Beating the earpiece against the metal pay phone and not even a scuff mark.

Reminds me of the first time I worked in a newsroom in the early 2000s. When the repeated slamming wasn't enough, the whole phone would go flying across the office. I, unfortunately, had the desk by the wall, in the prime firing line. My reflexes became boss in those first 3 months.

"YOU'RE AN INANIMATE OBJECT!!!"

Answering on flip phones was equally boss. When you master that perfect wrist flip where you can just crack the hinge a little with your thumb and let the flip do the rest of the work.

So satisfying every time.

sadly just once, (don't) ask me how I know.

I’m 30 but never got used to the feeling of modern smartphones against out ears.

I'm almost 5 decades into this weird mess and yeah, I still am not that comfortable with sliding a cold, smooth, oily, touch-screen with all kinds of sensitive buttons and screen options across my ear when having a phone call. I've always hated it compared to the comfort of an old corded-phone speaker that was pleasantly curved for privacy and had a solid, comfortable handle. You could throw that thing against the wall, drop it while you're talking, set it down for an hour and forget about it (for those kinds of calls.)

On the other hand, I almost never get phone calls anymore. People straight up stopped calling each other. I get maybe one a week at work, but even there most calls are scheduled Teams or Zoom calls. People hate talking to each other given the choice, everyone has withdrawn to a world of text messages and private discord servers.

Not saying things were better in the old days, but this is a major factor in our societal de-socialization crisis.

There are several reasons why people don't call each other nowadays. This is one.

beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

"....so, anyway, as i was say--"

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOP

"..."

"AND NEVER CALL ME AGAIN!" slam

ding

"You know how some people use a bell slowly fading out as a meditation tool? That's the association I have for that sensation."

Oh man, this comparison is going to stick with me; it's one of my favourite things I've read in recent weeks

Nah bro, they actually felt it. You probably never got slammed so you don't know, but the person on the other end would suddenly fly across the room like a truck hit them, that's why we saved the phone slam for when someone REALLY deserved it. Good times.

Like straight down? On what kind of surface?

I spiked the fuck out of an old Nokia in like 2093 against the carpeted floor in my office. Sadly I slightly cracked the corner of where the battery case met the phone. The phone still worked but the battery wouldn’t stay connected. Sometimes I feel like I’m the only person on the internet who ever broke a Nokia.

The phone would, but the wall impacted would have a hole

I use a desk phone every day in my office.

Yup! Most are office phones and don't make the most satisfying part. When you made the bell on the phone ring you slammed it so hard.

There's a pizza place in the nearby city that has almost the same number as mine, there's just one number difference. For the last few years I've been answering numbers I don't know as the pizza place. When they ask for me I act frustrated and say,

"look I'll tell you what I tell all the other telemarketers, you bought a bad list and got the number for a pizza place. "my name" doesn't work here, and never has. Now do me a favor and drop this number, I'm getting sick of giving this speech 10 times a day".

If they haven't hung up by that point, which they usually have, I say have a good day then hang up. I've noticed my spam calls have significantly dropped off after starting this, maybe it's coincidence and they're dropping my number because it's not generating income, but just in case it is working I'm going to keep doing it.