They can't spell those words, for starters.

Why is it never a high-quality french Jambon or Prosciutto with those people?

Because along with hating minorities, foreigners, and the LGBTQ community, there are few people American nationalists hate more than The French.

You shouldn't render out all the fat of your bacon. Keep it in there!

Also fuck Off with reduced fat anything. If you give me fat less bacon the cooking will not work unless I put some other fat in.

I'm delicious! (Fat IS flavour right?)

So they're calling themselves pigs?! Doesn't really seem like the own they believe it is.

The War on Christmas is absolutely real and it is the height of ignorance to pretend otherwise. To be crystal clear Christmas is the 12 day season between 12/25 and 1/6. Anyone complaining about people not saying "Merry Christmas" outside of 12/25-1/6 is talking about the wrong season.

Advent starts with the first of four Sundays before Christmas day. This is typically after American thanksgiving has taken place and is the actual season that is going on when people complain about "The War on Christmas". The proper greeting for this season will refer to Advent and not Christmas because 12/1-12/23 is not Christmas.

To sum up there is a War on Christmas and the aggressors are the ones bitching about people not saying Merry Christmas during Advent.

I once told someone I enjoy eating meat. Later they caught me eating tofu, because I enjoy eating that too. It was fun watching them implode!

People clutching their ears and writhing in pain the moment they find out you're trying to cut back on eating meat is always such a bizarre response.

Imagine doing this to anyone going on a diet. Screaming and thrashing and trying to shield yourself with a fist full of candy bars the moment you hear "I'm cutting sweets out until I lose 10 lbs"

Sorry i don't eat meat.

I NEED MY PROTEIN, I'M ALLERGIC TO VEGETEBLES, I GET ALLY MEAT FROM A GUY WHO TREATS HIS ANIMALS VERY WELL AND THEY LOVE BEING EATEN.

Okay.

Too many nots, I'm tangled.

Do these people who claim to be Christian even know their beloved book?

Very, very few. It's really frustrating when talking to them because of their ignorance of their own operations manual. As an agnostic, I'm embarrassed for them. I took the time to read it many many many times along with the Mormon text, Hindu religions, Janeism, Buddhism, etc and about 3 years ago I finally finished the English translation of the Quran. They can't seem to handle one book.

And I do not say these things from any moral high ground or superiority. However, if you come to my door and tell me I'm going to eternal damnation because I do not believe in the same way they do, their book, and their god, then they better bring their A game.

America was founded by people fleeing religious persecution from the government installed in their homeland, official Church. They left us two principals to live by. Freedom of religion....that's them, and most importantly, freedom from religion, that's me.IMHO we can all coexist given 3 criteria are strictly met:

• Lawful: that's obvious
• Peaceful: Another obvious
• Stays out of my politics: One not so very obvious to a lot of people. That is by design. When ever you have a religiously dominated government, it always, always, always turns out bad.

Give a man someone to hate and he's bend over and spread his cheeks for your amusement. (Paraphrased LBJ)

I travel around my (deep purple) state with a satchel of various brassicas. Going out of the house in this area without a curated collection of cruciferous comestibles would be like going into a hot war without merely a sidearm.

• Everyone knows that any green thing can ward off the common MAGA chud, but many are unaware that so-called "enlightened" centrists are actually attracted to broccoli. Don't be fooled. For them, you must brandish brussels sprouts - preferably still attached to a long stalk. Then, launch into a cooking lesson, but do NOT DETACH OR BOIL THE SPROUTS. You will have your quarry at the first hint of Maillard's reaction, and they will either join your cause or become total hermits.
• Liberals will claim to favor kale, but I've had success presenting them with multiple diverse varietials while explaining that "Lacinato" and "Dinosaur" are both equally accurate and acceptable terms when used to refer to the bumpy, dark green kind. Your utter indifference to - and rejection of - their "correct" preference will eventually send them into a blind, self-destructive rage - if you're patient and hold the line. Just be sure to stand outside their blast radius when they finally go.
• You must be creative and self-assured when it comes to libertarians, but try showing off a fresh romanesco cauliflower while delivering a long-winded (but efficient) diatribe in which you logically interweave fractals, calculus, coastlines, cacti, psychedelics and concepts of cognitive sovereignty. Once they sense that you have more than a surface-level understanding of these topics, and genuinely care about how they each relate to objective, consensus reality, they pathetically slink away like old goats, having fired not a single round of reloaded ammunition out of their bespoke 3d-printed handgun.

Good luck out there!

Except bone apple tea is self aware. Good chance bone-petite isn’t.