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[-] goldteeth@lemmy.dbzer0.com 79 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

I've had to construct an entire narrative around this to make it make sense but I think I've saved it.

Realtor goes out to survey the property or whatever the hell they do. She takes some notes on those little flip-out notepads that they stopped making around the time everyone got an iPhone. 3 bedrooms. But, the twist! Her handwriting is shit. Maybe it smudges a little. Who knows. She heads back to the realtor store and hand the notes off to an intern. She's got a hot date, doesn't have time to stick around all night Zillowing. But the intern, see, he left his glasses at home and then he spilled coffee on his keyboard. So he's there squinting at the notepad dictating into the text-to-speech software. He gets to the bedrooms. Reads the number wrong, but quickly corrects himself. "8- oh, 3 beds." Doesn't notice the mistake. He's in a rush. He's got a hot date too. With the realtor. Scandal ensues. Everyone gets too caught up in the resulting HR investigation to realize until it's too late, and the house is on the market. And now the district attorney wants to buy the house, and they only have three days to build 800 bedrooms or they're going to jail for architecture fraud. Eva Longoria, Joe Keery, and Walton Goggins star in Halfway House, from the director of The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause and The Tooth Fairy, and visionary producer Timur Bekmambetov, in theaters this January. "This estate is anything but real." Rated PG-13.

[-] Okokimup@lemmy.world 6 points 3 days ago

I've never wanted to award a lemmy comment gold before.

[-] Bane_Killgrind@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 3 days ago

The Rainn Wilson energy is there

[-] baggachipz@sh.itjust.works 7 points 4 days ago

This is exactly what happened. Thank you.

[-] Dadifer@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago
[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 37 points 4 days ago

Slaps roof of house This bad boy can fit so many beds in it

[-] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 5 points 3 days ago

This looks just like some scam listing I've seen. Most will have only google street view, but local scammers will go and take quick photos of the outside.

[-] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 16 points 4 days ago

Dammit, 2 bathrooms is NOT ENOUGH for 803 people

[-] Damage@feddit.it 3 points 4 days ago

All that greenery in the pictures is gonna be turned into a crap wasteland in short time

[-] Fermion@mander.xyz 17 points 4 days ago

2.3 acres in that neighborhood is where the asking price comes from. The Charlotte market is just that hot.

[-] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 9 points 4 days ago

With that many bedrooms, they should be asking a lot more though.

[-] Albbi@lemmy.ca 16 points 4 days ago

Gonna be a hell of a lineup for one of the 2 bathrooms.

[-] DaddleDew@lemmy.world 14 points 4 days ago

They're counting the mouse nests as well

[-] umbrella@lemmy.ml 12 points 4 days ago

single family residence.

that's one hell of a family

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 7 points 4 days ago

Almost 3x the size of my house in a town in the UK and only a bit more expensive. Vastly more land too.

Only redeeming thing is we could afford it on minimum wage.

[-] Captainvaqina@sh.itjust.works 6 points 4 days ago

Damn you must be one hell of a budgeting expert to afford this on $7.25 an hour.

Oh wait.

[-] Korhaka@sopuli.xyz 3 points 3 days ago

£12.21 ($16.41) is minimum wage here

[-] ThePantser@sh.itjust.works 10 points 4 days ago

Old cult commune?

[-] EpeeGnome@feddit.online 8 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Even if the other rooms in the house took up no space at all, that would still only leave around 2.4 square feet per bedroom. Maybe it's like one of those Japanese capsule hotels.

It's too bad they only included pics of the 3 main level bedrooms and not the other 800.

[-] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

I think I found a picture of one of the bedrooms, it's actually very cozy

[-] uservoid1@lemmy.world 8 points 4 days ago

Detention facilities are so hot right now

Anyone ever read House of Leaves?

[-] cloudless@piefed.social 7 points 4 days ago

Possibly counting Ikea flat-pack beds.

[-] Harvey656@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Now where do i find 802 roommates to live with?

803 bedrooms. One for each rat.

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 1 points 3 days ago

Roomrats!
Rarmates?
Roommates!!

Friends!

[-] xylol@leminal.space 3 points 4 days ago

There was this house for sale when we were looking that had a huge section if the house with big storage racks and a bunch if beds and a large like 5 person gym shower. My guess is it was some kind of illegal sweat shop operation

this post was submitted on 28 Sep 2025
161 points (100.0% liked)

Terrible Estate Agent Photos

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Terrible photos listed by estate agents/realtors that are so bad they’re funny.

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