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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 2 days ago) by DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works to c/showerthoughts@lemmy.world

Hence the filial piety and the emotional abuse.

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[-] SexualPolytope@lemmy.sdf.org 19 points 2 days ago

I think you're reading way too much into it. We Indians (most of us, people in the South often flip it) write our names similar to the west i.e. family name last. But we definitely have a "family first" culture.

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 20 points 2 days ago

I think OP has some trauma and just wants to vent.

I must say, in official matters it used to be common to put the last name first here in Estonia. Nowadays it's less common, usually first name comes first. Are we "family first" or "individual first"? Idk, I think we're kinda individualistic, but most people do still value family quite a lot.

[-] DeathByBigSad@sh.itjust.works 6 points 2 days ago

I think OP has some trauma and just wants to vent.

Yes.

Lots of trauma.

Sorry, but venting is literally what the internet is made for lolz

🥲

[-] boonhet@sopuli.xyz 5 points 2 days ago

That's completely valid. I've done plenty of trauma dumping here on Lemmy. 99% of it about my ex wife and the shit she's put me through (massive debt, constant manipulation, threats of suicide, making me feel guilty for literally everything wrong with the world, etc).

Sometimes you want to vent to someone, and you don't want it to be anyone you know. Plus therapy can be expensive (even in my country despite having socialized healthcare, because all the therapists that work with the socialized healthcare system are booked until the next quarter after the end of the universe usually)

[-] napkin2020@sh.itjust.works 6 points 1 day ago

I use such name and this is pretty much the dumbest take on our names.

[-] psx_crab@lemmy.zip 15 points 2 days ago

Legit, there's no child abuse in US.

[-] cobysev@lemmy.world 11 points 2 days ago

I can't vouch for all East Asian countries, but in Japan, it's a matter of formality. When you meet someone, you always refer to them by their family name and an honorific. (Like we would say, "Mr. Smith.")

Once you start to get more friendly and familiar with an individual, you'll move on to more intimate honorifics, until you're allowed to call them by their direct first name, no honorifics. That's a sign that you're very close with someone.

It allows people to refer to you without being too direct and familiar until you've gotten to know them well. And you can tell what relationship two people have by what names they use to call each other. Heck, really close friends will probably make up nicknames for each other too.

When I was in the US military, it was kind of the same mentality. Everyone was referred to by rank and last name only. As you got to know someone of the same rank or lower than yours, you could refer to them by last name alone, no rank required. But only the closest of friends would refer to each other by first name.

[-] Brainsploosh@lemmy.world 6 points 2 days ago

This seems a shallow take to me, couldn't you just as well go:

In the US people adress eachother by (Mr/Mrs) family name, putting the family above individuality.

Which ofc is less prominent in the US than in more communal cultures like those in Japan or China.

[-] j4k3@lemmy.world 8 points 2 days ago

How do you punch holes in that dogma? I can think if many logical ways, but that is meaningless against the tribal structure.

  • If family is so valuable, why didn't strong families usher in the present age of technology
  • intelligence, business acumen, and competency are not hereditary.
  • team sports are a capitalist marketing scam. Putting a blue jersey on your sperm does not make it relevant or better than purple jersey'd sperm.
  • patriarchal male culture is chauvinistic ineptitude and masochism marketed as a replacement for intelligence. It is an admission of subservience to those that dominate by thought and fundamental logic. Fools only fear a brute, civilizations fear a physicist.
  • Strong families are only peripherally useful if capable of creating the opportunities and support needed to produce a physicist.
  • We are all only a product of our environment. That environment is primarily a result of the opportunities and support given freely by its members. So if your family is not strong, one should look in the mirror first.
  • A plant dies because you did not water it, not because of the room it was placed within.
[-] verdi@feddit.org 2 points 2 days ago

We are all only a product of our environment.

This is manifestly wrong and preys upon years of nature vs nurture misinformation.

It also renders everything else in the text as unreliable. Highly suggest replacing *only with *also.

[-] FishFace@piefed.social 2 points 2 days ago

Right, all Eastern countries are the same in this, as are all Western ones. Family was never know important than individual in any Western country for as long as family names have existed.

this post was submitted on 01 Dec 2025
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