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Why do you think JD Vance killed the Pope?
(sh.itjust.works)
Pope didn't say Thank you.
Pope didn't wear a suit.
White Pope robes? Don't you know how to wear respectful clothing?
maybe it lacks some stuff....like a pointy hood thingy
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Same as Liz Truss killing the queen. Sometimes, when you're old and in poor health, you just experience something that makes you think "fuck it, I don't need to put up with this shit anymore."
Lol .... this is it
When you're at the end of your life and hanging on the edge looking for a glimmer of hope .... then you get visited by an absolute tool that is only motivated by greed and power and represents a general apathy for any kind of humanity ...
you just think to yourself, "yeah, nah, this isn't worth it any more"
Especially if you genuinely believe in an afterlife. At some point, you think, "Why am I tolerating this tool? I got MUCH better places to be."
Just want to point out this is what furniture in the Vatican looked like before Pope Francis
And then after Pope Francis
Yeah, as far as popes go he was pretty chill
Still needed a way to finance a billion dollar corporation with tens of thousands of prime real estate all over the world managed by a legion of professional clergy all managed by a central office that is it's own country at the center of one of the most expensive cities in the world ..... all while spreading the message of piety, peace and being humble.
As much as everyone likes to glorify catholic leaders, they're still a mafia force that is based on money and wealth and Christian faith last
For sure, but as long as the mafia exists (which looks like it's going to be for a good long while still) I want it to have the leader who will do the most good possible, even if it's still a net negative. There are those out there who would use the resources to do a lot of harm.
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If anyone really cares, that's because Pope Francis was from the Jesuit Order. The first pope to be one. They swear poverty among other things, so the golden chair wouldn't look appropriate.
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I hope they sold the old chair and used the money for the poor, but they probably just tucked it in the attic
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He had his eye on a really nice couch in the lobby.
Realistically, no, but I still think it should be said frequently with sincerity.
The Pope refused to join his Signal group.
He joined the wrong signal group. Vance only realized when the pope asked "what's up with all the couch pics?"
He killed him by being near him
Vance killed him because the Pope didn't own a suit
JD didn't do it on purpose. The most reasonable answer is the Pope accidentally walked on JD in a tender moment with a loveseat. The Pontiff laughed himself to death.
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I don't think it was on purpose the Pope was just too frail to be in the same room as that much cringe. Frankly it was irresponsible of them to allow Vance anywhere near him.
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JD Vance just existed
The pope died of cringe from experiencing Vance's presence.
Death by cringe
Pope met the antichrist and said I'm outta here.
Probably not because the Pope didn't say thank you. Zelensky is still alive. He probably didn't say please as well.
the vatican couch was plush
To get a right wing replacement, duh.
The pope didn’t thank him
Vance is too stupid to kill him, he'd fuck it up for sure. Did you see him drop Ohio State's trophy the other day? The guy is a total fuck up. He'd end up putting the Iocaine Powder in his own tea.
Nah, it was someone in his entourage that did it.
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I love how this is thread is basically lemmyshitpost lmao
Rearrange the letters in J.D. Vance and you get VADJECAN
Same reason Liz Truss killed the Queen
He's both a subordinate of the Anti-Christ and Russian asset. He was called upon to kill the pope to initiate the Pope election process that they can manipulate in order to get a more "pro-apocalypse" Pope in place.
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Obviously Vance wanted to fuck the Papal seat. The pope tried to explain that he couldn't just let Vance fuck the chair of St Peter. Vance did not like this answer.
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The pope realized that no just or loving god would let that couch fucker anywhere near any position of power, so he offed himself out of depression.
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He probably didn't even do it on purpose. But I'm sure he did it.
The Pope had this really hot couch and JD fell in love with it at first sight. JD asked the couches father (the Pope) for the couches hand in marriage. The Pope, thinking this was a strange joke, laughed at JD's request. This filled JD with rage so he slit the popes thoat and began fucking the hot sofa.
As he bled out the pope was forced to watch the repeated violent defloration of his favorite piece of furniture.
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Obviously he was hoping to take his powers.
Vance saw this sexy ass chair And he just had to fuck it. I had to get down and dirty with that fancy seat. The pope tried to get in his way.
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because the pope wouldn't give him his couch
That pure malice that emanates from JankyDick is not recommended for anyone over the age of 80.
Vance is pure evil. Pure evil needs to feed to sustain. In the face of pure evil the pope lost all hope and then Vance fed upon his soul.
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One thing I've learned is never try to beat a couch fucker at his own game
Because Biden is catholic
Because Elon wanted it. Vance doesn't have an ounce of initiative in his body. He doesn't need a reason other than his boss asked him.
Sure didn't see this one coming, ironically. Before the pope had passed away I commented this on another post.
Bet the poor Pope couldn't even attend because in addition to his health issues he must have felt the evil pressure oozing from Vance.
Welp, poor Francis. He was a good one, and difficult to replace especially in these uncertain times.
The silver lining is that he really made his last big act in life to admonish Vance, and by extension the Trump admin, about their wrongdoing. He has my gratitude for that.
Because he's evil. And the pope publicly gave him a lecture. Made him look smaller than he already did.
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this post was submitted on 21 Apr 2025
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