Same for hippos.

Hippos are monsters. They kill for the joy of killing. They're vegetarians! They kill as many humans in Africa every year as crocs.

They spray their shit around by spinning their tiny tail as they shit, like a shit-filled garden hose.

They are moist and gross. Their call is laughing maniacally at the world. Moo Deng is damp Chucky without thumbs.

Obligatory link - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Seal_finger

Don't let a Seal bite you.

"Seal finger was first described scientifically in 1907. It can cause cellulitis, joint inflammation, and swelling of the bone marrow; untreated, the course of "seal finger" is slow and often results in a thickened, contracted joint. Historically, seal finger was treated by amputation of the affected digits once they became unusable...."

I now plan to use “the morals of a seagull” whenever I can

But seagulls have no morals

Which seals do you mean, the pinnipeds or the US soldiers? The post of vampireapologist isn't very clear about it.

Just google leopard seal. Its like a cross between a grizzly and a large shark

That's why otters are superior.

For the dolphins (porpoises) of this conversation are we taking a cat as being more or less cunning, intelligent and conniving than a toddler?

So, if sea lions are literally sea lions,

Seals are, sea panthers?

Except of course leopard seals, obvs.

(Making allowance for extra weight of blubber necessary for temperature control in the ocean)

But I'm more interested in their take on vampires. I hope it's not twilight stuff.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ctkKcVLIYuo