I have a wonderful collection of spirits and a ton of strange instruments at home. So well have a drink and then we jam a bit.

I also might have some acid laying around if you are down for some weirder tunes.

I'm pretending to not be at home.

Get in loser, I'm teaching you to selfhost

I have two gaming PCs, a Nintendo Switch, PS5, and a Steam Deck. If gaming is not your thing, I am a coffee snob, so I can entertain you with my coffee brewing gear or we can dial in different roasts together.

If even coffee is not your thing, I am also a hobbyist woodworker, so maybe we can build something together.

If all else fails, you can play with my dog, relax in one of my 3 hammocks, mess with my cats, we can go ultralight backpacking, you can play the piano, we can make scented candles or soaps, or I can teach you programming. I also have lots of books!

Welcome to my ADHD life!

Why should I entertain you?

well im currently naked.

Depends, probably I'm going to pretend to not be home and not answer my phone.

But if you're someone I like, I might force you to learn the rules to French Tarot and play that. Or another trick taking game like hearts or spades. Assuming my brother is also home and we have a 3rd player.

There's also always music, movies, tv shows, et cetera.

We could crochet.

If you're gay we could probably have sex. I'm normally down to clown.

We could play fetch with the dogs.

If all else fails you can play games on the Xbox while I read.

But really, if you're just showing the hell up with 10 minutes of warning you need to be the one with a plan here. Otherwise I'm probably going to just keep doing what I normally do and you can join in if you want.

You're free to look at my door from the outside.

Almost everyone in this thread is a terrible host, Jesus Christ.

Sorry, OP.

I'll be naked when you get here. I think I have a strip of bacon left and can make some more French Toast.

I'll show you how to install Archlinux

I have a cat that refuses to shut up. Ask him anything, he will scream at you. He will only stop if you ask him about Israel. Sometimes.

Ask you to help carry my old stove out to the curb and see if you want to troubleshooot some wiring

You said 10 minutes. Give me back that 1 second.

You can hang out in the back yard and hand-feed our 100+ pound giant sulcata tortoise. She'll come "running" if she sees you have treats (e.g. lettuce).

You can keep the puppy busy outside so she doesn't have to worry about "forgetting" and doing that inside (puppies are trouble).

You can fish off the dock or swim in the pool. At night, I can setup the projection screen and we can watch some old movie out back and roast marshmallows at the fire pit.

Or you can just hang out with me in my garage/office and lose endless amounts of time watching the 3D printer print something (as is tradition with 3D printing!).

Also have a rather large robot to play with and an awesome HTPC setup and wifi 7 with 2 gig Internet. Actually, forget all that other stuff; 2 gig Internet is living the dream! 🤣

I'm sick, so we're watcbing Hollow Knight streams.

that's not enough warning time and I didn't get the message, so you'll be entertaining yourself watching the dogs in the window as I ignore the doorbell

You have a choice. We can watch Ninja Turtles, read Ninja Turtles, or play Ninja Turtles.

Boring standard screen-based stuff. I could dig out a board game if you really want, I guess.

Maybe you'll like my dog?

id try to suck your dick immediately

I send you up to the roof. You help the roofers there. Nothing beats some honest work with your hands.

I just woke up so i hope you have your phone and preferred method of using Lemmy

Have you heard about our lord and saviour Jesus Christ?

Your premise falsely assumes I'll even let you in when you show up uninvited.

Board games.

I mean I might still be jacking off so that'll probably do it

We can play lego LOTR on my PC I have 2 controllers.