“I had sex with your…”

I know where the gold is!

when I came to from getting my wisdom teeth out I said "you guys stole my teeth!"

My docs had a bit of fun with me, after gassing me up a bit they turned on Tina turners 'what's love got to do with it' turned around to give a look and a grin.

fade to black...

" hey you... glad you're awake...."

haha ...couldn't resist sorry.

My best line was when my wife tried being funny and asked "did you turn the stove off?" My response was "no" apparently and she actually called her friend to go check. I was just trying to rile her up like she was trying with me.

My god, it's full of starsszzzz

"Nobody better touch my stuff..."

Good luck OP, I certainly hope your username is NOT relevant in this case.

"The code is burned onto the back of my left kidney. If I die, be a hero."

"I want my last words to be funny, so try not to laugh."

I'm going under on Monday to get my ankle put back together. I'm totally using stuff that I found here.