LOL. Imagine seeing asbestos truthers coughing on their deathbed swearing that it’s completely harmless and that there’s a global conspiracy against it.

Old car guys are still bitter over unleaded gas. Some will drive to airports to buy the leaded stuff.

The Dipshit tried to bring it back his last term. Guess which country is the top producer of asbestos?

AI version of this, because I found it funny:

In Defense of Asbestos: The Mineral We Love to Hate

Look, everyone’s got their vices. Some people sip whiskey to "relax," others puff cigars to feel "distinguished." But heaven forbid you mention asbestos—suddenly, you're the villain in a 1980s PSA.

But let's be honest: asbestos walked so modern insulation could run. Before we had fancy synthetic fireproofing and high-tech soundproofing, asbestos was out here doing it all. Fire-resistant? Check. Insulating? Absolutely. Durable? Like the cockroach of minerals—won’t burn, won’t break, just vibes.

“Oh, but it causes health problems,” they say, as they light their third cigarette of the day and sip their third oat milk IPA. Everything causes health problems if you inhale it long enough. Ever tried breathing in glitter? Death trap.

And what happened to personal responsibility? You don’t see us eating asbestos sandwiches. We just want a little cozy, non-flammable nostalgia in our ceilings. It’s not like we’re snorting the stuff—though, let’s be real, if someone did that in the 70s, it was probably the same guy who invented disco.

Let’s stop pretending asbestos was some mustachio-twirling villain and start recognizing it for what it was: the gritty, misunderstood hero of 20th century construction. Sure, it had a dark side—but so did lead paint, and we don't see that getting canceled on social media.

So here’s to asbestos: May your fibers be forever airborne in the halls of history, and your reputation just slightly less shredded than it deserves.

I'm a little surprised Trump hasn't signed the "Asbestos Fibers Are Our Friends" Executive Order.

We DoN't NeEd VaCcInEs We'Ve GoT aSbEsToS!

Simpson's did it!

Back when asbestos was banned, everyone trusted the government. Nobody trusts the government anymore because of its constant foreign wars, corrupt candidates, and human rights abuses. We cannot do things like mandate vaccines and ban cars if the very government that would enforce that ban is this tyrannical and shitty.

Asbestos? More like Asworstos! Am I right?

lead too.

I need my full lead gasoline

I'm SO glad I live in a city with a decently functioning tram system. If something like that was proposed today, there'd be thousands of people complaining about being forced out of their cars or the city losing its charm or whatever nonsense.