321
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by bridgeenjoyer@sh.itjust.works to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

I personally cringe when I hear a friend js having a kid. All I can think of is how bad theyre going to have it. Hell id definitely have been better off being born 20 years earlier, but these new kids are REALLY screwed unless they have super rich parents.

"Nothing new under the sun" I suppose!

top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] masterspace@lemmy.ca 93 points 3 months ago

Climate change is the only true existential reason to feel that way.

Everything else is just over focusing on a short term dip. On average things are getting better over the long term. The British Empire collapsed, and so will the American one, and the world will keep on turning and progressing.

Hell kids born these days may have legitimate cures for most forms of cancer by the time they're old. We won't.

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] LastYearsIrritant@sopuli.xyz 76 points 3 months ago

VERY specific people would have been better off born 20 years ago.

The vast majority of people would be better off today.

You can imagine in another 20 years that would be different, but almost everyone is better off today than they were 20 years ago, and they will be even better 20 years from now than today.

Specific groups may have a harder time in one time period or another, but society at large is getting better at the world scale over the long term. Hope still exists.

[-] undefined@lemmy.hogru.ch 87 points 3 months ago

Maybe when it comes to social issues but when I read OP’s post I think of climate change and how it seems to be worsening at an increasing pace.

[-] dditty@lemmy.dbzer0.com 52 points 3 months ago

That and personal privacy and freedom from despotic and fascist government

[-] idiomaddict@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

I’m in my mid thirties and I’ve had a tough time the last few summers. I’m too hot to eat, causing nausea and reducing the amount of water I can drink without vomiting. I’m sure it puts a strain on my vital organs. I wonder how much it’s taking off of my life expectancy already and how much worse it will get over the next decades.

I don't even live in a (historically) warm place.

[-] PETE_OPSEC@piefed.social 24 points 3 months ago

I agree with almost all of this, but I think factoring in the imminent catastrophes we know are coming (and actively doing nothing about) will make a sizeable balance of this 'better off vast majority' of today.

The heaps of plastic tell a different story and define 'getting better' in a daunting light for those just now being born

[-] AmbiguousProps@lemmy.today 17 points 3 months ago

Climate change related disasters will only get worse over the long term, though.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] MidsizedSedan@lemmy.world 40 points 3 months ago

Windows 11 laptops requires a webcam. The internet now wants selfies to prove that you are a certain age.

The kids now will grow up thinking that this is normal. That is what I am worried about.

[-] NigelFrobisher@aussie.zone 15 points 3 months ago

That and the impending societal collapse from Climate Change lol

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] Goldholz 39 points 3 months ago

Very. I already dont see a bright future. People born today dont know anything but a broken world. Me being born 2003 atleast saw a slight bit of it

load more comments (7 replies)
[-] Redredme@lemmy.world 34 points 3 months ago

You are born in the very very very best stretch the human race has ever known.

We have solutions for almost every problem which exists today.

Wars are at an historical low point.

Chances are good you've never been even experienced war first hand.

Housing is expensive, yes. But chances are you're reading this on a couch or bed in a home, heated (or cooled), with a working stove, light at night and a fridge with edibles in it. And lets not talk about your immediate almost unrestricted access to all of human knowledge.

That would be unbelievable, impossible even during 99.9% of human history. (Or somewhere near this figure)

You should stop doomscrolling and start reading the real human history.

All of human knowledge at your fingertips. And this is what you chose to distill from it.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] tal@lemmy.today 30 points 3 months ago

No. I think that things have pretty steadily gotten better over time, and that a great deal of people being upset about now for any given now comes from a tendency to focus on negatives. Could be social media or news media tending to bring negatives to the surface because it drives engagement, political activists aiming to drive or leverage upset, or so forth.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Drusas@fedia.io 28 points 3 months ago

Very much so. I honestly think it's at least a little cruel and selfish to have a child in a dying world.

That said, I remain supportive of the parents in my life and I try to keep that feeling to myself--unless the parent brings it up (my cousin has two very young children whom he adores, but he also worries for their futures due to climate change and political instability, and he'll talk pretty openly with me about it).

[-] scrubbles@poptalk.scrubbles.tech 21 points 3 months ago

Climate change is the number one thing. The past had fascism, tools, slavery - but it didn't have an Extinction level event looming just cresting over the horizon. I'm not having any kids until there is actual meaningful progress towards fixing that... So it looks like I'm not having kids.

[-] obsoleteacct@lemmy.zip 11 points 3 months ago

Of course it did.

If not for the courage and conviction of Vasily Arkhipov, civilization, and potentially humanity, may have ended in 1964. People had kids for 30 years under the very real threat of nuclear extermination. In the end it turned out pretty well.

People had kids during the black plague.

While a climate crisis is more than just a threat, we don't know what's going to happen. We have ideas, and models, and educated guesses... But not knowledge.

I wouldn't tell anyone to have kids if they don't want to. But no one should plan their life around sparing a hypothetical person from the hypothetical struggles of a slow moving crisis we don't fully understand.

load more comments (13 replies)
[-] RIPandTERROR@sh.itjust.works 25 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

All the time. I fake being happy for the parents and on the inside think What the fuck is wrong with you?

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] Tuuktuuk@sopuli.xyz 21 points 3 months ago

My children are still very young, but oh are they happy!

They are enjoying their life and no future suffering will ever take that away from them.

I wouldn't want to deny those awesome humans their right to play as merrily as they do. To create, to enjoy life. They exist right now as well, in 2025 and 2026.

The end of life is always painful. Life is still worth it.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] BlackEco@lemmy.blackeco.com 21 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Considering that my outlook on the future is grim, I would say that I do, yes.

But on the other hand, when I look at my 3yo nephew and how my sister raises him, teaching him inclusiveness, limiting his exposure to screens as much as possible, and encouraging him to draw and go outdoors, it gives me some hope that maybe not all is lost.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] daniskarma@lemmy.dbzer0.com 20 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I think we are in for a very hard 30-50 years politically and economically speaking.

Current young people are already poorer than their parents, and that's not getting solved. Next generation will be poorer and we will have to factor in a lot of tensions and unsolved problems that I think will derive in violence, a lot of violence. And very heavy societal collapses.

Maybe I'm dramatic, but the other day I thought that's not unlikely that a "western" country will experience a famine in the next 50 years. Many don't produce enough food for themselves by far, the moment they don't have the money or the possibility to buy it from other countries... Starvation it is. And with a growing population getting near the 10 billion humans, a few years of globally bad crops could devastate humankind.

So, yep, I think kids today are in for really hard times.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] sbv@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago

Thirty-ish years ago, my grandfather said he felt sorry for me because of the state of the world.

Human nature is to say things are going to shit, everything is terrible, and things were better in some non-existent past.

Yeah, things suck now. But they also sucked thirty years ago and 100 years ago. The difference is that we know the outcome to (some) of the problems people faced then. And (generally) the worst case scenario didn't happen.

Yeah, we need to fight the rich on climate change. But we will. And we'll mitigate the problems we can. And we'll tell our grandkids that we don't envy their future.

[-] Artisian@lemmy.world 19 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

No. Only joy for the new parents and child. (Though I do put in work to shore up their finances, try to get them my next bonus.)

Several reasons: being a kid today is better than being a kid 20-50 years ago. Toys are cooler, parenting competence and training has broadly improved, minecraft exists, and there is some really good childrens TV.

Health risks are largely down, especially compared to 35 years ago. (Anecdotally about 10% of families around my cohort lost kids. Far fewer in the younger cohorts.)

While economic mobility is down, more people means a stronger voting block. Boomers run the world because their protests changed policy. I see indications that kids are a more competent politic than earlier generations (eg, climate and LGBTQ rights), we just need them to matter sooner.

For what it's worth, the economy is not just bad, it's breaking. If workers remain this exploited, there will soon be nobody to sell to. We are seeing large (usually stupid) interventions to try and address it, I put nontrivial odds on something sane eventually being tried.

War deaths are low and really don't seem likely to increase dramatically (see here).

Edit: I forgot to add LGBTQ rights/acceptance! While there are definitely still places that are not safe, many of them were not safe before (and that was just the status quo), I believe the risks have decreased and will continue to do so, while the medical access has improved (and that hopefully will continue, though I'm personally expecting that to get worse before it gets better. I think kids today probably get good care in 10 years, some kids 6-12 are in for a bad time.)

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] FenderStratocaster@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

All ye who enter abandon all hope

Seriously, you people are a bunch of cake eaters. "The future is scary and things are getting worse." It's always been scary, you've just been privileged enough for it not to be.

All I can think of is how bad theyre going to have it.

Bro, people have it bad NOW. Life is and has always been suffering and struggle. Get out of your online bubble and go see some shit. Anyone here who says their life outlook looks bleak would have said the exact same shit 30 years ago or even 100 years ago.

Life is suffering no matter when.

[-] Pyr_Pressure@lemmy.ca 16 points 3 months ago

I feel like most people today have kids just because they feel that's what they should be doing or because they just want a kid. I feel having kids is almost, incredibly selfish? If that makes sense.

[-] TwistedTurtle@sh.itjust.works 16 points 3 months ago

What an odd take. Reproducing is arguably the #1 motivation, and purpose, of all life on this planet. Biologically anyway. You're taking issue with a fundamental trait of life that's baked into our DNA.

May as well deem people selfish for wanting food and shelter too.

load more comments (3 replies)
[-] bstix@feddit.dk 16 points 3 months ago

I think things will make a turn in about ten years. Yes, climate is very critical, but the kids of today will have a better shot at shaping the world in a time when the last old ideas from the fossil fueled age have finally died.

It's going to get rough, but at least they have a chance of changing it. We never did get a chance, because the boomers were kept alive with improved healthcare. It's the same people who have all the wealth and power today as it was in 1980s.

So maybe Gen-X and millennials will be the next old assholes, but at least they're better educated and their views are much better aligned with younger generations than the old ones. We might finally be able to work together across generations politically in just a few years time. It's much needed, and it's hard work, but I envy the kids who get to be the creators of the post-boomer society.

[-] pugnaciousfarter@literature.cafe 20 points 3 months ago

We need more optimism, for sure. But I can't get my head around the idea that the new generation will be better than us.

The 70 years of relative stability has been exchanged by a few dickheads to make as much money over the expense of everyone as possible. Those people mean to keep it that way.

Even if I am being pessimistic, social media has made everything so depressing. We used to believe in continuous progress, we used to be excited about the future.

No, we have to funnel money to that lizard bot so he and his buddies can build their private bunkers because they know what they're doing is fucked up, but the money is too enticing.

[-] TheMinister@sh.itjust.works 11 points 3 months ago

Yeah the problem is with all the deregulation on generational wealth and workarounds for rich people to stockpile and keep their money, the offspring of the ruling class will be the same kind of assholes. Look at Sam Altman, he’s not old. Look at mark whateverthefuck. He’s not old. Now, those people didn’t exactly inherent their money, but you can’t tell me these guys won’t be around for the next 40 years fucking shit up. And their kids? And the kids of all the Murdochs, the bush kids, the Koch offspring…there are a lot of shitty families able to reproduce and spread their sickness. This isn’t going to wind down and give us a fresh start. These rich people will be protected by an increasingly violent state and they will all burn it down before they let it change. They’re not weakening over time. They’re amassing even more wealth and the regulations and ideas around capitalism are only getting more virulent and violent. We aren’t about to ride off into the sunset on the backs of a new generation. They are going to be focusing on surviving, more than we ever were.

[-] Strider@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Yes, climate change, microplatics in brains and balls and mountain fresh water and pollution all around.

Oh and forget about ever owning your house except you inherit.

And all of it is man-made.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] CanadaPlus@lemmy.sdf.org 15 points 3 months ago

Unclear. Maybe things are going to get better; it's happened before right?

It hasn't been all bad news lately, too. If you're not straight, cis, or from the the West, being a boomer wasn't such a great deal.

[-] mojofrododojo@lemmy.world 18 points 3 months ago

it’s happened before right?

not what we've done to the ecosystem. we're in entirely uncharted territory.

load more comments (9 replies)
[-] 58008@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

Honestly, I don't. I came up in the '80s, wasn't diagnosed with autism until 2022. My life would have been so different if I had known about it when I was a child, and if autism was as well-understood as it is today so that I had the support I needed. Kids today who have issue like that are identified much earlier and helped more. The steady march of knowledge and science is almost always a good thing. So, the present and the future are always the place to be for most people most of the time. Of course a Gazan isn't feeling the giddy excitement of scientific discovery at this moment, but for the human species as a whole, things have never been better. There is always someone suffering immense, unimaginable hardship. The human project is overwhelmingly not that.

Every generation has existential concerns, too. Climate change and the rise of fascism is on the cards right now. When I was a kid and adolescent in the '80s and '90s, I was in the middle of the N. Irish 'Troubles'. Before that, people had the Cold War to worry about. Before that, WWII and WWI. But things are always better than they were 'yesterday' if you take stock of everyone as a whole and not just those suffering the worst in any given moment.

If you took the average kid born today in an average society, and transplanted them into the 1970s with the same socioeconomic starting point, it would be tantamount to gross child abuse given the vast ocean of stuff they could have had, but now will never have (in their childhood, at least). And I'm not even talking about technology and the internet; just the treatment of children by the state and schools alone would be night-and-day different. Kids are individuals today, in the '70s you were your parents' property and didn't develop a sense-of-self worth respecting until you were old enough to get drunk.

I still wouldn't bring a kid into existence, but for those that are here already, 2025 is the best time to be born. Like if I were my parents, I would not have had me while the country was tearing itself apart with bombings and shootings every day. But I'm glad I was born when I was and not when my parents were kids.

[-] Feyd@programming.dev 21 points 3 months ago

IMO climate change is kind of a different beast than hardships from the past.

load more comments (6 replies)
[-] crapwittyname@feddit.uk 14 points 3 months ago

I choose not to. I can choose to be hopeful for the future without being unrealistic. I can see intrinsic value in human life and the human experience even knowing that every single one of us will die at some point, some peacefully, some during suffering. The moment of death doesn't have to define one's life. Even a baby who lives for six hours has spent infinitely more time living than dying. Would you be so nihilistic as to erase that life, just because it was short?

Your philosophy is valid; it's not necessarily correct.
Starting from the assumption that it is denies you the opportunity to see things from a different perspective.

[-] MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com 14 points 3 months ago

I'm not trying to doom on anyone's bloom here, but things are getting worse all around. Even if you ignore all of the political and social strife, and all of the war and terror, there's still the warming planet to contend with, and we don't have the magic technology to fix it 20 years ago yet.

As the planet gets warmer, resources will get tighter, people will be displaced, and that will only lead to further strife. Energy crisis, water shortages, famine. They're all guaranteed. We're in the cascade now.

Your future is about surviving now.

[-] Sanctus@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

If we dont pass the torch only the rich will. Is that a world we want to fortify? I'd rather not. Someone has to oppose them. Thats our and our children's fight as the world begins to wane.

[-] platypode@sh.itjust.works 20 points 3 months ago

That’s our fight—not our unborn childrens’.

Having a child for any purpose other than the flourishing and well-being of that child has always struck me as a deeply flawed decision. If your child doesn’t want to fight for a world they never knew, all you’ve birthed is misery.

load more comments (2 replies)
[-] MnemonicBump@lemmy.dbzer0.com 13 points 3 months ago

I can't wrap my head around this. I'm choosing not to have kids because I can't imagine explaining to them some day why I chose to bring them into the world.

load more comments (10 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[-] BackgrndNoize@lemmy.world 13 points 3 months ago

I was born in the 90s and I feel sad about being born to this day, can't imagine the poor kids who are gonna grow up now

[-] melsaskca@lemmy.ca 12 points 3 months ago

I think that, no matter when you were born in history, there were trials and tribulations.

[-] uhdeuidheuidhed@thelemmy.club 11 points 3 months ago

Not in the least.

You should look at people born in the past.

[-] Samsy@lemmy.ml 11 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

Born 1949 would be awesome. After world war, then Woodstock, cheap housing, fucked up the world with their plastics, dead before its getting hot. These mfs had the best timespan ever.

load more comments (4 replies)
[-] EndlessNightmare@reddthat.com 11 points 3 months ago

Absolutely yes I feel bad for them.

Some people will say that now is the best time to be alive, but I think we have hit our peak and are facing an ugly drop-off. Climate change is a big one, but I think that technology is quickly becoming detrimental to the average person because it is leading to a consolidation of wealth and power in the hands of fewer and fewer.

load more comments (1 replies)
[-] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 11 points 3 months ago

Yes, I felt a deep-seated disappointment when my siblings or friends announced their pregnancy. People like to spout the cliche that every generation is born into crisis but the conditions this one is inheriting are particularly dire.

load more comments
view more: next ›
this post was submitted on 21 Aug 2025
321 points (100.0% liked)

Ask Lemmy

35768 readers
1113 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions


Rules: (interactive)


1) Be nice and; have funDoxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them


2) All posts must end with a '?'This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?


3) No spamPlease do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.


4) NSFW is okay, within reasonJust remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].


5) This is not a support community.
It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.


6) No US Politics.
Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online


Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.

Partnered Communities:

Tech Support

No Stupid Questions

You Should Know

Reddit

Jokes

Ask Ouija


Logo design credit goes to: tubbadu


founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS