150
submitted 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago) by inari@piefed.zip to c/globalnews@lemmy.zip
top 22 comments
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[-] FrankFrankson@lemmy.world 67 points 1 week ago

What tipped them off? Was it when Iran broke off all peace talks and said they would keep the straight closed? Gosh these wallstreet fellas are smart!

[-] Foni@piefed.zip 55 points 1 week ago

Translation: People who work on Wall Street are slow as hell.

[-] swearengen@sopuli.xyz 28 points 1 week ago

Perpetual optimists as long as the guy in power has an (R) next to his name.

If this happened under Biden the market would have freaked the fuck out.

[-] Frozengyro@lemmy.world 8 points 1 week ago

I mean it did freak out at first, but line must go up

[-] SeductiveTortoise@piefed.social 11 points 1 week ago

If you want to speed them up, you've got to open the windows first.

[-] Clutter@sh.itjust.works 28 points 1 week ago

What tipped them off? Everything Trump has ever done and said?

(Read as: destroyed and then lied about)

[-] MutantTailThing@lemmy.world 18 points 1 week ago

Yeah no shit Sherlock.

[-] RogueBanana@piefed.zip 18 points 1 week ago

He absolutely can. Just admit defeat and walk away in shame. But his pride probably wouldn't allow that.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 11 points 1 week ago

Nah Iran wouldnt just "reopen" the straight even if Trump did that.

[-] favoredponcho@lemmy.zip 9 points 1 week ago

It would reopen it and charge a toll. At this point, that might be preferable to 20% of the world’s oil market being cut off, but that result makes Trump look like a complete loser.

[-] fizzle@quokk.au 2 points 1 week ago

That's not really "open" though.

[-] FreddiesLantern@leminal.space 15 points 1 week ago

Man, leopards getting seriously overweight lately…

[-] Rothe@piefed.social 13 points 1 week ago

Wall Street is a bit slow in the head it seems, but I guess they will get there if you give them enough time.

[-] bmebenji 9 points 1 week ago

TIL I’m better at predicting the future than the average Wall Streeter. Maybe I should get into Wall Streeting.

[-] JakenVeina@midwest.social 8 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

Being successful on Wall Street isn't about being smart, it's about having connections and being willing to commit fraud.

[-] IronBird@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

eh, doesnt take smarts or insider knowledge to buy low sell high. if anything smarts hurts you in fintech industry...you second guess your plays too much

[-] supersquirrel@sopuli.xyz 4 points 1 week ago

Finance people are so damn willfully clueless.

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 2 points 1 week ago

I'm assuming the Wall Street people assumed Trump's just doing this to manipulate the markets and make a bunch of money, but now it's starting to seem like MAYBE he's just stuck and completely fucked.

[-] resipsaloquitur@lemmy.cafe 7 points 1 week ago* (last edited 1 week ago)

You mean the guy who triggered Iran to do the thing they've threatened to do for decades in order to disctract America from the Epstein Files scandal can't get that toothpaste back in the tube?

[-] Dippy@beehaw.org 6 points 1 week ago

Whaaaaaaaat?

[-] goatmeal@midwest.social 5 points 1 week ago

*won’t, not can’t

I feel like they’ve sabotaged it everytime it’s been close

[-] Duamerthrax@lemmy.world 3 points 1 week ago

These people are all cokeheads.

this post was submitted on 05 Jun 2026
150 points (100.0% liked)

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