143
Why are Dutch children the world’s happiest? A teenager weighs in (edition.cnn.com)
submitted 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago) by Davriellelouna@lemmy.world to c/world@lemmy.world
27 comments fedilink hide all child comments
top 27 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[-] QuarterSwede@lemmy.world 67 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

So, if both American and Dutch parents value independence, why do Dutch kids seem so much happier? I wonder if the key difference lies in how both sets of parents understand what freedom for kids looks like.

“Dutch parenting is all about raising self-sufficient kids,” Tracy told me. “My older two (ages 12 and 14) bike more than 10 kilometers (6 miles) daily to school since there are no school buses.

“If a teacher cancels a class, students just have free time instead of a substitute. My 14-year-old had two canceled classes this morning and simply stayed home until noon. This would be a logistical nightmare for schools and parents if we didn’t just expect our kids to sort it out.”

Dutch parenting, according to the close to a dozen parents in the Netherlands I spoke with, emphasizes allowing children a freedom of movement that many American kids don’t have. When I was in Haarlem and Amsterdam, bikes and little kids on bikes were everywhere.

Good article. We moved to an open concept neighborhood (low open fences, not “privacy” style) and the kids have a lot of movement around the neighborhood since it’s safe, and it has a lot of trails, wide sidewalks, and bike lanes. Yes, it’s more affluent. They’ve definitely been a lot happier than our last house where privacy fences were everywhere. They made friends a lot faster and seem to know everyone.

[-] dogslayeggs@lemmy.world 10 points 3 weeks ago

I grew up in the suburbs of a midwestern city, where we could run into the woods to play army or ride bikes in a closed neighborhood (not gated, just no through traffic) or walk from yard to yard with no fences except for houses with pools or walk to the next neighborhood over. We were free to explore as long as we didn't cross certain streets and came home by dark. We walked to the bus stop to go to school.

Contrast that to where I live now in a major metropolitan city where kids never see "the woods", can't safely ride bikes anywhere but bike paths, have tall privacy fences blocking both socializing but also blocking multi-yard sports areas, have no "neighborhoods," and have to be driven by parents in a car directly to school (where they have to wait in a line of 100 cars to pick up kids everyday). How can kids ever become self sufficient? They have to be parented every minute of their lives until they are 16. It's wild.

But that is in the US. When I visit Europe there are kids by themselves on the subway going wherever a 10 year old needs to go.

[-] LilB0kChoy@midwest.social 2 points 3 weeks ago

Honestly that quote sounds a lot like my childhood in Minnesota in the late 80s and early 90s.

Some of that might be rosy retrospection but I wonder how much this has changed in the US over the years.

[-] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 36 points 3 weeks ago

In suburban North America... steps outside you have nothing but roads with cars going 50km/h+, no shops or cafes to walk to because of zoning laws, maybe a small park a 15 minute walk away.

You have to have your parents take you places, you cannot go anywhere alone. In the USA you also have to worry about potential shooters because people play fast and loose with gun laws there.

[-] atticus88th@lemmy.world 6 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

As often as shootings are in headlines. Do the vast majority teenagers across the U.S. ever encounter a shooting in their lifetime?

I have a feeling the media might be blowing it out of proportion and any time someone throws a statistic it includes urban areas where gun crimes have always been a daily occurrence.

Or were you just making small talk?

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 9 points 3 weeks ago

Shootings happen here way more than they make headlines! The media unreports it. Yes kids are exposed to this, it's fucking real. Where are you getting your "feeling" from? US has a terrible gun violence problem.

[-] sleepmode@lemmy.world 3 points 3 weeks ago

Yep we have on average 125 shootings that result in fatalities per day and 2 mass shootings.

[-] Rentlar@lemmy.ca 5 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

In Scarborough, Canada where I grew up, shootings occur once every few years at the malls I go to, a library or neighbourbood park I've been to or like yeah even if i don't get a gun pointed at me in my life, knowing that shootings have happened in places I've been to is harrowing to know. In the US, it happens several times a year in many neighbourhoods. Compare Chicago and Toronto, cities of similar size and climate, one has 2726 per year shootings, the other has 461...

When mass shootings happen regularly, and knowing that gun ownership is ubiquitous (rather than largely connected to presumably illicit criminal weapons), active shooter drills are as commonplace as fire drills worldwide, it's a structural fear, of course we're not paralyzingly afraid all the time, but it's built into peoples' upbringing. The effects bubble up in other areas and affect overall happiness.

[-] njm1314@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

A lifetime is a pretty long time. With the number of gun related incidents every day in America the odds are certainly not negligible.

[-] poopkins@lemmy.world 5 points 3 weeks ago

Let me get this straight: your position on this is that the issue is only worth even talking about when on average, each American experiences a shooting at least once? Or are you just making small talk?

[-] crimsonpoodle@pawb.social 4 points 3 weeks ago

I dunno I was a teenager last decade; sure people got anxious when there were the drills, but mostly people are desensitized to it.

It’s sorta like hearing about a fire in a far off place, or an earthquake, it could happen here, and that would be scary, and you feel bad, but at the end of the day if you let yourself worry about it you would just be in a constant state of panic.

So you talk a bit about legislation afterward and then go back to worrying about finding a job that pays a living wage. Since that economic catastrophe is not, as in the former case, a matter of statistical bad luck but an approaching inevitability.

[-] LilB0kChoy@midwest.social 4 points 3 weeks ago

maybe a small park a 15 minute walk away

This is really dependent on where you live in the US. I just checked and the house I grew up in was within a 15 minute or less walk of 7 parks and 15 minutes isn't really that far to walk. Especially in the US.

[-] pawnstorm@lemmy.world 29 points 3 weeks ago

It’s hard to overstate the impact cars have on childhood. As a parent I’m not worried about some rando snatching my kid, I’m worried about someone hitting them with a car. There are so many places in the US where it is unsafe to walk, and there’s a reason why our traffic deaths are going up while the rest of the world’s are going down.

I’m active in trying to make my city a place where kids can have the freedom to explore and grow, but it definitely feels like a “planting a tree the shade of which you will never know” situation.

[-] YorickX@feddit.nl 11 points 3 weeks ago

Keep planting those trees, you might not enjoy the shade but can appreciate the grass growing around it.

[-] winkly@lemmy.world 19 points 3 weeks ago

Bike Culture > car culture

[-] sinnsykfinbart@lemmy.world 15 points 3 weeks ago

But seriously, wear a helmet. I just saw an elderly dude crash with a young lady, both on bikes, today in Harderwijk. He was bleeding from his head, and he wasn’t even going fast

[-] Gsus4@mander.xyz 3 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

I saw a lady carrying 3 kids in a bakfiets...no helmets...because it's that naturally safe. It's like water to a fish...

[-] Cheradenine@sh.itjust.works 12 points 3 weeks ago

Stroopwafel

[-] YorickX@feddit.nl 4 points 3 weeks ago

o7

[-] Gsus4@mander.xyz 10 points 3 weeks ago* (last edited 3 weeks ago)

yeah, this is a direct result of the greatest victory against car culture by Dutch moms in the 70s. Car brain makes you dependent on a whole compact of ideology, industry and city planning that keeps people dependent on cars. You are only a "full human" when you get your driver's licence and can afford fuel (priced according to whatever war is going on in the world at the moment).

[-] ExLisper@lemmy.curiana.net 2 points 3 weeks ago

"Why do Dutch children claim to be world's happiest?" Is it because they are told that they should self-report as happy and are obedient? Yes.

[-] HK65@sopuli.xyz 14 points 3 weeks ago

What is your source for that?

[-] comrade_twisty@feddit.org 17 points 3 weeks ago

He grew up having the freedom to make shit up.

[-] WanderingThoughts@europe.pub 11 points 3 weeks ago

Haha. If you ask Dutch children what they think about something, you'll get brutal honestly on the edge of offending.

[-] jjpamsterdam@feddit.org 4 points 3 weeks ago

As a Dutch person living abroad (even though only in neighbouring Germany) it's true that our directness is sometimes seen as impoliteness. Most Dutch people I know mean absolutely no offence and just say out loud what they are thinking. Somehow many other countries prefer to skirt around uncomfortable direct communication.

[-] HobbitFoot@thelemmy.club 2 points 3 weeks ago

What's a Dutch woman going to say when you ask for her sign?

Stop.

[-] YorickX@feddit.nl 7 points 3 weeks ago

It's actually the opposite! There is such an investment into the independence of the youth here that children feel generally more comfortable expressing their feelings.

this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
143 points (100.0% liked)

World News

48732 readers
1948 users here now

A community for discussing events around the World

Rules:

Similarly, if you see posts along these lines, do not engage. Report them, block them, and live a happier life than they do. We see too many slapfights that boil down to "Mom! He's bugging me!" and "I'm not touching you!" Going forward, slapfights will result in removed comments and temp bans to cool off.

We ask that the users report any comment or post that violate the rules, to use critical thinking when reading, posting or commenting. Users that post off-topic spam, advocate violence, have multiple comments or posts removed, weaponize reports or violate the code of conduct will be banned.

All posts and comments will be reviewed on a case-by-case basis. This means that some content that violates the rules may be allowed, while other content that does not violate the rules may be removed. The moderators retain the right to remove any content and ban users.

Lemmy World Partners

News !news@lemmy.world

Politics !politics@lemmy.world

World Politics !globalpolitics@lemmy.world

Recommendations

For Firefox users, there is media bias / propaganda / fact check plugin.

https://addons.mozilla.org/en-US/firefox/addon/media-bias-fact-check/

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
NewsAutoMod@lemmy.world
jordanlund@lemmy.world
Tenthrow@lemmy.world
little_cow@lemmy.world
lemmyAtom@lemmy.world