240
Jesus Christ I fully believed this was real.
Shit is bad.
I mean, it is pretty damn close to what's going on.
I thought it was real until I read this comment.
He was recently gaslighting about Canada saying we have been the aggressors this entire time and we started "elbows up" and US boycotts for no reason. The guy is a right cunt.
This article is not far from truth.
It's obvious satire...for now
The thing is a while ago it used to be satire now I have to do a double take.
EVERTIME
You never know anymore
This was not obvious satire.
I could honestly see them saying that.
The onion is good at satire news because their headlines are comedic, and have a twist.
The Beaverton is bad at this. The US has threatened all of those things. There's no comedic twist. This headline entirely plausible, just misattributed to someone else in the administration. Its not a satirical headline, its just false and alarminst, like most actual news online these days.
Yes. The US ambassador actually kicked a live beaver, spit on a photo of Terry Fox, etc. That's stuff that actually happened and is thus not satire. And the Onion is better as satire because it spells it out for you in the headline, thus not requiring you to do things like "read" and "think". The Onion totally isn't a vapid shadow of what it once was since VCs took it over.
🙄
the bombing will continue until morale improves
Satire is dead. Reality killed it
I almost ate the onion
The title got me, I'll admit that.
This is not satire, it's prophecy.
if it was obvious satire you wouldn't have to list it as obvious satire
if i was lucky enough to be canadian i would be getting my shit ready to turn back the colonizer hordes during the water wars
americans are monsters
It's obvious satire if you READ THE ACTUAL ARTICLE. Hence "read before reacting".
I know that the attention span of the younger generation has been crippled, hence the warning to read before reacting. Which of course was itself too much reading for people to do before reacting.
i can’t tell if this is real anymore!?!?
What a sad little man.
I ran the numbers and tarrif and then bomb really doesn't yield the return you might think it would.
You guys said the same thing before even the anti-American sentiment.
“Obvious”
Hoekstra then poured out a bottle of Labatt Blue while spitting on a photo of Terry Fox, before decrying how “it’s so difficult to find Canadians who are passionate about the American-Canadian relationship”.
After expressing frustration over the lack of pro-American sentiment among Canadians, Hoekstra clarified that comments made by President Trump are “completely different, you pathetic soyboy canucks.”
“When our own glorious President Trump, long may he reign, threatens to kick Canada out of the 5 Eyes intelligence group, or to economically annex your crappy country, that comes from a place of love,” Hoekstra added while kicking a live beaver.
Yes. Obvious. Hence "read before reacting".
Which, of course, half the people didn't bother doing because reading is for the weak or something.
I used to play league of legends with a guy that worked at the Beaverton. Maybe 14 years ago.
Jacob, if you are still there congrats on all the good work you have done
"Improve"? Hmmm...oh, you want Canada to fully boycott the US? Gotcha!
I mean, "improve", they didn't say which way!
this post was submitted on 20 Sep 2025
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Boycott US
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Overview:
The community dedicated to boycotting the US until they stop fascism, restore full democracy and start following international law.
Americans have a moral obligation to resist Donald Trump and project 2025 at every turn.
America is a flawed democracy currently being ruled by oligarchs. Stop the backslide! Dont let America become the next Hungary.
America needs to challenge the court rulings of citizens united v. fec and shelby county v. holder, protect the media, implement independent district drawing, and the single transferable vote so they don't end up having people stay home in life-changing elections because they cannot vote for their favourite candidate.
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