Woke up at 7am with barely any rest, due to nightmares about being in hospital and having a heart attack.

"I should drink caffeine again. None of this decaf crap is doing me any good!" I thought to myself. So I went to the cupboard, and made myself a strong coffee to break my sobriety with. Next thing I know, far from keeping me awake and alert - I fell asleep so deeply - that I woke up at 11:45am all disoriented, seeing fractals and visuals.

Needless to say, I have Health Anxiety. It's really just a fear of death, at the end of the day. I know that therapy and medication won't help me, as it'll just cause me to become obsessed with medication side-effects. The only thing that will help me is to accept death, and live every single day as if it were my last. Chase after my goals and aspirations like a ram-raider. Hurry up and live my life, and live it Fast - because my mind is still drenched in fear, excuses and procrastination. I've got 1 year worth of food, and technically 30 years worth of my prescription meds. I could survive a nuclear war, if I needed to. So cost of living is no excuse, either. (I might need a new passport, though...)

Kids all went with their grandmother for the day so we are getting so many jobs done! Still haven't got to the lawn yet, but we can see the carpet so I know we are making progress.

On a related point, anyone got tips on removing hundreds of stickers from a polished wooden floor?

Nice and sunny out here in Welly. Planning to head out to Palmers soon to buy some herbs and chilli plants, and sort out my little balcony garden.