Some of us are old enough to have a functional pre-enshittifation Brother B/W laser printer off in a dark corner of the house. It waits. It bides its time. It has a toner cartridge from the Obama administration.

Today’s greybeards might show the youngins their old box of punch cards.

The next generation, in addition to many elders wearing cat ears instead of beards, will astonish the junior engineers by clicking print and it just works!! No App? No account? No subscriptions? No driver installation? No giant bloated utility pack that installed itself when you just asked for drivers? Wait and it did that over Wi-Fi?!?! It can connect to the internet and it still does the things you ask it to do?

Whoa whoa whoa, and you don’t even have your printer gun here! How are you going to shoot it when it starts making new noises after a shady forced update?