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submitted 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago) by Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I dont remember the age, but it was before Kindergarten, thought men came into the house at night to load the next days shows into the TV.

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[-] TokenBoomer@lemmy.world 187 points 1 year ago

I thought adults actually knew what the hell they were doing.

[-] who8mydamnoreos@lemmy.world 37 points 1 year ago

I always had a suspicion but when I became an adult it was so much worse than I thought

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[-] Lettuceeatlettuce@lemmy.ml 127 points 1 year ago

I thought that when the clerk at the checkout asked, "would you like cash back?" That you could say yes and they would just give you cash straight out of the register for nothing lol.

I figured that most people were very honest and didn't need the money, so they would just say no thanks and leave it in the register for somebody who really did need it.

[-] Mothra@mander.xyz 39 points 1 year ago

Similarly, I thought one could get more money by asking for change. You give one bill, you get more bills and coins in return, it's gotta be more, right?

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[-] 11181514@lemm.ee 110 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

So many things...

I didn't understand how lie detectors were supposed to work so I thought you could hook someone up and ask something like "does god exist" and you'd be able to get answers to all of life's big mysteries.

I thought there was a left and right sock

I thought wolverines were mythical creatures

I thought if I tried hard enough I could somehow become older than my older brother like it was just a title or something

Thanks to DARE any time I saw a skittle with the S missing I thought it was drugs even in a newly opened package

I could go on..

[-] Sybilvane@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago

I wanted an older sibling as a child and I remember trying to convince my parents they should have another baby. In my mind, if I just waited (my age +1) years, I'd then have an older sibling. It never ocurred to me that I would also age during that time...

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[-] boatswain@infosec.pub 96 points 1 year ago

I remember thinking that women gave birth to girls and men gave birth to boys, and being really worried because I (as a guy) didn't want to give birth.

[-] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 56 points 1 year ago

I'm seeing several posts that are startling evidence for the essential nature of proper sex education, lol.

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[-] atlasraven31@lemm.ee 89 points 1 year ago

I thought CEOs worked super hard

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[-] TrenchcoatFullofBats@belfry.rip 83 points 1 year ago

My dad told me that walnuts were owl eggs.

He got in trouble when I stole all the walnuts in the house and wrapped them in nose tissues to keep them warm so they would hatch and I would have baby owls.

[-] luthis@lemmy.nz 44 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

... nose tissues? You mean, just regular tissues? Did your dad lie to you about tissues too??

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[-] GCanuck@lemmy.world 81 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I was trying to figure out what caused wind. I noticed the leaves moving when the wind blew, and I knew that a fan (handheld) also moved wind. So it stood to reason that trees moved causing the leaves to move which caused the wind. And naturally it must be earthquakes that caused the tree to love. And then I thought, we’ll there must be a master tree that started the wind, and the most “logical” place for that tree would be the North Pole.

So, that there was a tree on the North Pole that caused all the wind.

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[-] Sterile_Technique@lemmy.world 79 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

That sheep and goats were same species. I thought sheep were the girl versions and goats were the boys, like hens and roosters.

Wasn't until well into my 20s that I finally ran into something that put the spotlight on it... IIRC it was some Farmville type of videogame, which included males and females of both sheep and goats. To me, that stood out the same way a "female bull" or "male cow" would have, so I had a little chuckle at the obvious 'oversight'. Realized shortly after that I was, in fact, a fucking idiot.

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[-] ChaoticEntropy@feddit.uk 65 points 1 year ago

That adult humans knew what they were doing and had things in hand.

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[-] spankinspinach@sh.itjust.works 59 points 1 year ago

I thought black and what television was black and white because history happened in black and white. I suppose that means life in colour happened after the invention of colour tv

[-] atlasraven31@lemm.ee 31 points 1 year ago

The invention of color was a big deal

[-] JohnObvious@lemmy.world 61 points 1 year ago

One of my favorite Calvin and Hobbies about this topic.

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[-] CorrodedCranium@leminal.space 53 points 1 year ago

I thought cats were female and dogs were male. Can you tell I didn't have pets growing up?

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[-] arby@lemmy.world 53 points 1 year ago

When I was five or six, I think I must have dreamed that my dad could turn his head around 360 degrees. A few days later I was in the car with my Dad and asked him if he could really turn his head around. He responded "not now, I'm driving." I took that as a yes. It was years before I realized the truth...

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[-] Fizz@lemmy.nz 51 points 1 year ago

If you were cold then you would catch a cold.

You had to wait an hour after eating because if you swam after eating then you would sink.

Carrots will allow me to see in the dark if I eat enough of them.

If you did a bad thing then the universe would make a bad thing happen to you.

If you dropped food on the ground and picked it up quick enough it didn't have germs.

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[-] Azhad@lemmy.world 51 points 1 year ago

I used to believe in God, that was super stupid looking back.

[-] troglodytis@lemmy.world 48 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Grew up on a dairy goat farm. I noticed we ate most of the boys and kept all the girls.

I was so scared; I had to ask my mom which one of me and my brothers were they gonna keep.

[-] iHUNTcriminals@lemm.ee 48 points 1 year ago

Being a hard worker gets you places.

[-] Hexadecimalkink@lemmy.ml 47 points 1 year ago

The USA was the good guys.

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[-] Wooly@startrek.website 45 points 1 year ago

I believed until I was 8 or so that beans were a type of meat. When I learned the truth, I had an argument with my older brother with me saying something along the line, "You're gonna feel real dumb when Mom says I'm right."

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[-] ch00f@lemmy.world 43 points 1 year ago

I remember asking my dad if the Earth ever got heavier besides when meteors landed and babies were born.

I couldn’t comprehend that babies were made out of food. I thought they just came from nothing.

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[-] scytale@lemm.ee 43 points 1 year ago

There was a coca cola plant in my hometown. When we were kids, my dad used to tell us that the huge water tanks that were painted as coke and sprite cans actually contained soda and I always imagined diving in them. Obviously he was just fucking with us, but I actually believed it for a while.

[-] opux030@feddit.de 41 points 1 year ago

Adults act mature and rationally

[-] kense@lmmy.dk 40 points 1 year ago

That God was real and had existed for all eternity.

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[-] vettnerk@lemmy.ml 40 points 1 year ago

That me parents didn't have parents growing up. It somehow never dawned on me until I was like 7 that my grandparents were their parents, despite knowing my grandparents all my life.

[-] spitz@lemmy.ml 40 points 1 year ago

I thought peas were little unborn animals. Because they had a "cocoon". Refused to eat peas for years.

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[-] chicken@lemmy.dbzer0.com 37 points 1 year ago

That your tongue is divided into segments which each can only taste certain flavors

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[-] agamemnonymous@sh.itjust.works 37 points 1 year ago

Actors have to be married to kiss on screen

[-] MrFunnyMoustache@lemmy.one 35 points 1 year ago

When I was a little kid and went to a store with my father, the registry had a ton of small coins and I assumed the guy behind the counter was super rich, because my dad had 5 or 6 coins in his wallet, and the guy had hundreds of coins. When my dad asked for change, and got a bunch of coins, I assumed the man was very generous and donated his money to my dad.

[-] beteljuice@lemmy.ml 34 points 1 year ago

Learned about cremation before I learned about death. Thought we all were burned alive at the end.

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[-] thanevim@kbin.social 34 points 1 year ago

Because radio stations' DJs would say "and here's artist with song name", I firmly believed that one of two things must be true:

Radio stations had the bands always playing live for them

And/or

Radio stations would present a local DJ, but they would then tune in to the artist playing the track live for a larger station

What's even funnier about this is that my dad has at the time taught me how to use a tape deck to record radio and CDs to tape. So I clearly understood recording mediums. Just, the idea still lingered in my mind for a while.

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[-] SnokenKeekaGuard@lemmy.dbzer0.com 33 points 1 year ago

Believed this until I was like 16 and so did everyone else in our school.

A girl did anal and got pregnant and since it was anal that got her pregnant she was gonna poop out the baby. Funny thing is I was part of the group conversation that started this rumor and STILL we all believed it. 😭

[-] Dubious_Fart@lemmy.ml 43 points 1 year ago

There has never been a bigger argument for the essential need for proper sex education.

[-] toototabon@lemmy.ml 33 points 1 year ago

Homer Simpson wrote The Odyssey. I didn't know about any other Homer 🤷‍♂️

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[-] woobie@lemmy.world 33 points 1 year ago

I thought that cars were powered by the jet propulsion coming from the exhaust pipe.

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[-] Stalinwolf@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago

I thought when my mom said she would drop things off at Goodwill, she meant a giant, hollow wooden wheel full of tumbling clothing called Good Wheel. I imagined it looked a lot like a water wheel at a mill.

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[-] selokichtli@lemmy.ml 32 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

NSFW warning. I thought sex had to be anal. Just by the looks, it was impossible that a penis could pass through a vulva, and poop made it evident that it could pass through the rectum.

OP, that thing you used to believe is disturbing as fuck.

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[-] zemja@programming.dev 32 points 1 year ago

I used to think "euthanasia" was a country.

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[-] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 32 points 1 year ago

I thought vaginas were just hiding 20-30 tiny miniature penises inside, and that's why they couldn't use urinals because it would spray everywhere

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[-] techgearwhips@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

Also, that all cats were girls and all dogs were boys.

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[-] thorbot@lemmy.world 31 points 1 year ago

That god was real and he actually gave a fuck about me

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this post was submitted on 09 Sep 2023
455 points (100.0% liked)

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