sure. Could it just remove cheating and be a lot more agreeable? Sure. But with just a bit of contemplation it's really not saying anything unreasonable.
I'm not trying that hard lmao. It's just not as cut and dry as you seem to think it is. The symbolism used has a few interpretations.
I'm also not trying that hard, because I've already admitted multiple times that I think it'd be a better comic without the cheating bit.
The only thing I'm defending, or I suppose attacking, is the notion that it's somehow misogynistic and incel-y.
me when media literacy is hard. :^(
seriously, the last thing - relationship anarchy, is very rarely (if ever) supported by incels/misogynists in general, because they want control over women. relationship anarchy is very much not about control. if we're to say that the imagery is indicating which is better, it probably would indicate relationship anarchy is best - given the whole everyone is smiling and look at all those hearts deal. not to mention, as the other commenter said - the shades indicate shadiness. there is a distinct air of it being bad in the long run to both scenarios in which secrets are actively being kept.
Yeah you already nailed it. This gives me incel vibes too
That’s just like… your opinion man
Banned the guy fucking w/ u sorry you had to deal with that
Whose standard?
Human psychology doesn't have a standard.
Monogamy is just one of a wide range of social arrangements that have existed all throughout human history, and continue to exist.
see: distribution of monogamy
Personally, I've been in multiple partner relationships. Are they perfect? No, absolutely not. But neither were some of the monogamous relationships I've been in.
I think the comic is a little off too, and I agree with you about how it portrays cheating, but it doesn't make sense to shit on all forms of relationship that you don't agree with.
Yeeeah there's nothing in human psychology saying we should be monogamous. You just don't like polyamory, and that's fine, but it doesn't take too long to see that monogamy isn't, like, THE way it should be.
Throughout history, and even to this day, you have a wide range of relationship types, but there has ALWAYS been non-monogamy. From kings spreading their seed far and wide, to people just fucking around, and people cheating, and even today with religions such as mormonism.
The existence of it throughought history pretty well makes it clear that it's not just a modern thing, and not at all based on biology or psychology. To be clear, none of the examples I mentioned are without their issues. Power structures in religion, or lies and secrecy with cheating and sleeping around. All that shit sucks. But you can be polyamorous without ANY of that.
Monogamy is the SOCIETAL standard. Primarily due to puritanical views as the country developed. As more and more sex education becomes available, and more knowledge is learned, the taboo-ness of polyamory is losing a lot of traction, because it is unnatural to a lot of people.
It's hard to imagine there's one person in existence who can meet every one of my physical, emotional, intellectual, etc. needs, and even harder to imagine I could be that to someone. I also can't dream of EXPECTING that from someone. That's a lot of pressure, and I think it's a lot more natural to say, "hey I love you. But I also love this other person, for other reasons."
Some people make that work, and it's AWESOME for them, but I think that it truly working, and not just working because "society says we should be together so I guess we'll tick around even though the resentment grows daily." are MUCH smaller than the number of people who tries to make it work because that's all they know.
And to be clear, before you loop back around I Still think that cheating should be removed from the comic because yes, sleeping around without your partner knowing is bad because it violates their trust.