AI version of this, because I found it funny:

In Defense of Asbestos: The Mineral We Love to Hate

Look, everyone’s got their vices. Some people sip whiskey to "relax," others puff cigars to feel "distinguished." But heaven forbid you mention asbestos—suddenly, you're the villain in a 1980s PSA.

But let's be honest: asbestos walked so modern insulation could run. Before we had fancy synthetic fireproofing and high-tech soundproofing, asbestos was out here doing it all. Fire-resistant? Check. Insulating? Absolutely. Durable? Like the cockroach of minerals—won’t burn, won’t break, just vibes.

“Oh, but it causes health problems,” they say, as they light their third cigarette of the day and sip their third oat milk IPA. Everything causes health problems if you inhale it long enough. Ever tried breathing in glitter? Death trap.

And what happened to personal responsibility? You don’t see us eating asbestos sandwiches. We just want a little cozy, non-flammable nostalgia in our ceilings. It’s not like we’re snorting the stuff—though, let’s be real, if someone did that in the 70s, it was probably the same guy who invented disco.

Let’s stop pretending asbestos was some mustachio-twirling villain and start recognizing it for what it was: the gritty, misunderstood hero of 20th century construction. Sure, it had a dark side—but so did lead paint, and we don't see that getting canceled on social media.

So here’s to asbestos: May your fibers be forever airborne in the halls of history, and your reputation just slightly less shredded than it deserves.