Schizophrenia isn't real and you are the way you are because of social anxiety.

NO! THE PHYSIOLOGICAL EVIDENCE MATTER! I DON'T CARE ABOUT SCANS OF THE NEOCORTEX! THESE ~~100~~ 77 CASES THAT WE CHERRY-PICKED FOR THEIR RESULTS ARE ALL THE EVIDENCE I NEED TO MAKE MY CASE!

YOU'RE WORSE THEN THE TENURE COMMITEE!

I HOPE ALL YOUR PETS DIE AND YOU KILL YOURSELF!

It seems like you escape your inner conflicts by being industrious.

Not professional advice but instead of going, you could halt posting for a moment and focus on your breathing. It will assure you that you are safe, and you can let the conflicts become a bit more aware without feeling overwhelmed by the terror. Do this for some time and you create the space to transform your conflicts.

I shouldn't be paranoid about him double billing me/my insurance.

Not all therapists are good ones.

Check out some DBT / cbt techniques on YouTube or the like, whatever is easiest to access, find some that resonate with you and make them your own / tweak them so they fit your life / vibe.

I did a DBT course, and while I hated every minute of it, a lot of it is super great and hugely helpful for coping in hard moments and a great recipe for a way of living that's more calm and balanced. I feel like I hated the DBT course I did because the people presenting it had never even stumbled on a rock in their lives, let alone lived through a hard moment and needed any of this stuff for real, and their privilege read as saccharine condescension.

BUT! I'm never one to throw the baby out with the bath water, I believe you can turn anything to your advantage or upskill or just build knowledge, if you're industrious enough! You take those muthafking lemons and you make champagne, fk them. Plus they just mostly showed us clips on YouTube, so lol. The DBT course I did felt more like the break room from severance, having to admit how faulty you are and how this new enlightening thing they just told you seconds ago is going to benefit your life, as they announce each section. They didn't even give you time to process, let alone leave room for if that was something you already knew or already utilized, but, I powered through and just paid lip-service, got my upskill, moved on.

Easier path, just look up DBT on YouTube, find people explaining what you like, give it a go on a regular basis.

Try something other than amex cards.

Life doesn't happen on your schedule.

My father once said don't stick your dick in crazy.

It's one of the more true and less offensive things he told me.

Whisper posts shudders

Headspace app, omega 3 supplements, amphetamine, CPAP machine

They always tell me "sorry, you're too complex, go somewhere else"

I can't heal you. You have to learn how to manage your situation. That I would be glad to help you with.

I know she said it differently but that's how I remember it. I've never been so terrified in my life but she helped me (so far) to get really excited for change.

"We're raising our hourly rates"

Whatever assumptions you have about the universe and other people are wrong. They all want to connect and love/be loved.

Go live your life. Make some mistakes worth talking about then come back.

Still working on it. Turns out all the stuff I was so scared to do with my life wasn't so dangerous after all.

"never challenge worse"

Maybe a change of scenery will do you some good.

sleep just take a nap an do things when you wake up an listen to music