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Anon has a dream (discuss.online)
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[-] latenightnoir 153 points 1 year ago

She ๐Ÿ‘ Is ๐Ÿ‘ Cuddling ๐Ÿ‘ With ๐Ÿ‘ You ๐Ÿ‘ She ๐Ÿ‘ Wants ๐Ÿ‘ Emotional ๐Ÿ‘ Stability ๐Ÿ‘ First ๐Ÿ‘!!!

Dunno if I used this meme correctly, but I did feel the need for it... I miss cuddling so damned much...

[-] koper@feddit.nl 59 points 1 year ago

Yep. If anything, this is an opportunity for the guy to show that he's not just in it for the sex.

When I date men, one of the main things I look for is how they handle rejection.

[-] latenightnoir 25 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

While I'm not all that keen on the concept of testing partners (this coming from someone who can roughly be described as a cishet guy), I do agree that it is a good indicator of both maturity and intent.

Edit: what I mean by my first statement is that I don't think one needs to test their partner with anything. Just be true with yourself, say no when you feel like saying no, say yes when you feel like saying yes, and take what is given as it is given (i.e. no making excuses for them if no excuses are organically evident).

[-] porous_grey_matter@lemmy.ml 28 points 1 year ago

I don't think they meant "testing" them like it's some kind of game, hardly anyone does that and yeah it's fucked up when they do.

It's just, how do they handle it when you say no, do they moan about it and act entitled or just understand you're a human being who doesn't feel like sex literally all the time. That's a real good piece of evidence to how this person actually views you and their relationship to you.

[-] latenightnoir 6 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

Fair point, may be a cognitive bias of mine. Once burnt, twice shy and all that. I apologise for misunderstanding, and thank you for pointing it out! Truly!

And, yep, 100% behind you. I'd say compatibility in general shows best when dealing with unpleasantness, because being couch potatoes together will always be the lowest common denominator, so to speak.

[-] Rose_Thorne@lemmy.zip 27 points 1 year ago

Given it's a dream, there could be some interpretation that the OOP is craving emotional stability.

His own subconscious doesn't even want to have mindless pleasure anymore, but comfort. He denies himself because he doesn't truly want sex, but the stability of deep, emotional contact.

[-] latenightnoir 6 points 1 year ago

Agreed, I, too, have come to believe that dreams are basically the subconscious' attempts at contextualising significant emotional conundrums or cognitive dissonances, and, if not an indicator of OP's desire for intimacy, it seems to be at least a clear indicator that their subconscious is beginning to be aware of the problem.

Such a pity that so many people who reach this emotional threshold with themselves swing, instead, to shills and bootlickers who just want to propagate any and all forms of unhealthy relationships...

[-] kaeurenne@lemmy.kadaikupi.space 2 points 1 year ago

Because I think sexuality is too much to be asked for. She needs marriage, responsibility, pledge for the commitment by the man also.

[-] latenightnoir 4 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

I think that comes down to individual preferences, to be honest. Some people, yeah, want the whole kit and kaboodle of stability before anything horizontal takes place. Others just want to establish an emotional relationship beforehand, while others are fine jumping in straight from the go, so to speak. And I genuinely think every variant is fine, we just have to take people at their word and respect their desires as much as possible, sometimes by letting each other go.

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 57 points 1 year ago

Doesn't sound like a loser. Sounds like someone that just needs to ask again tomorrow and maybe moods will be more aligned.

[-] SitD@lemy.lol 33 points 1 year ago

bro the problem is tomorrow's dream is probably a ww1 trench again, you don't get to pick the nice ones ๐Ÿ˜‚

[-] Zacryon@feddit.org 29 points 1 year ago

Being in a consentful intimate relationship is being a loser?

Not directly having sex = losing? Sounds like a distorted and unhealthy perspective on relationships to me.

[-] MystikIncarnate@lemmy.ca 11 points 1 year ago

What a loser.

Asking for consent then respecting the answer he's given.... Real Alphas grab them by the pussy! They like that. ( /s obv.)

[-] stevedice@sh.itjust.works 1 points 1 year ago

I'm guessing the loser was in reference to his advances being rejected even in his own dream.

[-] OmegaLemmy@discuss.online 2 points 1 year ago

replace her with him

[-] hanrahan@slrpnk.net 2 points 1 year ago

Grab 'em by the pussy anon and then go on to be President!

this post was submitted on 08 Jun 2025
569 points (100.0% liked)

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