There's a local grocery store chain here that has the most bland tasting everything in their prepared food counter. You've never eaten such tasteless food in your life. Poor seasoning? Try none at all. Everything tastes like cardboard.

Want to simulate what it's like to eat food as a 30 year long habitual chain smoker, shop at Freson Bros.

Kellogg would cum his pants on the spot discovering such blandness could exist.

Their potato salad gave me depression. I didn't know you could make a calzone taste like the box it came in.

Sea urchin sushi.

Thoroughly unrecommended.

It was like someone boiled the souls of a thousand fish down into a paste and then let it ferment underground for a year. I was not prepared.

For the record it was part of a set multi course meal in a fancy Japanese restaurant - I didn't seek it out in particular.

surströmming, though i would classify it more as a bioweapon than food.

I grew up hating a lot of vegetables because my grandfather - who I'm sure meant well - used to boil the life out of them. Green beans or broccoli would be soft, mushy, and greyish (while the water became green), and taste like unseasoned sadness.

One day when I was in grade school in the year nineteen eighty-bad, the cafeteria served hot dogs which had gone greyish and we were all told it was fine. They smelled awful and made a bunch of kids sick.

Ordered indian takeout from a place in thr UK. The butter chicken tasted like they cooked a frozen chicken breast and strained a can of Spaghetti Os sauce over it.

Either live octopus or raw stingray. The former is chopped up and dipped in spicy sauce to make it writhe. The latter absolutely reeks of piss (stingrays are full of ammonia apparently). Silkworm larva are surprisingly delicious.

When I was in my twenties I met this girl. I got really sick, and she wanted to impress me and made soup. She knew nothing about cooking.

She boiled a chicken, did not separate anything. Chopped up a head of parsley and threw it in.

Then she served it to me with glistening eyes and a hopeful look. "I want you to feel better, I made soup for you".

It was just basically grey chicken fat with bones, cartilage, skin floating in it.

Boiled beef tongue, no seasoning. Taste/texture as you'd imagine.

Nothing tops the Jolly Rancher story.

Steve and his girlfriend Samantha went off to college in August. She went to Florida State, he went to Penn. So, she decides to fly to PA to visit him. He was really happy to see her so he decided to give her some oral action.

He had done this numerous times before and he always enjoyed doing it...but for some reason, this time, she smelled really horrible, and she tasted even worse. He didn't want to offend her though because he hadn't seen her in months...so he put a Jolly Rancher in his mouth to cover it up, even though it didn't do much to help.

In the course of eating her out, he accidentally pushed the candy inside of her... and stuck a finger in to grab it out. He took it out, and put it back into his mouth and bit it. Only...it wasn't the Jolly Rancher.

It was a nodule of gonorrhea.

As in, the blister-like structure that gonorrhea makes filled with diseased pus was the size of a fucking Jolly Rancher and the poor guy BIT it. I guess it was really dark in the room. He freaked out and started vomiting all over the place when it exploded in his mouth...

He demanded to know what was going on, turns out she had cheated on him at a club like, the first week of college, and fucked some random guy and the stupid bitch had no clue what was wrong with her. She noticed a strange smell though.

So now, Steve is freaking out that he now has gonorrhea of the mouth and God knows what else.

Source: https://www.reddit.com/r/AskReddit/comments/9wcte/comment/c0er6q4/

a durian

Worked for a Japanese company and visited the head office in Tokyo. One of the more senior managers took us to his favorite local sea food restaurant.

I hate seafood. Especially when it's fancy and you get baby squid that looks like they were just fresh out of the water with no preparation etc (part of the "fancy"). However, culturally I had absolutely no possibility to do anything but eat, smile and praise. The courses just kept coming, each one being more disgusting than the last.

almost ate raccoon that dads friend caught in traps.

I made pancakes once. I didn’t know the difference between baking powder and baking soda. It tasted like chewing aluminum foil or licking a 9v battery.

I’m generally not allowed in the kitchen.

Bitter gourd curry. Was so so so bitter. I'll bet it tastes different to different folks.

Reminds me of a migraine medicine. I have to eat candy for a few hours after taking that.

Couple months ago I got a tonsillectomy. I got nerve damage in my tongue as a side effect of a tool they used and everything tastes different since. Tomato based pasta sauces have been the absolute worst, it tastes very metallic. The only normal type of food I can stand is Asian food that isn't breaded/fried.

Durian fruit. That is the most vile thing I have ever tasted and the after taste lasted for like 5 hours.

That shit is fucking evil.

I've eaten chicken feet, haggis, blood pudding, sisig, century egg, durian, dinuguan, tripe and tongue tacos, frog legs, snails, alligator, whole softshell crab, and probably a few more delights that I ought to remember. The only one I absolutely cannot stomach is the century egg.

Camel fat. It tastes like how a camel smells.

Mashed potatoes from KFC. It just tastes like an empty sadness.

Preface: All seafood makes me violently ill. I wish it weren't so, but here we are.

While living in Switzerland we went to an ikea and found what I thought to be spreadable cheese in a toothpaste type tube. For reference lots of stuff over there comes in those types of tubes. Why not cheese?

I was so excited to get home and immediately tore the cap off and squeezed a giant dollop of what my mouth expected to be something like cheez whiz.

NOPE. NOPE FUCKING NOPE. It was some kind of fish paste with roe...

I puked for like 30 minutes straight and couldn't get that taste out of my mouth until we found some kirsch liqueur that I also hate, but whose taste will overpower anything.

Picture related: The culprit

Kimchi.

Unripe persimmon. I can't even say it has a flavor, more a sensation of your face trying to implode into your mouth. Bitterness is an insufficient descriptor for it. That's part of it, but also your mouth feels dry in a way that defies belief. It's like being stuck on the dentist's vacuum too long.

I was warned off natto.

It's funny, I can think of the worst drink (I dislike Negroni to the point I don't even understand how people like it, so intensely sweet and bitter and nothing else)

and the worst perfume (Im Nebbel, smelled like burning rubber) but food, all I can think of is the time my ex made a spaghetti with a sauce of yellow tomatoes that looked exactly like vomit, and when I was trying to eat it, commented that he thought it was "a little loose" and I just lost it, could not eat it, though it didn't taste awful.

Worst restaurant food was a Mexican place in San Antonio, got a chicken mole and the mole was made with sweetened chocolate chips; an enchilada with American cheese slice was another highlight of that meal, it was comically bad.