I recently was in Scotland with friends and we had fish and chips for dinner one night. We did have vinegar but I also brought some 10 varieties of hot sauce with me from the states. I can tell you with all confidence the sauce was gone the next day because it made the fish edible.

I also had haggis and loved it because it was seasoned, and in general, I noticed all of the good British food was, surprise, not from the English region.

What are you people doing to yourselves

Do you mean Indian food or actual British food?

Spotted dick is tasty

My grandma is an Anglophile, and always staunchly defends "British Food" by sayinf things like "London has the best restaurants, I can get excellent Lebanses or Indian food there at any time".

the blandest thing on the menu

I recall reading somewhere that a lot of prepared food in the UK has to be packaged to be bland due to food health and safety laws. I know the laws are a lot stricter but on preservative and additives but does this include more general spices as well?

British food is bland but nothing compared to the stuff in offer in the American Midwest.