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ANSWER HIM (lemmy.world)
submitted 6 days ago by Stamets@lemmy.world to c/memes@lemmy.world
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[-] hungryphrog 28 points 5 days ago

guess asexuals aren't fully human

[-] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 4 points 4 days ago

I mean. The Lord said.

[-] Alwaysnownevernotme@lemmy.world 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

Jesus was for sure a foot guy.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 6 points 4 days ago

And a guy guy. Maybe a bi guy.

[-] chatokun@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 4 days ago

Iirc there is a hypothesis in biblical interpretation that the Hebrew word for "feet" sometimes functions as a euphemism for dick. Though that wouldn't apply to the Greek scriptures.

[-] markovs_gun@lemmy.world 2 points 3 days ago

That doesn't stop theologians for claiming "aramaisms" as a convenient excuse for parts of the Bible that are theologically inconvenient. The classic example is the Catholic doctrine of the perpetual virginity of Mary, which is seemingly contradicted by the Gospels' many references to Jesus having brothers. Catholic theologians claim that the term brothers actually refers to cousins because in Aramaic the term for brothers can mean cousins in some contexts even though the Greek term is not ambiguous. This type of mix up doesn't seem to occur outside of the Gospels but that doesn't stop people from claiming it.

[-] s@piefed.world 76 points 6 days ago
[-] WalrusDragonOnABike@reddthat.com 72 points 6 days ago

No, because all aces are born fully gods.

[-] samus12345@sh.itjust.works 11 points 5 days ago
[-] CyberEgg@discuss.tchncs.de 23 points 6 days ago

It is a very cishet perspective.

[-] RaivoKulli@sopuli.xyz 1 points 4 days ago

Gays and trans have no sexual urges confirmed

[-] Fleur_@aussie.zone 34 points 5 days ago

There are no people who don't have sexual desires, obviously

[-] Konstant@lemmy.world 27 points 5 days ago

Asexuals: am I a joke to you?

[-] Opisek@lemmy.world 6 points 5 days ago

Strong desires for garlic bread

[-] Cort@lemmy.world 2 points 4 days ago

So not vampires, but have we ruled out werewolves?

Guess dragons can also be werewolves?

[-] Ceedoestrees@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Scary dragon turns into a wolf on the full moon, becoming significantly less of a threat.

[-] vivalapivo@lemmy.today 1 points 4 days ago

They are the joke to Catholics

[-] WrittenInRed@piefed.blahaj.zone 52 points 6 days ago

I mean based on Mary Magdalene, I'd assume feet.

[-] 0ops@piefed.zip 17 points 5 days ago

I would watch a Tarantino bible movie

[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

*Rolls big stone away* (rest of script like Kill Bill)

[-] NoneOfUrBusiness@fedia.io 45 points 6 days ago

Or he could be just asexual, that's a thing too.

[-] IndolentRoshi@lemmy.world 7 points 4 days ago

I happen to know by divine revelation: he was fully boobs man, fully ass man

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 7 points 5 days ago

BTW the character under the comment is Joshua Graham aka the Burned Man, if you can't guess based off the name the character is Mormon or Mormon derived at least. But if my understanding of Mormon theology is correct he would be of the opinion that Jesus fucks.

[-] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 9 points 5 days ago

Fucking, when done righteously, is a chore like any other.

[-] vaultdweller013@sh.itjust.works 4 points 5 days ago* (last edited 5 days ago)

IDK who down voted you but you got a solid snort from me.

[-] ivanafterall@lemmy.world 5 points 4 days ago

I'm disappointed there's nobody here so far proudly standing and saying, "ASS, YOU FOOLS!" So I'm stepping forward. Boobs are wonderful, but dat aaassss doe.

[-] Wutchilli@feddit.org 16 points 6 days ago

Men (i mean look at all the Apostel jesus gatherd around him)

[-] rockerface@lemmy.cafe 8 points 6 days ago

That is not mutually exclusive with the question

[-] zout@fedia.io 8 points 6 days ago

Isn't that because women weren't allowed in? I mean, I once saw a documentary about that time and place where it was shown women would pretend to be male and wear false beards so they could attend a stoning.

[-] frezik 9 points 6 days ago

Yes, no, it's complicated. Early Christianity did push back against some masculine norms of the time. For example, Jesus saying that you should only divorce in cases of cheating was a help for women at the time. Men were divorcing their wives for whatever reason and leaving them destitute. However, now it's flipped around by fundamentalist churches to say that's the rule for all time, and that means women can't leave an abusive husband. So what was intended as help for women is now a harm.

1 Corinthians 14:34,35 ("women should remain silent in churches") was probably stuck in there later on. The passage around it reads more naturally without it. From verse 26 on, it has an egalitarian outlook in saying that anyone who feels inspired should be allowed to stand up and speak their mind until someone else has an inspiration. Then it hits verse 34, and suddenly it's "but not women".

And it's interesting that a fundamentalist church might not approve women to even speak in church, citing this scripture as the reason, but not running their service in any other way that passage says.

[-] squaresinger@lemmy.world 8 points 6 days ago

Btw, he was talking about Life of Brian.

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[-] JcbAzPx@lemmy.world 5 points 6 days ago

He had a fine collection of sea men.

[-] HikingVet@lemmy.ca 4 points 6 days ago

So, chest hair?

[-] FridaySteve@lemmy.world 3 points 4 days ago

Also an unmarried rabbi of his age at that time was really unusual.

[-] Sparky 11 points 6 days ago
[-] hiyato@lemmy.world 1 points 3 days ago

what if he was ace not that asexuals are fully human but what if they are

[-] ArnaulttheGrim@lemmy.world 9 points 6 days ago

Someone hasnt read St Thomas Aquinas...

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[-] SlartyBartFast@sh.itjust.works 9 points 6 days ago

Is that the guy from Fallout New Vegas

[-] mrlemmyhimself@lemmy.world 5 points 5 days ago

Joshua Graham, the Burned Man

[-] Snowpix@lemmy.ca 2 points 5 days ago

The Malpais Legate.

[-] noxypaws@pawb.social 1 points 4 days ago

feet. definitely feet.

[-] Console_Modder@sh.itjust.works 5 points 6 days ago

Hell yeah, new vegas mentioned

they hid his true lineage from the history books

[-] andros_rex@lemmy.world 1 points 4 days ago

tfw you will never see the gay porno about Jesus

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this post was submitted on 02 Sep 2025
480 points (100.0% liked)

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