263

Become irresistible to women (mander.xyz)

submitted 6 days ago by fossilesque@mander.xyz to c/science_memes@mander.xyz

21 comments fedilink hide all child comments

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gnetophyta#Gnepine_hypothesis

top 21 comments

sorted by: hot top controversial new old

[-] logicbomb@lemmy.world 47 points 6 days ago

Honestly, he dodged a bullet. Imagine a taxonomist who wants to date another taxonomist. It's virtually guaranteed that their relationship would be non-stop fighting.

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 21 points 6 days ago

source

[-] knightly@pawb.social 11 points 6 days ago

[Groundskeeper Willie Meme]

Damn taxonomists, they've ruined taxonomy! XD

[-] ZoteTheMighty@lemmy.zip 3 points 6 days ago

Honestly, I don't think I could be with anyone who understood a single word of that wiki description.

[-] CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 5 days ago

after i read your comment, i actually asked myself a question: "why tf one would even like taxonomy?"

and i'm still asking

pls someone answer

[-] angrystego@lemmy.world 1 points 1 day ago

Because nerding knows no limits. Taxonomy rocks.

[-] CheesyFox@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 12 hours ago

i see...

Take that, nerd!>:D

rustles your hair

[-] TomMasz@piefed.social 24 points 6 days ago

Poor dude is crying.

[-] lvxferre@mander.xyz 11 points 6 days ago

Because she's a con[ifers] woman.

[-] recklessengagement@lemmy.world 17 points 6 days ago

Clicked that Wikipedia link and immediately had a stroke

[-] bizarroland@lemmy.world 19 points 6 days ago

I can't blame you, it is pretty sexy reading.

[-] Gladaed@feddit.org 17 points 6 days ago

Can't understand or didn't know about? It's a very straightforward hypothesis, but implausible to know about.

[-] spinne@sh.itjust.works 20 points 6 days ago

Let's go with "can't understand," as in, "she gave a satisfactory explanation of the gnepine hypothesis, and he can't understand it." Because, as you've pointed out, it doesn't seem that hard, so maybe he should be crying as she leaves

[-] TropicalDingdong@lemmy.world 15 points 6 days ago

[-] chunkystyles@sopuli.xyz 7 points 5 days ago

Get out of my room, Peter Pan.

[-] Evil_Shrubbery@thelemmy.club 9 points 6 days ago

This whole link is the exact nerd thing I needed to read rn (it's notable stuff in overall evolution, not just taxonomy), thx.

[-] flora_explora@beehaw.org 3 points 5 days ago

Wow, never heard of Gnetum until now. Incrediblethat it is in the Gymnosperms while looking so much like an Angiosperm :O

[-] Mac@mander.xyz 5 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

Even better: i am resistible by all. 👌

[-] HeyThisIsntTheYMCA@lemmy.world 2 points 5 days ago

What about cheese? Can you resist cheese and can cheese resist you?

[-] ryedaft@sh.itjust.works 6 points 6 days ago

Bet the sex was as freaky as the molecular biology of plants. Trying to understand how conifers got their freak on over 200 million years ago? Fool's errand.

[-] thebardingreen@lemmy.starlightkel.xyz 6 points 6 days ago* (last edited 6 days ago)

"I want to pollinate you and cover you in pine cones," he whispered and she felt her sap run hot with desire. She shivered from more than the cool spring wind on her bark. His needles moved against hers in the breeze, tickling and prickling her deliciously and she could tell his wood was knotted and hard as his sticky sap dripped from it. She craved to feel him against her, branches and bark and overwhelming passion. And then she felt it, the microspores of his grainy discharge, carrying his potent gametophytes, exploded into her, settling among her needles. Her bark tingled with exquisite, syngamic release as her branches quivered in the cool spring wind and deep inside her ovules she felt his gametes fuse with hers. "Yes," she whispered in the wind. "Take me! Fertilize me! Give me your nuts!"

"You know I'm your half brother," he whispered as she shuddered in climax. "I don't care," she whispered back. "That makes it hotter."