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I’m not saying get a loveless marriage to have children, but do get in a loveless marriage to save on taxes, pool resources, living separately, not having sex, like roommates. I'd be playing the system.

Am I broken?

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[-] Transform2942@lemmy.ml 61 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

I sort of did this once.

I don't know if I would exactly recommend it but if you do, work out a prenup with them first.

It's EXTREMELY important to work out the sort of details about how things will be divided and unwound in advance

[-] TheLeadenSea@sh.itjust.works 33 points 2 weeks ago

Isn't it called a marriage of convenience? Usually those are done for immigration purposes, but it could be other conveniences too

[-] thagoat@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 weeks ago

Yes it is. Came here to say this.

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 30 points 2 weeks ago* (last edited 2 weeks ago)

You're not broken.

The world's broken and you're coping.

[-] eldavi@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 weeks ago

i was going to say this.

forcing us to cope is why the epstein class is able to do so much bad shit to us.

[-] manuallybreathing@lemmy.ml 24 points 2 weeks ago

Getting married for love was imo, a brief fad, and a gross perversion of marriage, it's always been about wealth and inheritance

i cant make a more articulate point rn sorry

[-] the_abecedarian@piefed.social 20 points 2 weeks ago

You're reacting to the increasing costs of the means of basic existence. In a way it's rational, though going as far as marriage is a big commitment. If you found someone who felt exactly the way you do and is willing to marry you for the same reasons, I don't see anything wrong with going through with it. You'd definitely want a prenuptual agreement in case it doesn't work out, though.

It might be easier to live with friends or family and pool resources with them, though ofc it wouldn't be the same tax benefit. Maybe talk to a professional accountant to learn if you have ways to save on taxes even without getting married.

[-] Semi_Hemi_Demigod@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Having been in the poly community, pooling resources without some kind of contract is going to end messy.

[-] UnderpantsWeevil@lemmy.world 17 points 2 weeks ago

Marriage, as a romantic notion, is about demonstrating a lifelong commitment to another person.

Marriage, as a legal institution, is about creating an economic incentive for intergenerational land ownership among the government-favored ethnic group.

I might suggest that you, at a bare minimum, like the other person even if you're not romantically fixated on them. The marriage process comingles assets and incomes in a way that's very difficult to unwind over time. Idk if I'd consider you "broken" for thinking about it. But you might want to reconsider what you're getting into, especially if there's someone other than your prospective partner who does have a romantic interest on one (or, fuck it, both) of you.

For folks who are married, the joke has been made a thousand times "We should have done this when we were poorer". And I even have a friend who did a court-house wedding, months in advance of the family celebration, just to get the tax rebate sooner.

But, it's a big decision. You're sharing credit as a single household. Depending on the state, your partner can have all sorts of medical and legal authority that constrains you. And if you don't even live with the person you're married to? The economic benefits slide off quite a bit.

[-] dingus@lemmy.world 13 points 2 weeks ago

Is that not technically the legal purpose of marriage to begin with???

[-] IWW4@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 weeks ago

I would do a lot of research on the how much money you would be saving by doing that.

Other than the health insurance aspect you can pool resources with someone and not be married.

What do you mean by living separately, as in different bedrooms in the same house.

[-] marcie@lemmy.ml 7 points 2 weeks ago

I think it's generally smart to marry someone you've been living with for more than 2 years. If you don't like that idea why are you dating them still?

[-] Melobol@lemmy.ml 6 points 2 weeks ago

Your idea is as old as marriage for love.
No one will stop you, and in today's world it is even easier to 'get away' with it. If you are hetero you could even marry a same-sex person that way potential babies as problem are out of the window. I'm assuming you don't want kids, and you won't change your mind? That's the only safe way to do it.

[-] lama@lemmy.world 6 points 2 weeks ago

I know at least like 3 friends/couples who married due to finances/health insurance. I think in all cases they probably would have married anyway but the timing of the marriage was for financial reasons.

[-] Malyca@lemmy.zip 6 points 2 weeks ago

No? Lots of people do that. Love isn't for everyone.

[-] RotatingParts@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 weeks ago

You don't have to get married to share resources, just live together. Before you do, make sure the "sharing resources" is clearly spelled out and agreed to. Also check state laws to see if there is a minimum amount of time of living together when the home is both of yours (in that one can't kick out the other). Some states will declare you married if you live together for a certain amount of time. Be aware of how your state handles that especially if you don't want to be "surprised" married.

[-] Eat_Your_Paisley@lemmy.world 4 points 2 weeks ago

There isn't enough tax relief out there to make it worth having a roomate.

[-] belated_frog_pants@beehaw.org 4 points 2 weeks ago
[-] andallthat@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

If the other person feels the same about it and if you trust them and you are good friends and....

Come to think of it, to make this work in the long run, you need basically the same ingredients as a "regular" marriage.

[-] AdolfSchmitler@lemmy.world 3 points 2 weeks ago

Im literally looking into a courthouse wedding to get my partner on my health insurance. We've been together 8 years, we love each other regardless of a government certificate.

[-] ryathal@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 week ago
  1. Marriage generally doesn't result in tax savings, you'd need an extremely specific scenario for that to be true.
  2. Marriage is the most legally significant thing most people will do in their life except die, it's expensive and time consuming to undo if you want to later.
  3. Marriage gives real rights to the other person, just because you treat it like roommates doesn't change that. It's complicated to prevent a spouse from inheritance or medical decisions. Community property states could make you liable for their debts.
  4. If it's just for health insurance, try to get coverage without marriage. It's probably easier to go the marriage route, but it's sometimes possible to get exemptions or companies that allow a non married domestic partner.
[-] tigermountain@lemmy.world 1 points 1 week ago

Might make sense these days, just dont have children.

this post was submitted on 04 Aug 2026
57 points (100.0% liked)

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