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[-] slippyferret 49 points 3 months ago

Can they add a little speaker and have it play some smooth jazz when unzipping?

[-] ouRKaoS@lemmy.today 10 points 3 months ago

All my zippers play Careless Whisper

[-] XeroxCool@lemmy.world 4 points 3 months ago

AI instructions unclear, brass instruments coming right up

Ska intensifies

[-] Jolteon@lemmy.zip 2 points 3 months ago

Ash fell from the sky.

[-] pulsewidth@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Playing Smooth Jazz Funeral by Collapsed Lung

[-] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 4 points 3 months ago

Zzzzzz bow chicka bow wow zzzzzzzzzzz bow chicka bow zzzzzzzzip

[-] DancingBear@midwest.social 2 points 3 months ago

Remote control zipper porn, yes!

[-] pirat@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

I usually do some zip-hop vinyl scratching, which my audience generally seems to have a stronger reaction to, as they'll usually do some breakdancing, drugs etc.

[-] EvacuateSoul@lemmy.world 43 points 3 months ago

I was surprised they were talking about an industrial use for it. I would think this would also be a great accessibility feature.

[-] 01189998819991197253@infosec.pub 25 points 3 months ago

Before being an accessibility product, the tech has to prove itself. I wouldn't want to be the guinea pig for a product that could, if malfunctions, trap me in my jacket. But, yes, once proven, this would be an amazing application of the tech.

[-] sugar_in_your_tea@sh.itjust.works 8 points 3 months ago

This plus those wearable battery things that recharge with movement could be super cool. Or just plug into a wheelchair battery or something.

[-] CmdrShepard42@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago

Also you can link it to HomeAssistant so when you unzip you can set an automation to lock your door, dim your lights, play Kenny G, and activate your touchless tissue dispenser.

[-] _druid@sh.itjust.works 41 points 3 months ago

I'm going to have to download an app to use my zippers, aren't I?

[-] PlutoniumAcid@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

Yes, and you need the subscription. There's only a yearly plan.

A five year plan and the non replacable battery only lasts 3 years

[-] datavoid@lemmy.ml 3 points 3 months ago

At least I can unzip my pants remotely

[-] spykee@lemm.ee 38 points 3 months ago

Good heavens, a motorised zipper on my trousers that will get my amazing humongous dong out in the open when my hands are busy fondling the hordes of skimpily dressed women with questionable character.
I will buy this.

[-] musubibreakfast@lemm.ee 4 points 3 months ago

Now you just need a gunpowder powered pulley system that whips your massive dong out of your fly after the motorized zipper opens your pants.

[-] echodot@feddit.uk 1 points 3 months ago

I'm just imagining the situation where it triggers a little early, and skins you on the way back up.

[-] Thedogdrinkscoffee@lemmy.ca 26 points 3 months ago

How did you get the beans above the frank?

Frank and beans!

Arrrgh!

[-] Imgonnatrythis@sh.itjust.works 4 points 3 months ago

That the article even suggested this is testament to modern tech stupidity. It was so close to saying that if they added AI to the zipper this wouldn't happen. Anyone that uses this on a fly has what's coming to them.

[-] BossDj@lemm.ee 2 points 3 months ago

on the fly

hehe

[-] Jyek@sh.itjust.works 2 points 3 months ago

Did we read the same article? The article was pretty open to the idea especially in the demonstrated environments. I also read nothing about AI...

[-] sundray@lemmus.org 20 points 3 months ago
[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

Great Scott, like a breeze of warm air.

[-] helpImTrappedOnline@lemmy.world 17 points 3 months ago

YKK exec; hey we've pretty much won the zipper market and quality brands default to us. But our social marketing teams says we need more presence in the news cycle, so how can we tank our reputation for clicks?"

YKK exec2; lets add AI to the zippers!

[-] yesman@lemmy.world 16 points 3 months ago

IDK, a zipper is pretty dangerous when I'm steering it, never mind full self driving.

[-] 2910000@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago

I like the idea of automatically fastening zips in places with limited access (like the tent example in the article), but unless the failure rate is very low, you'd always need a backup fastening technique on hand

[-] pupbiru@aussie.zone 5 points 3 months ago

and unfortunately for them a large number of the backup applications consist entirely of “attach a string to it”

[-] ABasilPlant@lemmy.world 15 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)
[-] LarmyOfLone@lemm.ee 7 points 3 months ago

Reading the headline I thought this would be about something space related, like unfolding solar sails.

[-] hakunawazo@lemmy.world 6 points 3 months ago
[-] x00z@lemmy.world 2 points 3 months ago

We don't need it motorized. We just need them to be of higher quality.

this post was submitted on 27 Apr 2025
237 points (100.0% liked)

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