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Real Talk
(lemmy.ml)
It's been tried. Where do you think nazgǔl come from?
Fools. When they will learn.
That's incredible
👌
Reminder that this is a stealth mission. You're gonna want a stealthier animal than a chicken. Imagine crawling through the dark in tense silence, only to to given away by a loud BKAWK. Not even a hobbit could sneak further than Moria with that condition.
Furthermore; The One Ring's greatest limitation is that it cannot just sprout legs and run off. Even beings of higher intelligence can be bent and manipulated to the ring's will (IE its ultimate goal of returning to Sauron). Putting the thing on an animal sounds like the best opportunity one could give an evil, tangentially sentient piece of jewelry the option to pilot the poor creature like a meat-mech directly into Sauron's clutches at the first opportunity.
As an aside: the ring could not be worn by said animal, it would needs be lashed to it. Imagine keeping track of a chicken which is now invisible to normal people, and also lit up like a beacon to the eye of Sauron and his otherwise day-blind ring wraiths. Bad idea.
Lol for sure I know one of mine has a loud ass egg song. A rooster would be funny too because. They never shut the fuck up
Someone has never owned chickens. They are capable of unspeakable acts
Someone never played Zelda and it shows.
Maybe they played it, but never repeatedly attacked cuckoos.
Did they really play it then?
That's way too deep for a weekend...
Something a little like this:
How does one piss off that many birds at once in that game?
I miss the class conscious cuckoos
If you attack the village chickens multiple times, this event triggers where many more spawn in and attack you. It's a thing in many Zelda games
I remember it from classic ones, had never seen it on the Switch one. Pretty hilarious.
They’d have eaten the chicken pretty fast.
I have a hen that’s pretty bossy but for god sakes don’t give it to a rooster. A rooster would be king of Mordor in a hot second.
One fowl to rule them all
how could it work?
whoever carries the chicken will be tempted by the ring and will likely kill the chicken in a fit of weakness
Yeah, Boromir was tempted by the ring just by proximity. Nevermind, how a person plans to make a chicken cooperate with heading into a blasted hellscape and up a volcano.
If that's the "plan", the smarter version is to just drag it in a bag behind you.
Every day the ring is passed to the next person in the rotation, out in the open and acknowledged by all. The new bearer has to pledge, "I definitely will not be a punk-ass bitch and try to keep the ring, and I promise to suck everyone's cock if I do. "
they could have forged the ring into a chain. not like an necklace, like using the ring as a chain link, make I'm mithril, people might still be tempted to use it, but no one could wear it.
my guy, smeagol was living in a cave because of the ring... i don't think the ring connected to a chain link will change a thing, especailly if it's wearable lol.
no, but it would help a bit
Didn't the ring adjust the size so the bearer could wear it though?
It did and also being near it corrupted you also.
I'm imagining a Hula hoop size so it'll go around your waste now
You're saying everyone would've been tempted by Frodo's cock?
The look Sam gave him at the end of the trilogy had me wondering
This sounds like a clip from a LOTR × Ghostbusters crossover. They try using a trap but the One Ring upgrades the trap to catch almost any spirit or demon, including Balrogs, tempting the Ghostbusters to use it to capture Sauron, which, of course, is pure folly.
why dont they render the ring unusable by putting it on a larger metal ring
put the larger ring on gollum as a fancy bdsm slave collar and throw the whole happy and docile sub gollum off an eagle into mount doom
edit: how to put the ring over gollums head? idk weld it together once he wears it
Onligatory "why not use the eagles" debate incoming
I thought this was settled. In the immortal words of JRR Tokin:
if eagles are out for lore reasons, a trebuchet with gollum payload works too
So there you are, an orc in mordor, on guard duty while sauron makes the rest of the army. It's pretty great being on guard duty, nobody bothers you and you've just caught a rabbit that you're now roasting on a small fire.
In the horizon a weird dude with a beard and a grey cape appears, he has several smaller humanoids with him ... and a trebuchet.
The trebuchet is launched and a small dude is flung above you. The projectile/dude is manically trying to open the box that he's apparently wearing as a hat?!?
You turn the rabbit, and when you look up again the guy has opened the box... Where did he go? You follow his path, and suddenly, next to the entrance to some random cave, you notice what could be the result of a small dude, with a metal box for a hat, hitting the side of the mountain. The sound hits your ears 2 seconds later. It's like both a thud, a clang, and a squish all at once.
Even at this distance you can see something in the mess. Something shiny that you for some reason just know isn't part of the box. You set off for the impact site.
What do you do now? If you want to investigate goto page 56 and if you want to alert the chain of command go to page 182.
Do it Canadian style, with a Cobra Chicken.
There wouldn’t be anything else alive after that for sure.
Kite-Man: Hell Yeah. The Anti-Life Equation infects a chicken, and it proceeds to murder a lot of people.
It finds a way.
Then the Chicken becomes an unwitting spy, and easy to steal from.
Sam would make an excellent chicken sandwich with this Lembas bread.
this post was submitted on 08 Nov 2025
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