While i was rotting in my room people my age were being brought home from the hospital because they drank too much and needed to have their stomach pumped and or brought home from jail because they stole something or broke into somewhere.

This was in the Balkans btw and people there can be stupid af.

One classmate was in the hospital for the stomach pumping, two died one (23) on his way to work but still drunk and another (20) on his way home after drinking, my brother got taken to the station because they found weed on him, he was 15 at the time and multiple others did other stupid shit that didn't do much other than get them into trouble.

it's not rotting if you enjoy it

currently rotting in a hospital bed because i’m very chronically ill

You can change this

Gotta figure out if you're jealous or envious, and what it is about what they're doing that you are of, then build that, sometimes it takes a while.

Also, if you don't feel like doing anything, maybe you're staring out the window at others instead of seeing to your own needs and interests.

As an aside on this topic, the Icelandic music artist Dadi Freyr just released a good song that's mildly relevant https://youtu.be/ebAvkqpA9MU