My name is "Robert'); DROP TABLES".

I ate that silica gel pack that comes with stuff sometimes.

You were the first to purchase WinRAR

ADHD - As usual I forgot something important, like to stay dead.

You just said, I died.

My death was so absurd it triggered an unhandled edge case in the code.

I actually sat down and read the rules to the Game of Life by Hasbro.

I was just looking for a bathroom. Guess I took a wrong turn?

Successfully divided something by 0

Well, the first step was recognizing I was in a simulated universe in the first place. After that it was about finding the inconsistencies via side-channel attacks.

I'm ... I'm afraid to say. Let's just say it was a bit of an embarrassing venture involving rubberbands.

"Morpheus this is really not funny"

The question at the end implies the death was on purpose. Are you trying to cheat the system?

Watchdog process detected that I was too risky to be allowed to remain in the sim

Tried a bunch of stuff and finally found some exploits that gave me infinite ammo, 100000000x damage with the starter pistol and infinite health. Eventually, I also found a way to walk through the walls, so I dropped down into the infinite void, waited for the coordinate system to cause an integer overflow and here we are. Anyway, if you're wondering where all the lag is coming form, it's because I started decorating places by duplicating watermelons. Who knew that the watermelon stack doesn't have an upper limit. It just keeps on doubling every time. Hey, you might also want to implement a garbage collection system that despawns stuff like that after a while. You know, that huge watermelon pyramid that glitches through the sky box… yeah, that’s a lot of collisions happening all the time. Just don’t look straight at it, because it’s going to wreck your fps.

I would instantly kill myself in every loop. Thus causing a buffer overload as it was generating worlds fastest than it could handle. Eventually the system couldn't handle it and failsafe ejected me to this blank plane of existence.

I figured out this was the Bad Place all along.

The first being not to lose the game.

All nighter playing games with my friends and whoops, i drank one too many energy drinks.

404 purgatory not found.

Glitch out of existence probably

How did I get out of existing into purgatory or how do I now escape it?

I pressed CTRL+ALT+DEL twice at the same time.

I watched Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon exactly 42,000 times and was able to recite it word for word to the AI.

Rokos basilist is taking notes as we speak