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[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 81 points 2 days ago

If i was an ICE agent i'd probably shoot myself too

[-] Lost_My_Mind@lemmy.world 31 points 2 days ago

Or you could just.....ya know.....NOT be an ICE agent. Do they realize that's an option?

[-] curbstickle@anarchist.nexus 29 points 2 days ago

They are ICE agents, so... Probably not.

[-] Seaguy05@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Do you think you'd still get that sign on bonus?

[-] ignotum@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

From what i've heard they haven't been getting that bonus even if they manage to not shoot themselves, i guess crime doesn't pay?

[-] Lydia_K@lemmy.world 77 points 2 days ago

Feel good story of the year right here.

[-] shittydwarf@sh.itjust.works 53 points 2 days ago
[-] regedit@lemmy.zip 4 points 2 days ago

How many Assholes we got on this ship anyhow?

YO!

I knew it, I'm surrounded by Assholes!

::flips helmet mask down::

Keep firing, Assholes!

[-] cupcakezealot@piefed.blahaj.zone 44 points 2 days ago

first good thing ice has done

[-] big_dog_pie@piefed.social 8 points 2 days ago

Did they get tired of shooting their spouses?

[-] Hozerkiller@lemmy.ca 18 points 2 days ago

No ICE agents are actually a lot more progressive than us. They shoot everyone equally including immigrants, non-immigrants, protestors, innocent bystanders, and evidently now themselves.

[-] AFallingAnvil@lemmy.ca 3 points 16 hours ago

Don't forget the press!

[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 7 points 2 days ago

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

[-] Ensign_Crab@lemmy.world 2 points 10 minutes ago

Roses are red,

The humor is mild,

Idk why but "roses are red" jokes always make me giggle like a child

[-] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 25 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

You laugh now, but when they figure out they have to hold them forwards it's over. /j

[-] green_goglin@thelemmy.club 15 points 2 days ago

nature is healing

[-] merc@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago

How many are doing it on purpose? They got a big signing bonus that has to be paid back if they quit. They hate the job, and don't want to do it, but they already spent the signing bonus. If they're injured on the job they get time to recover, and might be assigned to a desk job once they're out of the hospital. Blam

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

I read on several news sites that many if not all of them have not and will not see that bonus. Something about having to be there 5 years, and ICE isn't expected to be a thing in 5 years.

[-] sharkfucker420@lemmy.ml 21 points 2 days ago
[-] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 15 points 2 days ago

Are they secretly good people after all?

[-] osanna@thebrainbin.org 9 points 2 days ago
[-] theuniqueone@lemmy.dbzer0.com 18 points 2 days ago

True just like Hitler wasn't good even though he killed Hitler.

[-] 33550336@lemmy.world 5 points 2 days ago

Very good 😊

[-] aeronmelon@lemmy.world 13 points 2 days ago

Nature is healing.

[-] JustJack23@slrpnk.net 13 points 2 days ago
[-] FilthyShrooms@lemmy.world 9 points 2 days ago

Inspiring, reminds me of the guy who killed Hitler

[-] jaybone@lemmy.zip 10 points 2 days ago

When they shot Good, they sure weren’t worried about crossfire. It doesn’t surprise me these clowns would be shooting eachother regularly.

[-] DragonAce@lemmy.world 16 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Not each other, themselves. The article says these morons shot themselves in the leg while holstering their weapons. LOL

[-] 9point6@lemmy.world 7 points 2 days ago

It would be lovely if they all would

[-] village604@adultswim.fan 3 points 2 days ago

In the head instead of the leg, though.

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 1 points 1 day ago

Groin first, then head.

[-] Ceruleum@lemmy.wtf 2 points 1 day ago

Ice got iced.

[-] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 7 points 2 days ago

They would probably stop shooting themselves if their Bananadine and Jenkem habits didn't cost them like a million bucks an hour, thanks liberals

[-] MTZ@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago)

Lol did you just reference the fictional drug from Anarchist Cookbook AND the fictional drug from TOTSE.

A true master of the shitpost. You have my respect sir.

[-] MacaqueAndCheese@lemmy.ca 6 points 2 days ago

Is my age showing or am I just too young to be on the Internet

[-] CADmonkey@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

A TOTSE reference?

[-] br0da@lemmy.world 3 points 2 days ago
[-] bhamlin@lemmy.world 2 points 2 days ago

They should stop hiring Barney Fife.

this post was submitted on 19 Feb 2026
577 points (100.0% liked)

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