I'm pooping next to my toilet, inside this wall. The tp roll is in my belly.
I have simultaneously merged with my desk. My bowels have been displaced and are now bisected with bamboo. I feel simultaneously ripped apart and yet stuck and solid. Every point of my being is as though it has been engulfed in flames. My existence and identity has now become insufferable pain. I feel an impending sense of doom at a foreign body now lodged inside of me.
There are no wounds for me to bleed from and I cannot gasp for air to scream. My spinal cord has been severed and I feel hot prickles on my cheeks and my ears feel as though they are being stuffed with cotton. An internal white hot pressure feeling erupts up my now-fractured spine until it reaches the back of my head and radiates towards my forehead. My peripheral vision looks like static and everything appears to shake. I am unable to make sense of anything and everything goes dark and still.
U killed me op wow
welp, I'm not sitting on a tram anymore
I'm now having an uncomfortable moment with the airline passenger in seat 26A.
I am now shitting in the sink.
I move into a space occupied by my desk, thus taking 3d10 force damage before moving to the next unoccupied space.
I am now sitting on the wing of a plane that is about to take off. Gonna try to Tom Cruise it. Will post updates soon.
Does the cat on my tummy come with me? If not Cheddar says that this expirement violates the cat sitting treaty of 1669
We only made that damn treaty because they promised to chase off the rats during the last bout of the Plague. We've had it twice more since then, lazy furballs.
I telefrag the guy sitting next to me on the train
Fall out of my chair, but otherwise unaffected as I end up on the floor.
I'm reading this while laying on my right side in my bed. So I suppose I bounce on the bed then. Seems fun!
I am now sitting in the chair next to me. This is mildly inconvenient.
I'm standing in a box. I am now a cat.
I hover briefly in the air, next to my bed, and hold up a sign that says "uh oh" before I fall a couple feet to the ground onto carpet. I might hit my head on the nightstand, but I feel like I got off easy compared to most other people.
hovers in air next to sofa, looks down, looks at camera, holds up sign saying "uh oh" and plummets two feet to the floor creating a puff of dust on impact
Hmm, well the railing of my bed would well... be railing me.
I'm suddenly on the outside of a bus on the motorway. Probably dead or at least badly injured.
Well now I'm sitting in a different chair. And I don't like that chair as much. 😡
Taking a crap in the hallway
Woah, lemmy is for shiters.
Not much, I'm just lying on the other side of the bed. Although my pillow has been replaced with a garbage bag.
I would be spooning my dog who is on the other end of the couch. If this was a competition I’d submit my outcome for winner or at least most wholesome. Some of y’all’s are definitely more funny though.
I'm sitting on top of the bin of laundry I need to fold.
I’ll have a window seat at 30k feet and the person seated to my left will be free fallin’ for a while.
I live in the wall now.
I'm european, so it doesn't affect me at all.
I would be rather sad since I would be sitting next ro my chair on the floor instead of un my chair. My coffee would also be out of reach. I would be sad.
I am one with my bookshelves. Unfortunately the Steam Deck hasn't fared well.
If this involves some kind of adjustment of orientation, then I will be doing an early Father Christmas act and coming down from where I have appeared halfway up the chimney (being generous about how wide that chimney is). If it doesn't, then I am going to be part of the brickwork - except for my guts and arse, which will rot in place in the chimney over the next few weeks.
I've merged into my bed and finally have an excuse to not get off of it.
Fusioning with the atoms of the wall next to me. So parts would stay me, others would just transform into very high density stone or something. The meat may fall off or needs to be cut off, luckily my head would be completely inside the wall.
I have either bisected the wall, or the wall has bisected me.
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