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[-] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 208 points 1 year ago

I genuinely think more people need to take a step back and look at themselves, like really look at themselves, before they start shit-talking other people.

It's fine to not want to be an athlete, or to be bleeding-heart volunteer, but those who do put that effort in are naturally going to be the ones who get the most attention. That's life.

[-] ReluctantMuskrat@lemmy.world 28 points 1 year ago

All true but the dysfunction starts here with making someone an enemy simply because they turned down your romantic advance.

[-] Th4tGuyII@kbin.social 26 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

True, but it's all part of the same picture.
Anon's friend assumed this girl would say yes, because he's obviously the best guy in his whole universe, so he took major offense when she said no (cause she can see what he's actually like).

Introspection would've made it a bit more obvious why she rejected him off the bat, even without the other guy getting involved... but narcissists rarely introspect.

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[-] Mac@mander.xyz 27 points 1 year ago

I think that people are so quick to judge others because they're afraid to look inside themselves. If they did they would see that we are all the same.

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[-] Grayox@lemmy.ml 25 points 1 year ago

"Remove the log from your eye before you try to remove a twig from your brother's"

[-] ChickenLadyLovesLife@lemmy.world 23 points 1 year ago

Seems like those biblical people had a really tough time with forestry.

[-] pdxfed@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

It's clearly the well-worn "put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others." Air travel in the middle east was a nightmare.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 6 points 1 year ago

It is because donkeys are notorious bad pilots, especially during biblical times.

[-] vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 year ago

No, this doesn't help. A specific person you care for can't be diminished into that general "attention" thing.

So you look at yourself more critically. Then something like what's described in the post happens, and then you still feel pain, but it's dull and you can't locate it, so to say, because in the universe you imagine after such advice you'll find plenty of reasons you are flawed and nobody should look at you.

And then after some time you understand that the pain is there because really everybody has flaws, "that other guy" included. It's just that you haven't been accepted and "that other guy" has been. Somehow your flaws were worse and your advantages not as significant as those of "that other guy".

And - everybody wants to be accepted, without being the best and the coolest. Just for being a human.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 12 points 1 year ago

People do need these things, but it’s both. Part of stepping back and introspecting should be learning that you aren’t to everyone’s tastes no matter what you do. You could be an active volunteer athlete and charming as hell and get rejected because your life sounds exhausting to someone you like. That’s not bad, that’s life. Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.

[-] vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org 5 points 1 year ago

Be who you want to be and accept that not everyone wants that person.

That'd be easy when rejected outright. Not when your contacts with the person you like have made you lower your guard and start believing that they may accept you, and then they just ... throw you out.

I'm starting to appreciate the traditional way, where you know whom you can meet and possibly marry and whom you can't. It's a cultural thing, and some people's upbringing is just incompatible with mine. I wouldn't ever do anything like that to a person who'd like me even if I didn't like them, it's like throwing out a dog or a cat.

A bit like those societies where lynching is normal - if it's a crowd doing it, then it's not a crime. So having grown up in many families, girls and boys think that if for some reason another side seems weak or ill or depressed and in general not fun, that requires no effort on their side, just look for someone more fun, no humanity required. I fail to see how such people are going to create families of their own and have children, though.

[-] captainlezbian@lemmy.world 10 points 1 year ago

You’re positively comparing something you do to lynching. Above all else that’s why you’re single. Well the reason behind it is.

And you’re not describing something desirable. Like looking for someone fun may not result in something great but looking for people you feel good around who want the same thing as you does result in amazing things.

I’m happily married. A lot of people don’t want what I offer, but plenty do. My wife does.

Humanity is irrelevant here. What about the humanity of the other people. Willing association is key. Divorce is sacred

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[-] flerp@lemm.ee 7 points 1 year ago

If you act in real life in any way similar to this comment... yeah it's your personality and you'll keep getting rejected as soon as people see this side of you. Work on positivity. Positivity attracts people, overwhelming negativity like this attitude you are displaying here repulses them. Of course there are exceptions but like it or not, it's a fact for the majority of people.

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[-] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 123 points 1 year ago

If someone calls a person 'normie' they are probably an idiot.

[-] Daqu@feddit.de 63 points 1 year ago
[-] vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org 22 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That word is used to express the feeling you get when some better socialized, but not particularly smart or competent or educated or understanding people disrespect your hobbies/expertise/opinions/feelings while you don't disrespect theirs.

I use it sometimes. More often in periods after once again forcing myself to believe that maybe I shouldn't look at people this way and maybe I'm wrong, and then getting wounded once again.

[-] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago

Just call em what they are. Ignorant.

[-] vacuumflower@lemmy.sdf.org 10 points 1 year ago

Not quite the word. I'm often ignorant too. It's rather about ignorance coupled with arrogance and habit of underlining one's better socialization.

So calling someone a normie kinda implies that they are proud of being a normie, they just would use other words to say it.

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[-] Heavybell@lemmy.world 15 points 1 year ago

Ehh, I mean I don't hate it as a term. Most of my friends are online, my hobbies mostly are too. Unlike 4channers tho I'm happy with my life, have a good job, etc. Still, I might refer to people who go hiking, watch Marvel movies, and so on as normies, or at least "normal people".

[-] RobertOwnageJunior@lemmy.world 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In my book it's just a more modern way to express how special you are. When most people that use the term are gamers, or adjacent, which isn't special anymore by any stretch of the imagination. Like, if you're someone who is hardcore into niche hobbies like freeclimbing/bouldering or building replicas of famuos buildings out of ice cream, that's fine. But if you're sitting at home, playing CS and shitposting on social media, come on dude...

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[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 14 points 1 year ago

Such an NPC thing to say

[-] clara@feddit.uk 4 points 1 year ago

yep, checks out. i'm an idiot. 🙂

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[-] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 121 points 1 year ago

Or just find a girl more into video games and hanging out than soup kitchen volunteering. Every girl isn't a perfect fit yknow.

[-] Daft_ish@lemmy.world 73 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Or just like, don't focus in on one girl. Especially if she already said she's not interested. Try lots things. Meet lots of different people. Get a real feel for what you want, what actually works, and stick with that.

[-] RealFknNito@lemmy.world 25 points 1 year ago

Exactly. Chances are you'll find a better fit of a partner if you go do the things you like. Anime convention? Weeb gf. Oddities store/events? Goth gf. This stuff is easy people.

[-] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 18 points 1 year ago

Don't you know how many terminally online incels there are compared to gamer girls that are into those types?

Most girls you can kind of get into gaming if they aren't already, by finding the games they enjoy.

But if gaming is the only interest you have, the conversations will quickly come to an end.

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[-] Soleos@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

But you have to save those girls for when you need to spew toxic abusive shit at them for daring to be present in a space you feel you have ownership over. /S

https://youtu.be/46ms4LAhdrE?si=iewRBXdPj07Mo7e0

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[-] AnneBoleynTudor@startrek.website 76 points 1 year ago

Anyone who says about another person, "I hope s/he gets abused so that I'm proven correct," is a gigantic piece of shit who will never find real love. And doesn't deserve to, until they get huge amounts of therapy and improve as a human.

[-] Ilovethebomb@lemm.ee 49 points 1 year ago

4channers are surprisingly self aware sometimes.

[-] Bruno_Myers@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

i think it's almost worse that way, because they know what they're doing is wrong but they keep doing it.

[-] Rhoeri@lemmy.world 20 points 1 year ago
[-] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 45 points 1 year ago

If you don't know, it's you

[-] NotSoCoolWhip@lemmy.world 39 points 1 year ago

Person not afflicted by porn addiction and not terminally online

[-] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 11 points 1 year ago

Regularly touches grass, not a khhv

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 10 points 1 year ago

Why is society always putting unreasonable expectations on me.

[-] Agent641@lemmy.world 5 points 1 year ago

Is not desensitized by the most gruesome images known to man, does not think only in memes

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[-] morphballganon@lemmy.world 8 points 1 year ago

The Harry Potter books call them muggles

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this post was submitted on 29 Oct 2023
1140 points (100.0% liked)

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