I'm so vehemently adamant about needing and wanting to live completely alone, and be left alone, that I would sooner live in my car (and do), than have to live with friends or roommates. Needed to see this. It definitely made me feel something I can't put into words.
Im not sure about that, i want to be alone
But also please know that you are loved.
Oh and I hear you please also know that.
Sadly we've created (or at least blindly complied with) a society that values consumerism over community. The larger family/tribe unit worked because everyone had someone. The young were looked after by the elderly, who in turn were nourished by feelings of worth and value, while younger adults would work or look after the household. Now we pay strangers to look after our kids and ourselves in old age. We work with colleagues we barely connect with for the best years of our lives, lives that we spend mostly buying stuff and things to fill the void we've created.
I work with colleagues that are actively hostile to me, and I'd rather trade smashing rocks in a forest for 12 hours, with no human contact. I straight up gave up YouTube, Videogames, C.AI, and Discord, just to focus on my job, and it is never enough.
Man, I wish I could believe all that, I really do. Maybe one day.
I want to be able and capable of being 100% independent and choosing not to. Right now, I'm not capable, and I don't like it. If I suddenly needed to be, I'd be screwed.
I want people, but I'm terrified, can't drive, live in a place I hate with a friend who barely talks to me, walk to work, and have started drinking more to cope with everything. If I'm not at work, I'm in my room or on the porch alone, chainsmoking, drinking, or playing video games.
I'm all for saving the Western world view from individualistic anti-humanist self-annhilation. Its not too late to start prioritizing people more than objects.
As an added bonus, it'll piss our billionaire overlords off.
Yeah, I do deserve all that but it ain't happening. Hasn't happened for decades. Don't see it changing any time soon.
For the record, I don't think it's malicious, I think it's that my needs are high and/or unusual or something. Idk.
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