In fairness, if he had said something, it would have just been a lie.

There must be no more room in hell

He won't say what's wrong, he doesn't say much of anything anymore. He spends most of his time staring into the void.

I sure hope it's cancer.

That fucker is actually alive??

Bad reporting. Nothing is confirmed or backed up.

Has anyone who isn’t a paid stooge seen the man in person? Are you telling me that no journalist has snapped a pic of the turtle in a wheelchair leaving the hospital or arriving home?

“McConnell has released a statement”? Bullshit.

Is it karma? It’s karma, isn’t it.

He was sucked through a time vortex into the past! That's why all the new photos of him in the articles about his discharge look like old photos that were taken months ago! Thankfully while in the vortex he was able to find and consume his younger self, gaining the strength to rule for another century.