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The adventures of Muffin
(lemmy.world)
I may have lost the battle, but I won the war.
That's the face of a proud father of 30.
Epic story
I think it's also the face of someone absolutely zooted.
Muffin probably knocked up a dozen cats, two dogs and Mrs Johnson’s lawn mower to warrant this public announcement.
The lawnmower was collateral damage, but the resulting edge trimmers meowing for snacks are scary.
I'll never forget when the vet sterilized mine it was a rescued cat.
Vet:Alright the good news is that the surgery was successful but there afe more news...
Me:Oh... Erm go on
Vet:Turns out we tought he was younger by his size but he is way older than we tought maybe 7 years instead of 7 months. Turns out hes small by himself and malnourished. And also not virgin.
Me:Alright I'll bite how you know?
Vet:Well... The testicles darken with the time and gain wrinkles woth the use...
Me:And sooo....
Vet:He had toasted wallnuts...
If the vasectomy doesn't come with an announcement post like this I don't want it.
I'll pull you through the streets on a rickshaw announcing it
Hear ye, hear ye! The new eunuch blesses you with his attendance.
Meanwhile in the Ottoman court.
"The new eunuch is having you assassinated. Blessings."
Why does this read like a CK2 event?
Studmuffin
that's a relaxed cat, probably still on drugs
we had a stray on our street produce 17 kittens at the same time, from a mother and two of her kittens. that kind of havoc.
that was just at our neighbor's. who knows how many others he... sired? spawned? offsprung? around the neighborhood. we were trying very very hard to get all of them at least TNR'd. but we kept the cutest one for ourselves.
Begat
cats are superfecund
That cats thinking "Do what you will fools, my seed is sown far and wide"
Greebo?
Let's just say I'm relieved he's sterilized
Operation Catsnip
That's a typo, the cat is named "Muff In"
They said it could be done but they finally caught that Muffin, man.
A true agent in the Cat distribution system
Dani Gomez asking the real question.
Small person or huge cat?
I have a tuxedo cat about that size.
Muffin isn't his real name. That's Tommy the Cat.
The least they could after that is buy him some Neuticles.
Edit the to they
What an absolute unit, lol. Looks a bit like mine, also a Tuxedo that got the snippy-snap later in life with a distinctly unit-like look. (Though not as absolute as this one.)
Naming pets after food always seems like incredibly poor taste to me.
Applesauce is offended.
Applesauce looks like an offender.
She really is. She's the queen of unprovoked attacks.
She has a history of violence...
You mean Operation CatSnip don't you?
That’s a big fucking cat. At least as big as my old cat Fat Bob.
this post was submitted on 01 Sep 2025
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