I suppose it's better than the lively fisting that a bolt-action would require.

puts a choke on it you have been a bad shotgun

Most shotguns are one pump chumps. If you're having to give it a full handjob, consider using lube.

For best results, make sure you've got a firm grip on the butt

If you, consciously or otherwise, got your gun as a penis substitute, that’s probably a plus.

You pump AFTER you shoot, you clod

Imagine having to finger your gun
This post was made the the automatic gun gang

Reminds me of an old joke:

Q. Why is your mom like a shotgun?

A. Because one pump and she’s ready to blow.

Imagine your gun was trying to be a vibrator

Please, this was my first consideration when i bought a shotty. Doubles the effectiveness of practice.

Lol.

This is why you got to get a break action shotgun.

you mean cock?